(03-09-2016, 10:18 AM)Kodie Wrote: I think for me, I am guilty of years ago thinking depression and anxiety a "Oh get over it" thing. But my wife suffers from both, and it's been a learning process over the past 12+ years of our relationship. It also made me realize I had depression and anxiety as well, I began to realize I had them a few years ago, and then realized that through out the years before hand there was plenty of evidence. The depression hit me even harder this past year after having multiple fall outs with friends. I dislike my current job, but depression made me loathe coming to work on Mondays that I had to fight the urge to say "meh fuck it, I'm not coming back." which in turn would be a big financial risk. Granted I had the thought of my wife knowing she had it tougher than me (she had other things going on that I won't disclose) and also didn't want the financial burden to be put solely on her. But I hated that feeling of dread. I also suffered from the downward spiral where if something made me angry, I would eventually get to a self loathing feeling like it was some how my fault, and I even took personal offense to almost anything, even if said subject was not about me.Thank you, truly. I'm taking Buspirone and the last two days it's almost felt like it was doing nothing. My doc said that's normal, since I just had the dosage adjusted and your body needs time to fully adjust. I understand the shakiness and dread. I laid in bed for 2 hours this morning before working up the strength to get up. As per the job scenario: I know that ALL too well. I had this one retail job worse than the others that actually nearly ruined a relationship of mine due to how badly it messed me up. Your advice definitely helps, by the way.
So finally after advice from my wife, I decided to take the medication route. I'm on 20mg of citalopram which I take daily. Initial side effects really did suck though, I couldn't get a decent night sleep for almost a week, and I was very shaky. But after those effects wore of, I was feeling better, things didn't bother me as much, I didn't feel that dread. I do feel moments of depression still, but it wears off quicker than it did before hand, I didn't have the "spiraling down" feeling most would feel. It also helps with with anxiety, but it's an SSRI which may work or not work well with your body, it really depends. I know my wife had to try multiple medications to find the one that worked for her.
So I'd suggest going that route, I know the stigma is still out there that "Medications are baaaad!!" and people are afraid they won't be themselves (I know I was worried about that hence why I took so long to try and take them) but I think it was one of the best decisions in my life, things are not perfect, but they are certainly better.
Hope this advice helps.
