Over the years, Lili had come to adapt a philosophy of life that had grown far less cheery then when she was younger. It was simply: "life goes on". However true it was did nothing to subtract from the bleak undertones when applied to certain situations. When her eldest daughter, Dei, was found dead and nailed to the door of one of her former employees? She kept a strong face for her children...but shattered on the inside. It was as if time stopped. Like this searing, red hot pain that gripped her organs and squeezed would just render her insides into a pulp. She would simply drop and the pain would be over.
But it didn't.
Life goes on. Elonwea continued to grow inside of her belly. Ado and Mikh'a continued to play together, not fully grasping the magnitude of the situation being ones so young and innocent to the dark realities of the world. Locke was there to comfort her until the shop needed him. Sara, while quietly grieving, would slowly pick up the fragments and shuffle along. Life didn't stop because of Lili's pain, the pain of losing a child.
Life goes on.
When Locke died and the body was found? Numbness came first. An all encompassing numbness to everything and everyone, even her children. Even her close friends. Nothing helped in those first few days. Not even Elli crying out of hunger broke her as she sat in the darkness of her bedroom, clutching a age worn blanket to her chest that had once belonged to her husband. Olli would flutter around her head, as if checking for injuries that he could assist with. But she looked fine. Healthy. For her age, Lili was in her prime at thirty six summers and likely had a few more years left before she truly began to decline into the signs of aging.
She didn't remember how many days she had been in that room, curtains drawn and darkness prevailing. She didn't remember how much she did or didn't eat or if she did or didn't sleep. It wasn't until her son came home with his bonded and was told what was happen did his booming steps echo up the stairs two or three at a time. The door to her bedroom was slammed open and she almost recoiled from the light that came in from the hallway.
"Get up." He looked so much like his father. Tall, dark skinned. Blonde hair.
She didn't move.
He stepped closer into the room and kneeled in front of her on the bed. She was still clutching the blanket to her chest. He tried to nudge it out of the way but she shook her head fiercely. Clutching it more tightly to her chest like he meant to take it away forever. His large hands rubbed over her arms but she couldn't stomach looking at her son.
"Ma...look at me."
Her head shook quickly from side to side.
But...life goes on.
He eventually coaxed her out of letting go of the blanket. For the first time in days, he got her to cry. She slumped into him and sobbed, dry heaving with snot dribbling and far from a vision of grace. Then he helped her up, arm around her waist, and helped get her to the tub across the hall. Sara was already there like he asked her to be and she helped their mother bathe. Helped her slowly come back into herself again. A few days after that? Lili managed to smile.
While life goes on, it doesn't always bring the people we love with it.
But it didn't.
Life goes on. Elonwea continued to grow inside of her belly. Ado and Mikh'a continued to play together, not fully grasping the magnitude of the situation being ones so young and innocent to the dark realities of the world. Locke was there to comfort her until the shop needed him. Sara, while quietly grieving, would slowly pick up the fragments and shuffle along. Life didn't stop because of Lili's pain, the pain of losing a child.
Life goes on.
When Locke died and the body was found? Numbness came first. An all encompassing numbness to everything and everyone, even her children. Even her close friends. Nothing helped in those first few days. Not even Elli crying out of hunger broke her as she sat in the darkness of her bedroom, clutching a age worn blanket to her chest that had once belonged to her husband. Olli would flutter around her head, as if checking for injuries that he could assist with. But she looked fine. Healthy. For her age, Lili was in her prime at thirty six summers and likely had a few more years left before she truly began to decline into the signs of aging.
She didn't remember how many days she had been in that room, curtains drawn and darkness prevailing. She didn't remember how much she did or didn't eat or if she did or didn't sleep. It wasn't until her son came home with his bonded and was told what was happen did his booming steps echo up the stairs two or three at a time. The door to her bedroom was slammed open and she almost recoiled from the light that came in from the hallway.
"Get up." He looked so much like his father. Tall, dark skinned. Blonde hair.
She didn't move.
He stepped closer into the room and kneeled in front of her on the bed. She was still clutching the blanket to her chest. He tried to nudge it out of the way but she shook her head fiercely. Clutching it more tightly to her chest like he meant to take it away forever. His large hands rubbed over her arms but she couldn't stomach looking at her son.
"Ma...look at me."
Her head shook quickly from side to side.
But...life goes on.
He eventually coaxed her out of letting go of the blanket. For the first time in days, he got her to cry. She slumped into him and sobbed, dry heaving with snot dribbling and far from a vision of grace. Then he helped her up, arm around her waist, and helped get her to the tub across the hall. Sara was already there like he asked her to be and she helped their mother bathe. Helped her slowly come back into herself again. A few days after that? Lili managed to smile.
While life goes on, it doesn't always bring the people we love with it.
