The fourteenth sun of the third umbral moon
Dear Diary,
My meditation came to an abrupt end recently. The man who returned me to the ways of using Aether has been more difficult to find than I'd hoped. The trail, oddly enough led me to Limsa Lominsa, for a meeting I had long forgotten I'd made obligation to attend. The Piquant Pumpkin opened it's doors today, though I admit I was a tad bit late. The area was booming, I could hear it from the most distant of docks. Though I did not know it's location it was easy to follow the crowds. I found myself forgetting why I had come as my previous obligation came rushing back. I knew inside would be a girl I had not seen since I started my meditation. It has been suns, weeks even since I've seen her. Anticipation swelled and minutes turned into bells.
Eudalie, wearing mask and uniform was still too obvious to see. Though I must admit, that uniform... gave her an appeal I'd scarcely noticed in her modest adventuring robes. It was a brief greeting at first, I'd ordered some cookies and left her to work. Nesi on the other hand, a woman who had been so perturbed by my nudity that she weaved a shirt just for me in the span of our first meeting, was someone I did not recognize until the mask came off later in the evening.Â
I met a woman today, Meriel, a name that was difficult today. She was talking to herself, trying to psyche herself up, though admittedly she could have been mistaken to be far less, correct in the head by the wrong passerby.Â
I decided a cookie and some pep would aid her in becoming a 'socialite'. Little did I know the night would end with many more meetings, a gathering of familiar faces. It was more than I had expected, in fact I was proud of Eudalie for holding such a career, and amazed that the business was already booming. It reminded me of the meeting I was supposed to set up. Though the intentions I had might have wounded this business had I succeeded. Still, I will try again.Â
While I wasted my time chomping on cookies and trying to teach my new friend the ways of ridiculously engaging others, I noticed Eudalie was, as usual being flocked by men. I look back at previous pages and realize, it bothers me. But I have no right to be bothered, though no doubt I'm just one of many being pestered by these strange... emotions. I'm not stupid, I know what it is, but something this small needs to be nipped in the bud. Still, I crushed more cookies than I ate thanks to that. It frustrates me that this of all things is where I stumble. I can't stand it, but I also can't stand being just another one in the crowd. Is there satisfaction to winning...? Do others have it easy? I'm telling you diary, being around her has done something severely unpleasant to me. I... remember who I was before the attack. What had started as eager anticipation, festered.
My hand trembled, and I couldn't hide it. The attack is fresh in my mind now. I tried to hide it, like I hid my brooding. Rivienne was getting along rather well with Thaarus, a kind Elezen of many talents who may as well be the origin of sophistication. I can tell my pointing it out wasn't appreciated, someone he called 'dove' had arrived. I don't know their relationship, but I needed to change the subject from my hand. My seal, though the man I must call 'master' broke it, it seems there was a safeguard, a trap. It's doing things to me, and I can't hide it anymore. Meditating isn't fixing it, and I recall his teachings of not gaining power by downing Aether, unlike the Ossuary.Â
I'm being plighted by the things I have no control over. By stupid little things I have nothing to do with. I need to sink myself into this, I need to find David, I need to speak to my contact. I need to forget about what ails me and try to gain back some of that bravado I'd once possessed before those damn bastards decided to curse instead of kill me!
I wonder if things could have been different if I'd taken the opportunity that had once been presented, instead of letting HIM drag me back into his abyss. Even now, my ha  n d trem bles and t h e se words a r e b eing sc ri b bled alo  n g th e pa ge.Â
[sup][The next line is dark, obviously written with intense pressure and a slow hand][/sup]
I wonder if I'll be able to read some of this later.
Dear Diary,
My meditation came to an abrupt end recently. The man who returned me to the ways of using Aether has been more difficult to find than I'd hoped. The trail, oddly enough led me to Limsa Lominsa, for a meeting I had long forgotten I'd made obligation to attend. The Piquant Pumpkin opened it's doors today, though I admit I was a tad bit late. The area was booming, I could hear it from the most distant of docks. Though I did not know it's location it was easy to follow the crowds. I found myself forgetting why I had come as my previous obligation came rushing back. I knew inside would be a girl I had not seen since I started my meditation. It has been suns, weeks even since I've seen her. Anticipation swelled and minutes turned into bells.
Eudalie, wearing mask and uniform was still too obvious to see. Though I must admit, that uniform... gave her an appeal I'd scarcely noticed in her modest adventuring robes. It was a brief greeting at first, I'd ordered some cookies and left her to work. Nesi on the other hand, a woman who had been so perturbed by my nudity that she weaved a shirt just for me in the span of our first meeting, was someone I did not recognize until the mask came off later in the evening.Â
I met a woman today, Meriel, a name that was difficult today. She was talking to herself, trying to psyche herself up, though admittedly she could have been mistaken to be far less, correct in the head by the wrong passerby.Â
I decided a cookie and some pep would aid her in becoming a 'socialite'. Little did I know the night would end with many more meetings, a gathering of familiar faces. It was more than I had expected, in fact I was proud of Eudalie for holding such a career, and amazed that the business was already booming. It reminded me of the meeting I was supposed to set up. Though the intentions I had might have wounded this business had I succeeded. Still, I will try again.Â
While I wasted my time chomping on cookies and trying to teach my new friend the ways of ridiculously engaging others, I noticed Eudalie was, as usual being flocked by men. I look back at previous pages and realize, it bothers me. But I have no right to be bothered, though no doubt I'm just one of many being pestered by these strange... emotions. I'm not stupid, I know what it is, but something this small needs to be nipped in the bud. Still, I crushed more cookies than I ate thanks to that. It frustrates me that this of all things is where I stumble. I can't stand it, but I also can't stand being just another one in the crowd. Is there satisfaction to winning...? Do others have it easy? I'm telling you diary, being around her has done something severely unpleasant to me. I... remember who I was before the attack. What had started as eager anticipation, festered.
My hand trembled, and I couldn't hide it. The attack is fresh in my mind now. I tried to hide it, like I hid my brooding. Rivienne was getting along rather well with Thaarus, a kind Elezen of many talents who may as well be the origin of sophistication. I can tell my pointing it out wasn't appreciated, someone he called 'dove' had arrived. I don't know their relationship, but I needed to change the subject from my hand. My seal, though the man I must call 'master' broke it, it seems there was a safeguard, a trap. It's doing things to me, and I can't hide it anymore. Meditating isn't fixing it, and I recall his teachings of not gaining power by downing Aether, unlike the Ossuary.Â
I'm being plighted by the things I have no control over. By stupid little things I have nothing to do with. I need to sink myself into this, I need to find David, I need to speak to my contact. I need to forget about what ails me and try to gain back some of that bravado I'd once possessed before those damn bastards decided to curse instead of kill me!
I wonder if things could have been different if I'd taken the opportunity that had once been presented, instead of letting HIM drag me back into his abyss. Even now, my ha  n d trem bles and t h e se words a r e b eing sc ri b bled alo  n g th e pa ge.Â
[sup][The next line is dark, obviously written with intense pressure and a slow hand][/sup]
I wonder if I'll be able to read some of this later.
