3rd Sun of the 6th Astral Moon
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My dear journal, I have
NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING
I think I am going to wring Nagano no Kaito’s neck when I see him next. He claimed this would make matters easier, did he not? Well, he was wrong and I have no one to ask for guidance. You cannot possibly advertise for such a thing, can you? “Ah yes, I need aid in controlling the likely illegal magic a practical stranger impressed upon me because he learned I was a murderer!†I’m sure that would go down very well with Mealvaan’s Gate!
This “darkside†has chosen its face and I think it has chosen wrong. In hopes of silencing it, I sparred with Defiant yesterday, and all it had to say was how pathetic I was for being friends with her! For helping her when she was hurt! For allowing her to heal me when I was!
At the very least, I learned something else of her - a secret, she said. She is not capable of healing herself. This makes me wonder whether I ought to contact her for future sparring sessions at all - it seems having the stone goad me in my ear drives me to a certain level of aggression, and while I trust her like few others to be able to survive it, I do not wish to press hurts onto her which cannot immediately be healed. Although I shall be sure to bring potions especially for her next time, perhaps I should be focussing on dismissing this creature Nagano has given me entirely instead of “controlling†it.
It is all very well to tell one to “walk the pathâ€, but to abandon one alone in the woods and expect him to find it?
