Aw man, I feel for you. I played Altmer in TESO, it was a huge struggle to not be seen as a designated villain - I had a particularly memorable incident where my priestess character was talking politely to an (also Altmer) military officer at a market, and like three different Khajiit guards came up and went "Not making any trouble are you?!" It ended up being this kind of embarrassing scene with several guards because two dang elves were having tea and conversation.
My suggestion would be to just keep trying - eventually you'll run into people who are actually decent, and the ones who go "omg no lalafels pls" or ignore you, honestly, probably aren't worth RPing with in the first place.
My suggestion would be to just keep trying - eventually you'll run into people who are actually decent, and the ones who go "omg no lalafels pls" or ignore you, honestly, probably aren't worth RPing with in the first place.