Poe's Journal Entry
The writing appears a bit sloppy, clearly the writer has a few drinks. Blots of ink are scattered about the page, some smudging. Obvious the author wanted to get everything out in a hurry…Honey wheat beer….oh my head spins. What an…odd night? It started off simple enough. I had Rose’s gift, the journal. I wanted to give it to her. I met quickly with Relan, he thanked me for bailing Davin out. Told him it was fine. Old man brought me some fine smoke he had imported over. After a thick cigar of that, I caved and started drinking. I just don’t want to feel pain anymore…I would rather be numb…
Got a call over the pearl, I ended up telling everyone I was at the Missing Member. I didn’t expect it to turn into such a gathering….though I am thankful in a way. Ace showed up, we started discussing flower ideas, Ryillin arrived and there was a bit of banter about romance. I don’t know much about romance, but I think as long as it is evident someone is trying….isn’t that romantic enough?
Ruhan, Rose, Ami, S’anhu…they all arrived. The details are still a bit fuzzy in my head. Ruhan had this book, a book I am not so sure he should have. I was trying to discuss details of drinks Ami had brought over…and suddenly Ruhan and Ry! The fight. S’anhu and Rose jumped to help and I quickly dragged Ami outside. Ace had already grabbed Ry, helping him out of the way.
And Ry - stubborn! His jaw had been broken along with his wrist. I didn’t want to heal his jaw first in fear the fight would escalate again from words. Ry insisted, but by the time I mended him Ace had already cast sleep over Ruhan. Poor Ami, you should have seen her eyes…much like how I looked, I am sure. I quickly hugged her. This crew…this is my family. Perhaps everything that has happened recently….I don’t want any of them to wonder if I cared for them. I need them to know I do…and they need to every day.
I was going to check on Ry and then Rose, yelling about his back. Stubborn man! The spikes from his staff had gone into his back when thrown through the doors. ((Or against the doors…who knows with those magical things ^^)) I did my best to patch him quickly. He seemed….irritated. I know he had just been attacked, but…. His robe will likely be ruined. He seemed ok with me trying to patch him up though.
Then Ruhan rushed Ry again once Ruhan woke up. I did the only thing that came to mind, get between him and Ry. But Ruhan surprised me…offered an apology. He headed off, though I was convinced he was not feeling one hundred percent. He seemed upset by what happened still…or ashamed? I am not sure.
Ace pulled me aside to speak. He seemed to suggest I don’t react when S’anhu is having a hard time. I told Ace I would keep my smile on my face. And then…well, Ace asked about how to make things up to Rose. Flowers, chocolates? I had to think about it, but you see….Rose doesn’t want to be treated like she is breakable. She seems wary of polite mannerisms some men offer women. So I started thinking about adventure. Suggested they take a trip some where. Ace didn’t seem so sure, but I insisted and I still think I am right. Rose only knows that they can argue…but what if they didn’t for just a bit? I think Rose would see the wonderful side of Ace the rest of us do. Ry came out, passing by again. Off to do more studying. He needs to learn to have some fun…but after his injuries I didn’t expect he would go study….stubborn.
Ace and I went back in and I started ordering drinks of the Honey wheat beer. Gross, thick and strong. Had plenty of bottles delivered to the table. S’anhu and Ami were drinking heavily. Even Rose enjoyed some. Ace tried to stop S’anhu from drinking so much. I don’t recall it all…I was so warm inside, at some peace. I gave Rose her journal…I was so happy and she seemed surprised by the gift. Maybe she has never written stuff down before. S’anhu had marched out to the balcony at this point and I had to hide my frown. I worry about him, a lot actually.
I told Rose I would be back to the room shortly. Ace was trying to make sure Ami would be ok and Ami wandered off. Did you know she sometimes sleeps in trees? I am rather impressed, I have slept in a tree or two myself, didn’t expect it from a Seeker though.
Oh! Speaking of Keepers and Seekers. Stupid huntress….reminded me so much of Mota, the belittling talk. I refused to even acknowledge this female.
I went out to see S’anhu, Ace passing me and saying he was all mine. But I had heard what S’anhu said as I walked out…didn’t seem he wanted company or anyone around. He smiled at me…was that a ‘see, I told you’ smile? I backpeddled, wasn’t going to drink anymore but went to the bar. Asked for a mixed drink, something strong. S’anhu confuses me, one moment I think we will talk and the next I hear him saying these things…
I heard Keldion over the pearl…and echoing off the wall. Kel was here?! Snuck by me while I was at the bar. I went out and Keldion was trying to get S’anhu to stand up. Kel announced he was headed back to the Den. I probably would have followed but I needed to make sure S’anhu was ok.
S’anhu did surprise me, moved to lean against the stone wall. I was worried he would have fallen through the rope railing. Kel left. This night was turning into a huge mess. I decided to not give S’anhu the option, planting myself in front of him and sitting. The alcohol was pulsing through my veins. How can one feel so warm and fuzzy but confused? Tried to speak, he seemed so hurt? Shut down maybe? I grabbed him. I didn’t ask if I could hug him and part of me is worried. I feel at ease hugging females…and I hug Ace, cause it’s Ace. But was it ok to hug S’anhu? But he was warm, he held me tightly for a moment. I swear I could almost feel his heart beat. I guess it made me skittish and I pulled back. Something in his expression. I wanted to comfort him. I grabbed one of his hands with mine, to let him know I was there. His hand?! He seemed to freeze and I let his hand go. What happened, S’anhu? I couldn’t even ask, I felt for a brief moment we had some simple understanding and I wasn’t going to mess that up by asking what had happened to his hand. I realized how drunk I was…how much I had needed that hug and I couldn’t say that, I knew I would be foolish if I stayed any longer. I quickly pulled back, got ready to leave. And I told him I was happy he is just the way he is. Ridiculous, I don’t even know why I was talking at this point. I needed space, what was going on?
I rushed here to the inn. I had to write this down, I don’t want to forget any of it and if I slept first…I would have….
