The Correct Step (Journal #7)
Sometimes the way Kai eyes Nassa and I when we are together makes me think she might find a place for one of her knives in my side or something. Other times she looks upon us with some sort of, abyss I can’t explain it, fondness? It’s like a sea storm going on behind that woman’s eyes and she isn’t one that is easy to read. Is she thinking Nassa and I are doing something? I mean, Twelves curse me, yeah Nassa is easy on the eyes and I admit I care for the little lady but Kai is Kai. She has been my world before anything else. No one can take me from her but her. She is home and where I feel I was always meant to be.Â
Maybe that’s why I made the trip I did the other day. Kai wanted to know where I was going and even Nassa did too. Kai because she hates when we are not together cause of obvious reasons in the past. Even when I take merchant caravan jobs guarding the lot of merchants and goods she is concerned. I took her on a couple already but then I see the worry in Nassa’s eyes too and remember how she loss her fallen mate. Sands take me but what am I to do with these two women!Â
Anyway, the trip I took was me choosing what to do with one of them. Nassa I still, I don’t know. The way she acts around me I, I just don’t know. But Kai? Kai I know. Kai I know the shape of the that storm. I know the waters and how I want to chart them. I just know that I want her and I want her for all my days that I have left in this tide cursed world. So I went and did something I’m not overly fond of which is shopping.Â
![[Image: tumblr_inline_oz6mvm07op1uz9eea_540.png]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef09ae1e102384235c83b27202c421ab/tumblr_inline_oz6mvm07op1uz9eea_540.png)
![[Image: tumblr_inline_oz6of2ZJfg1uz9eea_540.png]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/57afeac3283e0cf3f91a4652a2a9316c/tumblr_inline_oz6of2ZJfg1uz9eea_540.png)
![[Image: tumblr_inline_oz6oc5f4Iu1uz9eea_540.png]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/1c4406e26d8643e7cc27c2f8e42d30fa/tumblr_inline_oz6oc5f4Iu1uz9eea_540.png)
I admit it. I don’t no shit about buying something for a woman. I got one thing for one and she left my ass looking the fool so that was no example to live by, right? But tide take me but this feels right. Even when I stood there trying to understand what in the abyss I was looking out and deciding on. All of it. It felt right. I was meant to be there. I was meant to make this decision. I was meant to be with Kai. All of it. Sort of catches me off guard, right? Never felt so damned certain about anything in my entire existence than this. Nothing so firm in my mind. I even spoke to Nassa about it because she walked this path before and from the smile on that little one’s face she knew all what I meant. Course I also saw the water forming in her eyes and that doused me a bit.Â
But she reassured me the correct step I’m making on this path and that she knows Kai would want nothing less herself. It wasn’t that Kai had told her as such but she said it was all too apparent between Kai and I that this was the path necessary for us both to continue in this world.
So, well, wish me luck. Don’t know when I’ll get the chance to see if my shopping skills prove to be of any worth or if I will even know what to bloody say when the time comes. Not like I’m writing something down. I’m just going with the flow, right? Isn’t that how it is done?Â
Twelve take me if I fuck all this up and show no mercy on my soul because I have no damned clue what I’m doing but on my blood I’m doing it!Â
Sometimes the way Kai eyes Nassa and I when we are together makes me think she might find a place for one of her knives in my side or something. Other times she looks upon us with some sort of, abyss I can’t explain it, fondness? It’s like a sea storm going on behind that woman’s eyes and she isn’t one that is easy to read. Is she thinking Nassa and I are doing something? I mean, Twelves curse me, yeah Nassa is easy on the eyes and I admit I care for the little lady but Kai is Kai. She has been my world before anything else. No one can take me from her but her. She is home and where I feel I was always meant to be.Â
Maybe that’s why I made the trip I did the other day. Kai wanted to know where I was going and even Nassa did too. Kai because she hates when we are not together cause of obvious reasons in the past. Even when I take merchant caravan jobs guarding the lot of merchants and goods she is concerned. I took her on a couple already but then I see the worry in Nassa’s eyes too and remember how she loss her fallen mate. Sands take me but what am I to do with these two women!Â
Anyway, the trip I took was me choosing what to do with one of them. Nassa I still, I don’t know. The way she acts around me I, I just don’t know. But Kai? Kai I know. Kai I know the shape of the that storm. I know the waters and how I want to chart them. I just know that I want her and I want her for all my days that I have left in this tide cursed world. So I went and did something I’m not overly fond of which is shopping.Â
I admit it. I don’t no shit about buying something for a woman. I got one thing for one and she left my ass looking the fool so that was no example to live by, right? But tide take me but this feels right. Even when I stood there trying to understand what in the abyss I was looking out and deciding on. All of it. It felt right. I was meant to be there. I was meant to make this decision. I was meant to be with Kai. All of it. Sort of catches me off guard, right? Never felt so damned certain about anything in my entire existence than this. Nothing so firm in my mind. I even spoke to Nassa about it because she walked this path before and from the smile on that little one’s face she knew all what I meant. Course I also saw the water forming in her eyes and that doused me a bit.Â
But she reassured me the correct step I’m making on this path and that she knows Kai would want nothing less herself. It wasn’t that Kai had told her as such but she said it was all too apparent between Kai and I that this was the path necessary for us both to continue in this world.
So, well, wish me luck. Don’t know when I’ll get the chance to see if my shopping skills prove to be of any worth or if I will even know what to bloody say when the time comes. Not like I’m writing something down. I’m just going with the flow, right? Isn’t that how it is done?Â
Twelve take me if I fuck all this up and show no mercy on my soul because I have no damned clue what I’m doing but on my blood I’m doing it!Â
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Discord: Zhauric#0359
Ryuu Kaisoto: Mateus
Zhauric Bloodsworn (Currently Retired): Balmung
Discord: Zhauric#0359
Ryuu Kaisoto: Mateus
Zhauric Bloodsworn (Currently Retired): Balmung
