23rd Sun of the 4th Astral Moon
![[Image: tumblr_inline_oaqzlf4xKG1srsccc_540.png]](https://65.media.tumblr.com/d3371b44b6cea5896f5a9e3ee88d5e8a/tumblr_inline_oaqzlf4xKG1srsccc_540.png)
The nightmares have returned in full force, most unfortunately of all.
I thought I was doing perfectly well. Why, I’d scarcely had a fright from them in weeks. Of course I still had them - but the advice was helping. And now it is not.
Dreams of fire and knives. Dreams of lies and laughter. Dreams of Father and Brother.
They feel real. I don’t remember to wake myself up. If I do, it doesn’t work. I feel trapped, paralysed... all the while.
I am sure that being cooped up all of a day is doing me absolutely no favours in protecting myself from these awful episodes. I should be very glad indeed for to be permitted outside access again.
Yet for all this is distressing, somehow the thought of utilising the chemicals Dextrae advocates me to use is moreso; the idea of handing over control of my body to a simple potion... at least the nightmares are showing me horrors I am already familiar with.
Whichever road it occurs by, I rather hope it shall be over soon.
