((After breaking up with her, Astrid left this letter to Alice before leaving for Coerthas.))
My Dearest Alice,
Let me start by saying what is most important. I love you, Alice. With all of my heart.
I know that my actions have said anything but in your mind, but my heart will always be yours. Even if I never see you again, even if you find someone else, even if whatever affection you had for me darkens and fades into utter hatred… I shall continue to love you forever.
Why did I leave? Your life comes before all else in terms of my priorities. Even before my own. Confident that my outbursts of rage were worsening and could not be contained, I grew worried that I would cause you physical harm. I do not know when, where, or why I might snap. I have already hurt two people that are dear to me...
You are different, however. You are, quite literally, my everything. I could not bare it if I spilled any amount of your blood. The best way I could prevent this scenario from ever happening was to stay away from you. I had to leave. I did not feel comfortable being in your proximity if I had no way of knowing when I might go insane.
Knowing this, please do not blame yourself. I have never been angry with you. You have only improved my life, and now that I have forcefully ripped you from it... I will worsen as a person. Remember when I told you that we do not complete one another? That instead, we made each other better? Without you, I am worse than being incomplete. I am nothing.
Will you open this letter right after you wake up? Will you open it days or weeks from now? Or perhaps in years? Maybe never. Should you forever leave it sealed, that is alright. I completely understand your decision to never read it. You must be thinking, ‘this person is horrible for breaking my heart and leaving me all alone’. Why should you read this, right? Why should you waste your time with the words of a woman who made you weep so deeply?
However, I needed to write this letter. On the off chance that you may actually read it. To assure myself that I did not leave without conveying my honest feelings. To hopefully convince you that my intentions were nothing but good. But if you never forgive me for what I have done for the rest of your life, that is fine. I understand. I do not deserve to be forgiven.
Please take care of yourself, my darling. I love you more than you could possibly ever know.
I’m very sorry,
Astrid
