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Page #25: "Sunflower's Blossom"Â
Dear Diary, against sense and reason, I snuck away from the hospice and sought solace with Maple and Doctor Silvernail. She was in the front garden, Maple, beneath the cherry blossoms. I sat with her, and ran my fingers through the grass, allowing my pain to wither away into the earth. She's very gentle, Maple, with a down-to-earth attitude that resonates well with my own. I felt safe, sitting by the tree with her, away from my home troubles. So I confided my secrets to her. Perhaps I ought not have done that, because Maple was suddenly quite weighed with guilt, the burdens of holding my lies.
Doctor Silvernail arrived to tend to her Chocobo and later invited us inside for a lesson in wand-making. It was truly beautiful, I had made a wand of winds, which blossomed like a sunflower, a floral yellow that I'm told suggests an attunement to earth more than wind. Towards the end of class, I became overcome with emotions, the memory of my mother and I training in magic as Maple was with hers, brought upon me a sudden pain. I miss my mother. Doctor Silvernail and Sir Wemrys were a little shocked of my sudden tears and quite understandably worried.
Unable to bear the burden longer, Maple told of my secret, that I had ran away from home. I confessed to it's truth, and also that I had snuck away from my aunt and uncle again from the hospice. I feared I would be rejected at this point, cast out as a liar, never to see Maple again, for such a terrible influence I must be. But it was not so. Doctor Llinos and I spoke at heart's length, and she understood my pain. She too had lost much to the Calamity.
"We all thought it was the end of the world" she explained, "and when we emerged from it, the land had changed, our lives, changed. I venture it changed your aunt and uncle too. It can be hard to see anyone want to be an adventurer after that, though they are still what keeps us safe. With Maple and Sindri, I scarce want them out of my sight, but I know that it's an inevitability. When that happens, I want to know I gave them everything I could. Your aunt and uncle may want the same for you, but they might not know if it's enough. I shall help assure them."
Doctor Llinos's insight is a power born of wisdom, experience and a level of intelligence I may never truly attain, but under her guidance, did I find peace within myself and the will to accept my aunt and uncle's protectiveness, seeing their actions from a new light. It is true, they do love me. They have sacrificed much to care for me, I know that. It has been some days now, and things here at home have settled again. I feel lighter, having apologised for my recent rebellions. I'm allowed to venture out once more, and return to my usual forest walks.
It is an amazing feeling, to close one's eyes in the morning song of the Nightingale or spark a melody with the beautiful garden Robins, with your feet bare on the fallen autumn leaves, bathed in the warmth of the rising sun. Oh Gridania, how I love thee. A blessing under Nophica's light, in whose bosom have I grown. Hark, the calling of destiny afar, a journey awaits me over the seas, but sweet, sweet Gridania, never shall I forsake thee. Mine nameday comes, 'tis but three sunsets away. I shall be a woman, released from this sour green shell. Mayhaps I'll visit the Silvernails, have dinner with friends and wake anew in the morrow. Bright and yellow, like a sunflower's blossom.
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Sunflower's Blossom (Tumblr link)
