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Poe’s Journal Entry
I practiced what I preached this evening. I am sure part of Lan-I-Mata is cringing now. Seriously….
Let me start from the beginning. Sae called us together for a gathering…we were to get paid. But numbers weren’t adding up to me. I knew how much we sold the amulet for, the amount was off. As more of us gathered, confusion continued to spread. An error…this wasn’t our money. It was Ace’s? Ace?! We all started sputtering, how could we take it?
Kora arrived with the male Eugene behind her. He can be…irritating, heard and seen him out and about with ladies. Kora stated he was wanted alive by the Maelstrom. Interesting she didn’t ask for help then to take care of the situation. Instead just sat there….I suppose I have a different idea of work when given a target…
Two other females were hanging around as well, Kora immediately started apologizing for us….what? Clearly her and I don’t see eye to eye when it comes to interacting with others. I checked in with Ry. He was covered in bandages, moving slowly. But he was alive. After Rose talked to Ace, we moved the mixed-up bags of gil back to Limsa.
Gathered out at the point, chatting and banter continued. Spoke with a highlander, Laura…seemed she had a bit of a problem she wanted to fix…involving love. I swear Menphina tests my sanity. I didn’t want to hear anything about hearts, emotions, the whole lot of it. But we banded together, discussed it. All I could keep insisting was for the parties involved to be honest. Doesn’t that clear up confusions?
The female thanked us and headed out. Ace, Kora, Rose…they all soon left. Ryillin had asked me earlier about a Miqo’te with similar features. I knew it was a matter of time before Mota showed up, asking questions. Relan had warned me enough already, I have known she has been around.
Mota…up to no good. Trying to claim Ry as her own. He seemed a bit worried about it, just looking to avoid the issue. He started to go on, had an idea, but he didn’t think I would go for it. S’anhu was standing there, looked like he wanted to run away. He almost did, but I pointed out that Ry might need a male opinion on things as well.
Then Ry suggested it. A lock of my hair, so my scent was around him. It is true, it would surely flush Mota out, she wouldn’t…well, I hope she wouldn’t bother him more if we went through with this idea. But then Ry also said we would have to…act in such ways in public. I was a bit confused, like, dinner, holding hands? I was trying to get clarity of the matter, S’anhu just withdrawing further. Ry then insisted it was a foolish idea, it would ruin chances for me. Chances for what? Part of me wanted to rise to the challenge. Of course I could make it appear like we were….in love. Right? I even grabbed his hand to show him I could play the part. But…I did insist I needed a night to think it all over. I need to speak to Rose about this….perhaps even Ace. They wouldn’t lead me astray. And then Ryillin stated he didn’t know anything about romance…feelings. Never been in love? I suppose I am not sure I have either, but I can imagine what it is like. Daevien and I didn’t speak of our feelings; by now I have accepted our feelings were not one in the same. I was smitten…but is that love? My mind was racing.
But Ry kept shaking his head and stating no. He wasn’t ruining prospects for me, that he would find another way to get Mota to leave him alone.He even asked S’anhu to back him….
And S’anhu said the idea might work.
Well…
Then Ry leaned, whispered into my ear what were my feelings for S’anhu. I remember looking up at S’anhu, realizing that he thought Ry’s idea would work, he said so himself…
But I was honest, I had feelings for S’anhu. Ry quickly shut down, dropped my hand and moved to leave. I had hurt him…I…I just wanted to be honest. Wasn’t that the lesson, what we all had discussed with the highlander, Laura? He left…I insisted I was coming to find him after a night to think on it. He…did not say much.
S’anhu still stood there, he had heard part of the whispering. He asked, I guess I blurted out Ry asked me what my feelings were…to S’anhu. And so S’anhu asked what I had said. I told him he knew, he had to. After horribly bombing my one attempt at flirting with him, yes, I mean, I haven’t been all over him…I have tried to be there for S’anhu, as a friend first and push those…those other feelings aside.
And S’anhu turned and stared out over the ocean. I was confused, why was this even a discussion? In our confusion, still trying to settle this uncomfortable moment, yes, I said it in simple terms. “I told him yes.†There, I told Ryillin, yes I had feelings for S’anhu. And now S’anhu knew. The few moments after, I suppose the horror of the whole thing erupted inside of me. I was flustered and said I was leaving.
S’anhu said my name but then stopped, agreeing that it was best I go. I walked slowly back to the inn. Honesty hurts…
