(07-04-2013, 11:16 PM)Nox Wrote: He chose this weapon because of a Dragoon from Ishgard. W'Dekan observed the man's feats and fell in love with the way he moved. The way he fought was beautiful, but every muscle's movement had a purpose. The Dragoon became the boy's role model,Â
...... /flex
Yeah, we are a badass bunch.
Some feedback,
I'm a little biased toward this story because I RP an Ishgard-born Dragoon who left to go join the Grand Companies in hopes of preventing the (then) coming Calamity. His whole issue is dealing with being a stranger in a strange land, and his strength is entirely based around his personal code of ethics and chivalry. So, that being said, I can't help but enjoy this little homage to us "old fashioned" Dragoons. I think your story has a lot of potential, and I like that W'Dekan is no one special. He's just a dude who decided he would rather hunt with a spear instead of his fists or a bow, and it kind of shaped his world through the role model he chose. As someone who RPs the classic chivalrous knight with a slight twist, I can definitely respect the choice to play a character who is a sellsword but also a kind-hearted individual. Frankly, I really like this, and I hope we get to interact in RP. It'd be a lot of fun.
I'm sure more skimming will allow me to find some things that you need to work on, but all-in-all you have a good start here.
