Something others haven't mentioned (or if they did, I missed it) which I feel is important is this:
A player who expects to receive far more than they are willing to give isn't worth effort.
That may sound harsh, but it plays into the concept of that the responsibility of providing entertainment and enjoyment doesn't fall solely on the shoulders of leaders, it falls on everyone involved. Unless the group has some sort of rule which forbids members from creating and running plots/events for the group (which I've seen, but never understood), the answer to a player who says they're bored is "What kind of event or plot would you like to run to alleviate your boredom?"Â
Okay, some players just feel they don't have the mind or energy to host something. Personally, I think that's cop-out nonsense most of the time, but there are some people who just genuinely lack the confidence to even make the attempt. For players like that, you have to watch whether or not they participate in what others are putting out there, because even someone who doesn't run anything but does show up and support the activities others provide is still being a valuable team player.
If a player neither hosts events nor routinely participates in them, cut them lose and move on. Don't even feel bad about it, don't second-guess it, your time and effort have value and your energy is finite. Don't bother with a 1:1 conversation to ask them why they aren't, and to try and psychology them... most roleplayers seem to favor placation and confrontation-avoidance, so you're likely to get a lot of praise and promises of support which end up moot (I've almost never seen this kind of thing end up resulting in any permanent change from the player - they may show up once or twice, but then go right back to how they were).
It's tough to lead. Sometimes you'll have whole swaths of people wander away at once, and usually for reasons which don't even make logical sense and hurt your feelings and confidence in the process. The hard truth is, most of us roleplay because we have terrible social skills. People who have good social skills have actual social lives rather than digital ones. There'll probably be a few people who will read that and get immediately angry, but hey, I'm not excluding myself. The lot of us, we're all strange hermits, each with our own cocktail of anxieties and neuroses, and successfully trying to get any of us to do anything useful together can be a bit like herding cats through a field of catnip. Any small amount of cooperative effort and results is almost miraculous if you think about it, so don't beat yourself up too badly if things seem tough. Just kinda the nature of the beast, I guess.
A player who expects to receive far more than they are willing to give isn't worth effort.
That may sound harsh, but it plays into the concept of that the responsibility of providing entertainment and enjoyment doesn't fall solely on the shoulders of leaders, it falls on everyone involved. Unless the group has some sort of rule which forbids members from creating and running plots/events for the group (which I've seen, but never understood), the answer to a player who says they're bored is "What kind of event or plot would you like to run to alleviate your boredom?"Â
Okay, some players just feel they don't have the mind or energy to host something. Personally, I think that's cop-out nonsense most of the time, but there are some people who just genuinely lack the confidence to even make the attempt. For players like that, you have to watch whether or not they participate in what others are putting out there, because even someone who doesn't run anything but does show up and support the activities others provide is still being a valuable team player.
If a player neither hosts events nor routinely participates in them, cut them lose and move on. Don't even feel bad about it, don't second-guess it, your time and effort have value and your energy is finite. Don't bother with a 1:1 conversation to ask them why they aren't, and to try and psychology them... most roleplayers seem to favor placation and confrontation-avoidance, so you're likely to get a lot of praise and promises of support which end up moot (I've almost never seen this kind of thing end up resulting in any permanent change from the player - they may show up once or twice, but then go right back to how they were).
It's tough to lead. Sometimes you'll have whole swaths of people wander away at once, and usually for reasons which don't even make logical sense and hurt your feelings and confidence in the process. The hard truth is, most of us roleplay because we have terrible social skills. People who have good social skills have actual social lives rather than digital ones. There'll probably be a few people who will read that and get immediately angry, but hey, I'm not excluding myself. The lot of us, we're all strange hermits, each with our own cocktail of anxieties and neuroses, and successfully trying to get any of us to do anything useful together can be a bit like herding cats through a field of catnip. Any small amount of cooperative effort and results is almost miraculous if you think about it, so don't beat yourself up too badly if things seem tough. Just kinda the nature of the beast, I guess.
Lydia Lightfoot ~ The Reliquarian's Guild «Relic» ~ Lavender Beds, Ward 12, #41
This player has a sense of humor. If the content of the post suggests otherwise, please err on the side of amusement and friendship, because that's almost certainly the intent. We're all on the same team: Team Roleplayer! Have a smile, have a chuckle, and have a slice of pie. Isn't pie great?
This player has a sense of humor. If the content of the post suggests otherwise, please err on the side of amusement and friendship, because that's almost certainly the intent. We're all on the same team: Team Roleplayer! Have a smile, have a chuckle, and have a slice of pie. Isn't pie great?
