For a moment, there was shock. Then her expression crumpled.
Zhi didn't have much time to think. It wouldn't make sense in the situation if she stared at her feet for the next several minutes -- but she had to think. Because, it was becoming obvious, she'd screwed up. It was true that she'd done some deep digging to find out what she had about Lalataru, but she'd thought that was due to the lack of interest in him as a potential player now. She'd not come across any evidence that he'd tried to squash the rumors; if anything she thought he'd laugh her off, perhaps offer her some advice, and then she could move on from there. She should have caught it earlier, should have held on to her hard-won knowledge -- should have rutting started up the waterworks to feel him out. Instead, she'd taken a risk before she should have, and now look at where they were. Obvious to anyone with eyes that the reason she'd had to dig so deep wasn't because he'd fallen out of the loop. There was something else to it, and it spelled out "not good" to her situation.
Time was up. Her priority had to shift to getting out alive.
"I-it's jes somethin' I heard when I was hidin' out after a. . .after I nipped coin off a mark, th-that not all them who worked at th'Gate were clean." She concentrated on her memories, picking one that continually scoured her with shame. She needed to blush, and she needed it fast. "So I started -- I started askin' questions, cuz I t-thought -- I wanted to know so I -- I hadda --" She broke off, freezing in place. Focus. Her tail curled around her leg, and she felt the beginning prickle of a flush up her neck and cheeks. Rather than look at the ground, she looked away. She clenched her teeth for a moment, her fingers digging into her arms as she resumed hugging herself. "I d-don't wanna talk 'bout it. I-if I heard wrong --" her cheeks got hotter. "I-I don't wanna talk 'bout it." Her voice had gone a little higher, and it quavered.
Zhi didn't have much time to think. It wouldn't make sense in the situation if she stared at her feet for the next several minutes -- but she had to think. Because, it was becoming obvious, she'd screwed up. It was true that she'd done some deep digging to find out what she had about Lalataru, but she'd thought that was due to the lack of interest in him as a potential player now. She'd not come across any evidence that he'd tried to squash the rumors; if anything she thought he'd laugh her off, perhaps offer her some advice, and then she could move on from there. She should have caught it earlier, should have held on to her hard-won knowledge -- should have rutting started up the waterworks to feel him out. Instead, she'd taken a risk before she should have, and now look at where they were. Obvious to anyone with eyes that the reason she'd had to dig so deep wasn't because he'd fallen out of the loop. There was something else to it, and it spelled out "not good" to her situation.
Time was up. Her priority had to shift to getting out alive.
"I-it's jes somethin' I heard when I was hidin' out after a. . .after I nipped coin off a mark, th-that not all them who worked at th'Gate were clean." She concentrated on her memories, picking one that continually scoured her with shame. She needed to blush, and she needed it fast. "So I started -- I started askin' questions, cuz I t-thought -- I wanted to know so I -- I hadda --" She broke off, freezing in place. Focus. Her tail curled around her leg, and she felt the beginning prickle of a flush up her neck and cheeks. Rather than look at the ground, she looked away. She clenched her teeth for a moment, her fingers digging into her arms as she resumed hugging herself. "I d-don't wanna talk 'bout it. I-if I heard wrong --" her cheeks got hotter. "I-I don't wanna talk 'bout it." Her voice had gone a little higher, and it quavered.
