The hunger wasn't an issue, he could handle the hunger. The sleep deprivation was troubling due to his body threatening to give out on him as it had when he was working on his armor, but he assured himself he would be more vigilant. What was causing his willpower to erode, however, was the dehydration. Ul'dah was too hot and his work had been too demanding and he couldn't ignore the dryness of his throat and mouth. He was dimly aware it had been four grueling days on little rest and no food. More than a few times a small voice from the rational part of his mind urged him to reconsider his meaningless stand but the response was always the same: He had failed to protect either of them, so he didn't deserve it.
Warren kept his willpower reinforced by insisting he would allow himself rest when Sei was back safe and Howl was brought home. That pact with himself had been sworn days ago and while the realization that he wouldn't be saving either party had been knocking from the start, it was only now that he had cornered himself in his room that he had to consider it.
It's been days. They didn't turn up at any camp and there were no reports of two miqo'te being found frozen in the snow. They had no supplies, no warm clothing, they had nothing to keep themselves alive. Victory is hurt because you pushed him too far. You are alone, with no ability to change any of these circumstances. You're killing yourself trying to refuse that.
It hurt him to have to stare the facts in the eyes. The darker part of himself reminded him this was nothing new and that he had never been able to protect anyone, so he shouldn't be so surprised.
Concentrate. You can't save them, but you're still here. You're alive. They wouldn't want you to run yourself into the ground like this. Pick yourself up for them. You owe it to them.
Warren was a captive to his own determination, but that resonated. He didn't feel he deserved food or water or shelter but he knew how they would have reacted if they could have known that. She would have been insulted and turned away, his burden apparent. He would have challenged Warren and argued against it, shining a light on his darker thoughts.
Stop inconveniencing her. Stop disappointing him. You know what you have to do. You don't get to give up when no one else can see it through.
He allowed himself the chance to bathe. No tubs, no hot water. He worked out of a bucket like when he was still growing up in the caravan, working with a clean cloth and trying to make as small a mess as possible while indoors. He allowed himself to eat the small meal that had appeared in his room bells and bells ago. He allowed himself to rest. There were people who would need to know what happened, and Warren was the only one who could undertake that task. Someone had to tell the world they were dead.
Warren kept his willpower reinforced by insisting he would allow himself rest when Sei was back safe and Howl was brought home. That pact with himself had been sworn days ago and while the realization that he wouldn't be saving either party had been knocking from the start, it was only now that he had cornered himself in his room that he had to consider it.
It's been days. They didn't turn up at any camp and there were no reports of two miqo'te being found frozen in the snow. They had no supplies, no warm clothing, they had nothing to keep themselves alive. Victory is hurt because you pushed him too far. You are alone, with no ability to change any of these circumstances. You're killing yourself trying to refuse that.
It hurt him to have to stare the facts in the eyes. The darker part of himself reminded him this was nothing new and that he had never been able to protect anyone, so he shouldn't be so surprised.
Concentrate. You can't save them, but you're still here. You're alive. They wouldn't want you to run yourself into the ground like this. Pick yourself up for them. You owe it to them.
Warren was a captive to his own determination, but that resonated. He didn't feel he deserved food or water or shelter but he knew how they would have reacted if they could have known that. She would have been insulted and turned away, his burden apparent. He would have challenged Warren and argued against it, shining a light on his darker thoughts.
Stop inconveniencing her. Stop disappointing him. You know what you have to do. You don't get to give up when no one else can see it through.
He allowed himself the chance to bathe. No tubs, no hot water. He worked out of a bucket like when he was still growing up in the caravan, working with a clean cloth and trying to make as small a mess as possible while indoors. He allowed himself to eat the small meal that had appeared in his room bells and bells ago. He allowed himself to rest. There were people who would need to know what happened, and Warren was the only one who could undertake that task. Someone had to tell the world they were dead.
![[Image: yEROfKO.png]](http://i.imgur.com/yEROfKO.png)
