Poe's Journal Entry
S’anhu found me on the ship. I was busy preparing for what lay ahead. I was surprised, he asked me to come along with him to the guild. I should have declined, my grip on my emotions were slipping. But how could I tell him I was mess, that I would be helpful?So I said nothing and we went to the guild. And I lost my cool…S’anhu even pointed that out. He ended up doing most of the talking, even though the Lalafell had spoken to me once or twice. Just seeing that Lalafell’s face, my anger was boiling up inside me. I just…I was ready to be hasty and ruin the whole thing. We learned we could expel Shura from Ace if Shura thought Ace wouldn’t make it. Trap her in some special crystal. We almost left without getting information about that. Thankfully S’anhu wasn’t as hotheaded as I was being. I tried…weakly to explain why I was having these outbursts; that I had lost too many already and I couldn’t lose Ace as well. I doubt I made much sense and S’anhu must think I am completely incompetent now under pressure.
I had to make it up somehow, but S’anhu clearly thought he should go get the crystal…and what? I would sit by and continue to not be helpful? I promised Ace, I couldn’t do that. So I insisted I go get the crystal. I don’t want to be at odds with S’anhu, but I can tell he doesn’t think I can handle this.
It was a short trek out to where we had been told to get the crystal. It was weird, the glow of the crystals jutting up out of the ground. The wind was whipping loudly in my ears. I am not sure if I just freaked myself out…I felt like someone or something was watching. I had checked the area, even stopped to briefly, focusing on sensing other’s emotional charge in the aether flow. Bad idea, the very energy of the crystals overwhelmed me. My head is still pulsing with it, though the pain has subsided. Lan-I-Mata had told me until I had fully grasped the power and could use it with ease, pain would continue to be part of it. Regardless, I have the crystal.
I tucked it away safe, it will be ready when we go to Ace….well, not me. Stupid aether…I can’t even be there when this happens for fear of Shura jumping to me. I decided to head off to bed, running into Keldion. I remembered what Rose had said, he was being unusually nice. I suppose she was right. Keldion asked me how Daevien was….how was I supposed to answer that? I just told him Daevien had business in Gridania and would be back soon. Keldion…did not push, though I am sure he knew there was a bit more. He simply offered his assistance if I needed anything. You know what…it seemed like he truly meant it….
