Let me preface this: Â I roleplay in FFXIV and my husband does not. Â My character is in a long-standing relationship with another Player and is due to be Bonded with that character soon'ish. Â My husband and I are non-jealous types that are pretty easy-going, but we talk about everything. Â He hears about my RP shenanigans usually on the night they happen (or while things are going on.) Â
My friendship with the Player is strictly that, just friendship. Â We talk a lot OOC on Skype or Discord, do a lot of PVE things together, but he never takes priority over my husband. Â I made it crystal clear when our characters first got involved that I was happily married and any attempt at a romantic relationship OOC would result in them summarily being booted to the curb. Â XD Â That's never been a problem though, the Player is a chill dude and a good friend. Â Not everyone does this, though, since they're afraid it will make people avoid them.
While I've never been in your exact shoes, I've been roleplaying for a long, long time now, so I've seen this same issue come up time and again. Â Given that, I have some warning signs that may help you:
1.) Â If your SO ignores or reschedules IRL plans (or plans with YOU) in favor of RP ones. Â
This one is probably the biggest warning sign. Â Nothing in the game should ever supersede the real people in your life, especially your spouse/significant other/children.
2.) Â If your SO refuses to RP with you in the room and/or tries to hide the screen when you're in the room. Â
Having something to hide when it comes to RP means that they're doing something they're ashamed of, or something that might upset you -- that's a problem. Â They know they're doing something wrong, but refuse to admit it. Â (Or stop doing it.)
3.) Â If your SO have talked about this before and they've been dismissive of your discomfort. Â (i.e. "It's just RP!")
Your feelings and your comfort level as the IRL partner come first and foremost. Â If your SO is unwilling to listen and at least consider your feelings without dismissing them, that's something you really need to take into consideration.
4.) If your SO has the abovelisted habits ONLY with their relationship RP partner, but no one else.
It's particularly telling if your SO's behavior changes only when they're with their romantic partner. Â If you're privy to all other aspects of their roleplay, but NOT that part, then it may be time to set some boundaries.
I agree with everyone else here, though, that if you haven't yet talked to your SO about your feelings and whatnot, then it's absolutely high-time to.
My friendship with the Player is strictly that, just friendship. Â We talk a lot OOC on Skype or Discord, do a lot of PVE things together, but he never takes priority over my husband. Â I made it crystal clear when our characters first got involved that I was happily married and any attempt at a romantic relationship OOC would result in them summarily being booted to the curb. Â XD Â That's never been a problem though, the Player is a chill dude and a good friend. Â Not everyone does this, though, since they're afraid it will make people avoid them.
While I've never been in your exact shoes, I've been roleplaying for a long, long time now, so I've seen this same issue come up time and again. Â Given that, I have some warning signs that may help you:
1.) Â If your SO ignores or reschedules IRL plans (or plans with YOU) in favor of RP ones. Â
This one is probably the biggest warning sign. Â Nothing in the game should ever supersede the real people in your life, especially your spouse/significant other/children.
2.) Â If your SO refuses to RP with you in the room and/or tries to hide the screen when you're in the room. Â
Having something to hide when it comes to RP means that they're doing something they're ashamed of, or something that might upset you -- that's a problem. Â They know they're doing something wrong, but refuse to admit it. Â (Or stop doing it.)
3.) Â If your SO have talked about this before and they've been dismissive of your discomfort. Â (i.e. "It's just RP!")
Your feelings and your comfort level as the IRL partner come first and foremost. Â If your SO is unwilling to listen and at least consider your feelings without dismissing them, that's something you really need to take into consideration.
4.) If your SO has the abovelisted habits ONLY with their relationship RP partner, but no one else.
It's particularly telling if your SO's behavior changes only when they're with their romantic partner. Â If you're privy to all other aspects of their roleplay, but NOT that part, then it may be time to set some boundaries.
I agree with everyone else here, though, that if you haven't yet talked to your SO about your feelings and whatnot, then it's absolutely high-time to.
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