One thing I've learned through 20 years of RPing is that a red flag in one person may not be a red flag in another person. Human beings are so complex! And there are no two people alike in the world. It boils down to my preferences and perspective as to whether I'll get on with someone, and how our little "crazy patterns" do with each other.Â
For example, I'm a very time-oriented person, so it can be a red flag if I'm RPing with someone who's late or blows off a RP session. That's because I tend to block out my free time and tend to know what I'm doing at a certain time in the near future. I keep calendars to keep track of my appointments, both in RL and in-game, so time is valuable to me.Â
A person who doesn't value time is going to be someone that I won't want to play in-depth with, or commit to. Not because they're a bad person, and not because I'm right, but because we're different people in this aspect. From past experience of trying to make RP relationships work involving this, I know it ends up with OOC issues eventually.Â
On the internet, especially since we're missing face-to-face communication and can't read when a person is joking, serious, mad, depressed, etc (although we can pick up on clues over time), I'd rather recognize this from the beginning and not encourage interaction with a person like this involving times, so that we can remain on friendly terms.Â
It's just recognizing that I have a quirk that doesn't mesh well with someone else's quirk, habit, issue, etc, and moving on from them. It's learning to trust my gut instinct about people the first time it pops up, even if I can't quite place my finger on what it is in the beginning. I always trust that. In other words, what may be a red flag to one person may not be to another, and it's easy for threads like this to delve into personal pet peeves instead of what constitutes red flag behaviors.Â
There are people out there bent on maliciousness, stalking and other sociopathic/psychotic behaviors, and when you come across one of these people, if you're in tune with yourself, you'll get the biggest NOPE feeling crawling down your spine and little alarm bells going off in your head saying, DON'T ENGAGE, RUN AWAY. Thankfully they're not as abundant as they once were, since more victims are stepping forward and naming names. But always listen to that inner voice when engaging people, even if you can't explain it.
For example, I'm a very time-oriented person, so it can be a red flag if I'm RPing with someone who's late or blows off a RP session. That's because I tend to block out my free time and tend to know what I'm doing at a certain time in the near future. I keep calendars to keep track of my appointments, both in RL and in-game, so time is valuable to me.Â
A person who doesn't value time is going to be someone that I won't want to play in-depth with, or commit to. Not because they're a bad person, and not because I'm right, but because we're different people in this aspect. From past experience of trying to make RP relationships work involving this, I know it ends up with OOC issues eventually.Â
On the internet, especially since we're missing face-to-face communication and can't read when a person is joking, serious, mad, depressed, etc (although we can pick up on clues over time), I'd rather recognize this from the beginning and not encourage interaction with a person like this involving times, so that we can remain on friendly terms.Â
It's just recognizing that I have a quirk that doesn't mesh well with someone else's quirk, habit, issue, etc, and moving on from them. It's learning to trust my gut instinct about people the first time it pops up, even if I can't quite place my finger on what it is in the beginning. I always trust that. In other words, what may be a red flag to one person may not be to another, and it's easy for threads like this to delve into personal pet peeves instead of what constitutes red flag behaviors.Â
There are people out there bent on maliciousness, stalking and other sociopathic/psychotic behaviors, and when you come across one of these people, if you're in tune with yourself, you'll get the biggest NOPE feeling crawling down your spine and little alarm bells going off in your head saying, DON'T ENGAGE, RUN AWAY. Thankfully they're not as abundant as they once were, since more victims are stepping forward and naming names. But always listen to that inner voice when engaging people, even if you can't explain it.
