I have, in the past, had a couple of players push romance on my characters quite heavily - not this character, because have you seen him? - and in at least one instance, the person was explicitly doing so because they were lacking a specific kind of emotional connection outside of the game, and said as much. It's not fun, it can lead to quite a bit of guilt and hurt feelings, and the OP shouldn't just wait for the stalker to leave her alone, but actively discourage it.
That said, I think all RP romance is "pushed" to some degree. I'm actually highly suspicious of the notion that it can happen naturally. How long that push may take can vary greatly, of course, whether it be a months-long development or damn-near-instantaneous based on the desires of the players involved. But I think it does require a conscious effort on the part of the players to some degree. What differs between that and the kind of thing the OP is describing is whether or not that push is desirable or not, and whether both parties consent to it - for any number of different reasons.
To be clear, I'm not suggesting there is no IC/OOC divide at all in saying this, and that all RP romance is rooted in purely OOC motives, but I do think there's a choice on the part of the player rather than the character. Some of the people I have turned down for RP romance in the past would have, on a purely IC level, have fit the criteria that my character found attractive; nevertheless, I turned them down because I felt something was off about the player, or because I simply didn't like the player's RP aesthetic.Â
Conversely, there are characters that would not have been automatically attractive to mine based on the criteria I had laid out for them initially (which sounds clinical, but I just mean that there was a general notion of "this is what the character likes, this is what they don't"); however, because the player's writing style clicked well with mine or the player had a particularly healthy perspective on playing that made it seem like they would playing a romance with them would result in interesting stories. So, with some OOC communication and consent, things were nudged in that direction accordingly.
I feel like I'm losing track of my point, which I admit is largely pedantic. My claim here is that RP romance doesn't really happen "naturally," as if it were an organic development. At best, I think it happens unexpectedly, when you encounter a character with qualities appealing to yours and a player you are comfortable playing with. But there's always a conscious choice on the part of the player to go in that direction.
That said, I think all RP romance is "pushed" to some degree. I'm actually highly suspicious of the notion that it can happen naturally. How long that push may take can vary greatly, of course, whether it be a months-long development or damn-near-instantaneous based on the desires of the players involved. But I think it does require a conscious effort on the part of the players to some degree. What differs between that and the kind of thing the OP is describing is whether or not that push is desirable or not, and whether both parties consent to it - for any number of different reasons.
To be clear, I'm not suggesting there is no IC/OOC divide at all in saying this, and that all RP romance is rooted in purely OOC motives, but I do think there's a choice on the part of the player rather than the character. Some of the people I have turned down for RP romance in the past would have, on a purely IC level, have fit the criteria that my character found attractive; nevertheless, I turned them down because I felt something was off about the player, or because I simply didn't like the player's RP aesthetic.Â
Conversely, there are characters that would not have been automatically attractive to mine based on the criteria I had laid out for them initially (which sounds clinical, but I just mean that there was a general notion of "this is what the character likes, this is what they don't"); however, because the player's writing style clicked well with mine or the player had a particularly healthy perspective on playing that made it seem like they would playing a romance with them would result in interesting stories. So, with some OOC communication and consent, things were nudged in that direction accordingly.
I feel like I'm losing track of my point, which I admit is largely pedantic. My claim here is that RP romance doesn't really happen "naturally," as if it were an organic development. At best, I think it happens unexpectedly, when you encounter a character with qualities appealing to yours and a player you are comfortable playing with. But there's always a conscious choice on the part of the player to go in that direction.
Verad Bellveil's Profile | The Case of the Ransacked Rug | Verad's Fate Sheet
Current Fate-14 Storyline:Â Merchant, Marine
Current Fate-14 Storyline:Â Merchant, Marine
