Ah, romance RP. It's a thing that I don't avoid but I do not actively look for either.
Here's the thing about romance rp: It can be a great and wonderful thing from a character development stand point. It can be full of drama and intrigue and interesting and fun and teach you all kinds of things about your character. It's always interesting when your character begins to click with someone, especially when you were rather sure they wouldn't click with anyone (I rolled Armi as so awkward I honestly didn't think anyone would be interested).
The problem is many MANY people think it means more than just part of the narrative. Many RPers are only in it to find a romance partner and those people are extremely obvious if you know what to look for. Armi has been in two relationships, both took MONTHS of RP to even see the light of day. The first one from September to November, then the current from February to JULY. MY character doesn't fall easily and it can take a looonnngg time for anything to happen, most of the time those looking for RP romance only will get huffy at me for being slow and then move on.
Honestly I find this like most things, if you think about it. There are players out there who only care about how bad ass their character is and tend to powergame, there are players who only care that their character is winning and will metagame, and then there are players who only care that their characters are in a relationship and get all creepy. These are all people who need some kind of wish fulfilment in RP and are generally types to avoid.
I've been apart of IC relationship drama twice over the ten years I've done rp in MMOs, so it doesn't happen OFTEN to me, but even with me being careful it still happens. One person was convinced my character had a crush on hers and despite me telling her she didn't, she decided I was lying and it turned into a huge drama thing. The other -I- got mad about being lied to OOCly about certain things that I thought were okay and it turned into a whole thing. But it happens. My character has been "stalked" before, but I'm pretty blunt generally (As some of you have seen) and can put it bed fairly easily. If things make me uncomfortable I am really quick to say so.
I'm engaged irl, romance IC means nothing to me OOC. My character is not me and their character is not them. I've been fortunate to have rp partners who agree and therefore drama has been relatively low.
Because of that, I'm not going to stop my character if she has chemistry with someone. I think it's interesting to explore, after a long time has passed of course. None of my character fall for people easily, this is intentional on my part, but if something is happening over the months they know each other I'm okay with letting it progress - as long as I know the player of the other character keeps it IC. None of this shit is real. I used to act all the time, and in a lot of those plays you have to act like your in love - so maybe it's easier for me to fake it?
On the subject of why people talk about it so much ICly: because people talk about it ALL THE TIME in real life. When I'm around my friends, every conversation will inevitably go to the gutter or has people flirting with each other in a joking manner. It's just what humans do - we talk about relationships and sex. I mean, what are we supposed to talk about in social situations if not things that are easy to talk about? I'm certainly not going to have Armi talk about the time she was stabbed by a Garlean or almost killed by her friend, or anything else that happened to her. Conversations in bars are supposed to be light, and sex is a light topic. Armi doesn't think so, but she generally just talks about Tea or her plants.
We talk about it in RP because we talk about it IRL. Nothing much more too it. It also doesn't mean that's all they talk about. I'm sure there are people whose whole lives revolve around it, but this is true of people in IRL as well.
Here's the thing about romance rp: It can be a great and wonderful thing from a character development stand point. It can be full of drama and intrigue and interesting and fun and teach you all kinds of things about your character. It's always interesting when your character begins to click with someone, especially when you were rather sure they wouldn't click with anyone (I rolled Armi as so awkward I honestly didn't think anyone would be interested).
The problem is many MANY people think it means more than just part of the narrative. Many RPers are only in it to find a romance partner and those people are extremely obvious if you know what to look for. Armi has been in two relationships, both took MONTHS of RP to even see the light of day. The first one from September to November, then the current from February to JULY. MY character doesn't fall easily and it can take a looonnngg time for anything to happen, most of the time those looking for RP romance only will get huffy at me for being slow and then move on.
Honestly I find this like most things, if you think about it. There are players out there who only care about how bad ass their character is and tend to powergame, there are players who only care that their character is winning and will metagame, and then there are players who only care that their characters are in a relationship and get all creepy. These are all people who need some kind of wish fulfilment in RP and are generally types to avoid.
I've been apart of IC relationship drama twice over the ten years I've done rp in MMOs, so it doesn't happen OFTEN to me, but even with me being careful it still happens. One person was convinced my character had a crush on hers and despite me telling her she didn't, she decided I was lying and it turned into a huge drama thing. The other -I- got mad about being lied to OOCly about certain things that I thought were okay and it turned into a whole thing. But it happens. My character has been "stalked" before, but I'm pretty blunt generally (As some of you have seen) and can put it bed fairly easily. If things make me uncomfortable I am really quick to say so.
I'm engaged irl, romance IC means nothing to me OOC. My character is not me and their character is not them. I've been fortunate to have rp partners who agree and therefore drama has been relatively low.
Because of that, I'm not going to stop my character if she has chemistry with someone. I think it's interesting to explore, after a long time has passed of course. None of my character fall for people easily, this is intentional on my part, but if something is happening over the months they know each other I'm okay with letting it progress - as long as I know the player of the other character keeps it IC. None of this shit is real. I used to act all the time, and in a lot of those plays you have to act like your in love - so maybe it's easier for me to fake it?
On the subject of why people talk about it so much ICly: because people talk about it ALL THE TIME in real life. When I'm around my friends, every conversation will inevitably go to the gutter or has people flirting with each other in a joking manner. It's just what humans do - we talk about relationships and sex. I mean, what are we supposed to talk about in social situations if not things that are easy to talk about? I'm certainly not going to have Armi talk about the time she was stabbed by a Garlean or almost killed by her friend, or anything else that happened to her. Conversations in bars are supposed to be light, and sex is a light topic. Armi doesn't think so, but she generally just talks about Tea or her plants.
We talk about it in RP because we talk about it IRL. Nothing much more too it. It also doesn't mean that's all they talk about. I'm sure there are people whose whole lives revolve around it, but this is true of people in IRL as well.
![[Image: tumblr_n92fndN0EH1rujdn8o1_500.gif]](https://33.media.tumblr.com/449e130ac31106ec8aeda3d0f121d76b/tumblr_n92fndN0EH1rujdn8o1_500.gif)
