Roen held her breath for an instant.
Her eyes had been affixed to the stars while she listened to him. She had felt somewhat awkward in revealing as much as she did to Khadai; she herself was not aware why she was so motivated, until she thought about how to answer him. She thought perhaps it was the lingering memories of the Ehs Daih that compelled her to be so forthright, although she did not dare meet his gaze for the fear that he would answer her with a baffled expression.
His reaction was absent to say the least, his usual unflappable outlook firmly in place. Roen was relieved for it, it made it easy to dismiss her own inner quandary on the matter.
Although now that he was openly pondering on the uncertainty of his future… the paladin was caught speechless. She had been preparing herself for his eventual departure. In the beginning, it had been a certain thing; she had agreed to aid him so that he could return home. But as moons passed and their trust in each other grew, a part of her lamented the inevitable coming of the sun when he would indeed depart Eorzea.
But now, that possibility was put to question… and Roen found herself staring even harder at the night sky. Slowly she frowned.
“What do you mean?†She turned back to him, propping herself by an elbow. Her expression had tightened with concern. “Why do you no longer have a place amongst your people? Or doubt that you should return at all?â€
Khadai took a deep breath in, and there was hesitation that crossed his face. It was after some moment of consideration that he quietly answered her.
“I was Tsenkhai, once. Capable of interpreting the Correspondence.†His deep green eyes looked to the small fire pit in front of them, where a tiny ember struggled to provide what warmth it could among some burning twigs. “I was… someone else back then. He was betrayed by someone close to him, who sacrificed him to cover their own crimes. As punishment, the Tsenkhai allowed the temple to consume his aether so that he could never return to the lifestream. And in his soulless vessel they placed… me.†Khadai held up his hand. “That is what I was shown in Ehs Daih. Some of his knowledge remains with me, which is how I may explain things I should not or could not know.â€
Roen stared at him in disbelief. He only answered her bewilderment with a long sigh.“It causes one to think. Perhaps I should be doubting it, or perhaps not. Either way… if my people remember the crimes of my vessel, perhaps they will reject me. If I cannot agree with their verdict, perhaps I will reject them. It is not a simple situation.â€
“Your body… is not yours,†Roen said slowly. She stared at the empty space in between her and Khadai, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand the concept. “It was not yours. But it was given to you.†There was a pause as she tried to organize yet another flurry of questions that rose in her mind.
“So is that what they meant? When they said your pain held no purpose? Is that because the burden you bear is that of another?†She felt a sudden shiver run through her spine, although the cooling night air had nothing to do with it. “This Tsenkhai, your predecessor... he is never to be allowed to return to the lifestream.†She could not hide her feeling of dismay and horror. “What did he do that he deserved no peace even in death?â€
“Perhaps they felt that I would be better off if I did not know. Perhaps they were right.†Khadai poked at the dying fire with the toe of his boot. “I had… heard about this. Sometimes, Ka--our temple would store the souls of individuals who are ill or mortally wounded within itself. I must have been one such individual at one point to be reintroduced into this vessel. I am certain my memories are my own, but some are naturally lost as a result of the process.â€
The Xaela held his hand out in front of him, flexing the fingers in re-examination. “Our temple takes small fragments of our souls, in a process called the forfeiture. Doing so allows us to be linked to one another in a small way, with the temple as a common conduit. We may know when others are in danger or where we should return to for a gathering. At times, pieces of memories or dangerous habits or inclinations will be taken as well… pieces of individuality that may threaten the whole. I remember undergoing the forfeiture again once I awoke… I can only imagine that some of the Tsenkhai were making sure that none of him was left once they were finished.â€
Roen’s face slowly twisted with unease as she listened to him. She chewed her lower lip in contemplation, to try and understand all that Khadai was sharing about his culture. While some of it seemed incredible and astonishing, other details brought a cautionary warning to mind.
Roen could not help but immediately suspect that these Tsenkhai may have been given too much power. They seemed to decide the fates of the others at will, even determining another soul’s afterlife. She was familiar enough with the rumors of Garlemald conscripting those who resisted their authority; and while she never gave the thread of similarity between the Empire and the strict organization of Khadai’s people much thought before, now she wondered how much of that comparison held true. Learning that the Tsenkhai were allowed to pluck apart someone’s essence at their discretion did not sit well with her.
But she knew that there was so much more she did not know about his people. He told her that his people shared truths with each other; they had the ability to communicate with each other without words. Such intimate connections of the mind would allow for misuse of power and authority to be rooted out, did it not? For her to immediately suspect a civilization she did not know, would make her no different from the Eorzeans that would blanketly judge all people of Garlemald.
Roen sat up straight, pulling on her bedroll to wrap it around her shoulders to further ward off the cold. “But you said you have some memories that are his. That you know what you should not know. So some of him was left behind.†She canted her head, eyeing him worriedly. “Does it burden you?â€
Her eyes had been affixed to the stars while she listened to him. She had felt somewhat awkward in revealing as much as she did to Khadai; she herself was not aware why she was so motivated, until she thought about how to answer him. She thought perhaps it was the lingering memories of the Ehs Daih that compelled her to be so forthright, although she did not dare meet his gaze for the fear that he would answer her with a baffled expression.
His reaction was absent to say the least, his usual unflappable outlook firmly in place. Roen was relieved for it, it made it easy to dismiss her own inner quandary on the matter.
Although now that he was openly pondering on the uncertainty of his future… the paladin was caught speechless. She had been preparing herself for his eventual departure. In the beginning, it had been a certain thing; she had agreed to aid him so that he could return home. But as moons passed and their trust in each other grew, a part of her lamented the inevitable coming of the sun when he would indeed depart Eorzea.
But now, that possibility was put to question… and Roen found herself staring even harder at the night sky. Slowly she frowned.
“What do you mean?†She turned back to him, propping herself by an elbow. Her expression had tightened with concern. “Why do you no longer have a place amongst your people? Or doubt that you should return at all?â€
Khadai took a deep breath in, and there was hesitation that crossed his face. It was after some moment of consideration that he quietly answered her.
“I was Tsenkhai, once. Capable of interpreting the Correspondence.†His deep green eyes looked to the small fire pit in front of them, where a tiny ember struggled to provide what warmth it could among some burning twigs. “I was… someone else back then. He was betrayed by someone close to him, who sacrificed him to cover their own crimes. As punishment, the Tsenkhai allowed the temple to consume his aether so that he could never return to the lifestream. And in his soulless vessel they placed… me.†Khadai held up his hand. “That is what I was shown in Ehs Daih. Some of his knowledge remains with me, which is how I may explain things I should not or could not know.â€
Roen stared at him in disbelief. He only answered her bewilderment with a long sigh.“It causes one to think. Perhaps I should be doubting it, or perhaps not. Either way… if my people remember the crimes of my vessel, perhaps they will reject me. If I cannot agree with their verdict, perhaps I will reject them. It is not a simple situation.â€
“Your body… is not yours,†Roen said slowly. She stared at the empty space in between her and Khadai, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand the concept. “It was not yours. But it was given to you.†There was a pause as she tried to organize yet another flurry of questions that rose in her mind.
“So is that what they meant? When they said your pain held no purpose? Is that because the burden you bear is that of another?†She felt a sudden shiver run through her spine, although the cooling night air had nothing to do with it. “This Tsenkhai, your predecessor... he is never to be allowed to return to the lifestream.†She could not hide her feeling of dismay and horror. “What did he do that he deserved no peace even in death?â€
“Perhaps they felt that I would be better off if I did not know. Perhaps they were right.†Khadai poked at the dying fire with the toe of his boot. “I had… heard about this. Sometimes, Ka--our temple would store the souls of individuals who are ill or mortally wounded within itself. I must have been one such individual at one point to be reintroduced into this vessel. I am certain my memories are my own, but some are naturally lost as a result of the process.â€
The Xaela held his hand out in front of him, flexing the fingers in re-examination. “Our temple takes small fragments of our souls, in a process called the forfeiture. Doing so allows us to be linked to one another in a small way, with the temple as a common conduit. We may know when others are in danger or where we should return to for a gathering. At times, pieces of memories or dangerous habits or inclinations will be taken as well… pieces of individuality that may threaten the whole. I remember undergoing the forfeiture again once I awoke… I can only imagine that some of the Tsenkhai were making sure that none of him was left once they were finished.â€
Roen’s face slowly twisted with unease as she listened to him. She chewed her lower lip in contemplation, to try and understand all that Khadai was sharing about his culture. While some of it seemed incredible and astonishing, other details brought a cautionary warning to mind.
Roen could not help but immediately suspect that these Tsenkhai may have been given too much power. They seemed to decide the fates of the others at will, even determining another soul’s afterlife. She was familiar enough with the rumors of Garlemald conscripting those who resisted their authority; and while she never gave the thread of similarity between the Empire and the strict organization of Khadai’s people much thought before, now she wondered how much of that comparison held true. Learning that the Tsenkhai were allowed to pluck apart someone’s essence at their discretion did not sit well with her.
But she knew that there was so much more she did not know about his people. He told her that his people shared truths with each other; they had the ability to communicate with each other without words. Such intimate connections of the mind would allow for misuse of power and authority to be rooted out, did it not? For her to immediately suspect a civilization she did not know, would make her no different from the Eorzeans that would blanketly judge all people of Garlemald.
Roen sat up straight, pulling on her bedroll to wrap it around her shoulders to further ward off the cold. “But you said you have some memories that are his. That you know what you should not know. So some of him was left behind.†She canted her head, eyeing him worriedly. “Does it burden you?â€
