Entry 6 - Conflict of Ideals:
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Within this moon, I have hunted quite a few criminals and was successful in finishing them off. Only a couple have managed to escape my grasp and I told myself it wouldn't happen again. Now, I'm unsure.
And it's his fault, all his fault. If I never made that stupid deal, I wouldn't be in this mess.
Tray'ju. A smuggler I met at Vesper Bay - Â I wasn't looking to kill him, but instead use him to get to his employers . Of course, he wouldn't let that happen and once I realized he wasn't going to make it easier, I told myself that I would have to instead remove the source and deal with knowing it would now be more difficult to find his employers.
Even after taking a bullet to my right shoulder, I had him on the ground and ready to face death, but he threw a surprise at me.
Literally.
I'm still not sure what it was, but he threw a drug at me to not only blind me but send me down to my knees as well. If he wanted to, he could've likely finished me off. He didn't though and at the time, I didn't understand why.
I knew we would meet again, but I figured it would be more like last time except with me actually finishing him off. Alas, that's not was is was like at all. Arcadeus needed information on 'B.B' in order to track him down and find the relic he stole from out client. What we did know about 'B.B' is that he has worked with many smugglers and even had a recent shipment in Vesper Bay. Lucky me, I happened to know a smuggler so I was tasked with getting what information I could. I knew he would drive a hard bargain for it, after all, I did try to kill him, but he was the only chance I had.
Part of me wishes I never made the deal. On the surface, the deal seemed unfair to me for such small information. Under the surface, I thought I had gained the upper hand. Not only would I have a year to kill all these other criminals he would lead me to, but I would be able to remove him from the picture too.
However, as I sit here now, alone in the dim-lit room, I begin to think that I made a mistake. I haven't known Tray'ju for that long and even so, he has already accomplished so much. He has successfully obtained a new smuggling partner, beat my ideals to the ground, and tempt me with Somnus.
With everything he has done, I can already tell I'm changing. But maybe, just maybe, that isn't a bad thing. As much as I loathe this man and want to think he is wrong, maybe I'm just not thinking clearly. I don't think I can fully admit it to myself, at least not yet. This entire thought process is leaving me conflicted, I need more whiskey.
*Side note: After the injury sustained in my fight with Tray, I am unable to feel anything in my right arm. I am unable to move it and with this setback, I am unable to fight. I need to keep my guard up at all times because of this - I'm at a disadvantage.
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OOC Note:
I finally caught up with the entries! I actually skipped over some stuff that happened within the month that she has been around, but I took the time to consider how crucial it really was to her character development and saw it as something that didn't matter too much.
Any entries beyond this point is considered on time unless stated otherwise.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Within this moon, I have hunted quite a few criminals and was successful in finishing them off. Only a couple have managed to escape my grasp and I told myself it wouldn't happen again. Now, I'm unsure.
And it's his fault, all his fault. If I never made that stupid deal, I wouldn't be in this mess.
Tray'ju. A smuggler I met at Vesper Bay - Â I wasn't looking to kill him, but instead use him to get to his employers . Of course, he wouldn't let that happen and once I realized he wasn't going to make it easier, I told myself that I would have to instead remove the source and deal with knowing it would now be more difficult to find his employers.
Even after taking a bullet to my right shoulder, I had him on the ground and ready to face death, but he threw a surprise at me.
Literally.
I'm still not sure what it was, but he threw a drug at me to not only blind me but send me down to my knees as well. If he wanted to, he could've likely finished me off. He didn't though and at the time, I didn't understand why.
I knew we would meet again, but I figured it would be more like last time except with me actually finishing him off. Alas, that's not was is was like at all. Arcadeus needed information on 'B.B' in order to track him down and find the relic he stole from out client. What we did know about 'B.B' is that he has worked with many smugglers and even had a recent shipment in Vesper Bay. Lucky me, I happened to know a smuggler so I was tasked with getting what information I could. I knew he would drive a hard bargain for it, after all, I did try to kill him, but he was the only chance I had.
Part of me wishes I never made the deal. On the surface, the deal seemed unfair to me for such small information. Under the surface, I thought I had gained the upper hand. Not only would I have a year to kill all these other criminals he would lead me to, but I would be able to remove him from the picture too.
However, as I sit here now, alone in the dim-lit room, I begin to think that I made a mistake. I haven't known Tray'ju for that long and even so, he has already accomplished so much. He has successfully obtained a new smuggling partner, beat my ideals to the ground, and tempt me with Somnus.
With everything he has done, I can already tell I'm changing. But maybe, just maybe, that isn't a bad thing. As much as I loathe this man and want to think he is wrong, maybe I'm just not thinking clearly. I don't think I can fully admit it to myself, at least not yet. This entire thought process is leaving me conflicted, I need more whiskey.
*Side note: After the injury sustained in my fight with Tray, I am unable to feel anything in my right arm. I am unable to move it and with this setback, I am unable to fight. I need to keep my guard up at all times because of this - I'm at a disadvantage.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
OOC Note:
I finally caught up with the entries! I actually skipped over some stuff that happened within the month that she has been around, but I took the time to consider how crucial it really was to her character development and saw it as something that didn't matter too much.
Any entries beyond this point is considered on time unless stated otherwise.
![[Image: LeN1WVo.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/LeN1WVo.jpg)
