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Honestly, watching this whole thread unfold... Makes me think people sometimes only deal in absolutes. It's either white or black.
Well I for one, and call that unpopular opinion if you will, I find there is truth in both sides of the fence. The advices given by mosts are solid and I don't think many disagree with that.
I'm also sure that experiences vary and some have had more luck than others.
I also know for a fact like the exact same way some people play the game better than others when it comes to PuGs and dungeons and stuff, well, some people are also better at finding contacts and their place than others.
And that's okay. As long as you are willing to improve and make things move in the right way, half the way is done. Then... yes, it depends on your own skills. Telling people they have to move their asses and that's only their fault they aren't finding anything is... while more or less true, also a bit harsh in itself.
You don't tell someone suffering from occasional depression to move their ass simply because you could do it. You don't tell someone crippled to perform the exact same jump you did simply because you could.
But, you can tell them alternatives. You can show them possible ways that are more affordable to their specific case.
I saw a lot of comments on that you can't know why someone ignored you. That they could be RPing in a closed circle, or didn't see you under a wall of text, or other possibilities. That's definitely true.
You can't also know why someone isn't the social butterfly you are. Some fling their social anxiety for every reason possible in a very disingenuous manner, and a lot others actually have issues like that. Telling them to move their ass or die is not going to do much except alienating them. Sometimes people are seeing through it through a privileged lens that doesn't do justice to what it actually is for others.
Well I for one, and call that unpopular opinion if you will, I find there is truth in both sides of the fence. The advices given by mosts are solid and I don't think many disagree with that.
I'm also sure that experiences vary and some have had more luck than others.
I also know for a fact like the exact same way some people play the game better than others when it comes to PuGs and dungeons and stuff, well, some people are also better at finding contacts and their place than others.
And that's okay. As long as you are willing to improve and make things move in the right way, half the way is done. Then... yes, it depends on your own skills. Telling people they have to move their asses and that's only their fault they aren't finding anything is... while more or less true, also a bit harsh in itself.
You don't tell someone suffering from occasional depression to move their ass simply because you could do it. You don't tell someone crippled to perform the exact same jump you did simply because you could.
But, you can tell them alternatives. You can show them possible ways that are more affordable to their specific case.
I saw a lot of comments on that you can't know why someone ignored you. That they could be RPing in a closed circle, or didn't see you under a wall of text, or other possibilities. That's definitely true.
You can't also know why someone isn't the social butterfly you are. Some fling their social anxiety for every reason possible in a very disingenuous manner, and a lot others actually have issues like that. Telling them to move their ass or die is not going to do much except alienating them. Sometimes people are seeing through it through a privileged lens that doesn't do justice to what it actually is for others.
Balmung:Â Suen Shyu