Quote:A very simple example, if I'd be honest about some person on this board, and say I, in my opinion, should just stop posting nonsense, it would cause the most basic effect of it: Defense. That defense will morph into offense and bounce off the first offender, me, and I got back into the defence again. This goes on and on, as too much honesty destroys things with the greatest ease. Sometimes it's just better to shut up, especially in a volatile community such as this one. If not, calculate the effect of what you say before you say it.
Yes, if you are honest but tactless in delivering your opinion, you may get a defensive reaction. 1) Clearly the 'being honest' here isn't the problem, it's how you communicate it, and 2) there is a concern for the other person's feelings - by this I mean that you've assumed that they would get defensive, and that if they do, it would be your fault, or specifically the fault of you being honest. If whoever you are speaking to reacts poorly to you being upfront with them, I do not think it's your fault, provided that you tried to say it without insulting them, but rather it's their inability to deal with unfavorable feedback. This is not a case against being open with people, but more like the worst case scenario used to justify a clear wrong, that being disingenuous is bad.
Quote:This kind of honesty can offend people, not saying it will, but there is a very high chance, especially from someone who already doesn't like you.
I am not sure who it would offend, other than two-faced snakes in the grass lol. And if someone recognizes themselves as one of those people, go ahead, get offended. I hate those type of people. You know, being friendly with you, saying they totally dig your storyline, and then turn around and talk smack about you behind your back. I really don't give a damn how they feel.
Note also that I am not saying they to mask the identity of individuals, although I know a few who have displayed this behavior, I am simply stating that there is a portion of the 'population' who are like that, as opposed to others who I feel may do the same things, but not because they get a thrill out of it, but because they think being honest with someone is rude/negative.
Quote:Too much honesty between people corrupts any bonds of friendship and trust, adding hostility and agressiveness. That kind of behavior in the community erodes links between players, and thus diminishes our ability to play with each other.
Again, I think you're using the worst-case scenario, when someone is honest but clearly has trouble communicating and keeping the conversation civil. This isn't because honesty in itself is a bad thing. There is no too much or too little honesty. It's either, you're up front with someone, or you're not.
Quote:It can't hurt to try and keep it to yourself.While I agree that in the ideal world, this might be the case, usually people don't keep things to themselves. That's how completely off-base rumors spread. You have a group of people who chose not to bring in the person they are talking about so that they can defend themselves, and talk about them to others, who may not even have interacted with said person, then they get some ideas with regards to someone they've never even met. Personally I get a lot this, random comments/critiques about my character from someone I often don't know/never RPed with. And their ideas of Oskar are so far off base that it's like... hmm I wonder who told them this, and why someone in this long line of the rumor mill just not sent me a PM, so that I can speak for myself. Some people would rather talk s*** behind someones back and never bother to check up on their assumptions. /shrug And when someone breaks out of the mold and actually RPs with me, I often get, "Wow... this isn't what I expected, I thought you/Oskar was a complete <whatever negative word>" lol
That to me is pretty much an illness of this community. To ignore it is to foster it. I am not saying that this is a sole reason why there are rifts between people, but it IS a reason that wasn't brought up in a public discussion.
I’m the bullies you hate, that you became.
