I'm pretty late to join this discussion, but I'd like to contribute all the same!
I'm completely new to RP. Three months in, to be exact. When I first started noticing all the romance RP around me, I didn't think much of it at all. After all, these are supposed to be fantasy-genre stories, and these usually have a romance sub-plot. In fact, probably one of the reasons why players try to find a romantic partner for their character so early on, is that we are conditioned to what we've watched/read in media where the love interest of the main character is introduced right away, so people end up scanning for that other character early on.
Later, I began to find out that, many players actually tend to either live vicariously through their characters, or, simply have a set plan for theirs and insist on making them involved with another player's character because that's how they wanna play. I've had a couple of players continuously guilt-trip me OOCly that Mylene should have been with their character, despite me giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to explain to them that RP is cause and effect, and you can't just decide on stuff like that. Eventually, I have learned to ignore these comments all-together.
Don't get me wrong, I love writing emotional/romantic RP because romance is probably my favorite genre in media, followed by fantasy. However, for that sole reason, I am incredibly picky about it. I wasn't just going to pair Mylene up with anyone just so I can get to write all of that into her story. The two characters must, in one way or another, be able to contribute something to one another, and help each other grow. (Whether or not the relationship works out ICly is a different story.) It just has to make sense, or at least be interesting! Also, to me, romance just is not superior to friendship. Mylene has evolved so much more because of her friendships than she ever could with a romantic partner. So, despite that romance /will/ be a part of her story, it's not the driving force behind it.
[Funny thing is, because Mylene is so emotional/friendly, I -think- I once unintentionally made a player think she was coming onto their character, despite the fact that she was obviously way younger than his was, and basically had no common ground with (not that Mylene would ever come onto anyone in the first place, but, you know XD). That experience has taught me how text can be wrongly interpreted, and I am a lot more careful now!]
As for the whole IC bleeding into OOC territory. As a person who has been in a steady offline relationship for a -very- long time, and with a fellow gamer who understands the concept of RP and separating IC from OOC, I will not shy away from setting clear lines with a player who makes me uncomfortable on what should or should not be said, and if they disrespect that, I'll just ignore them completely. We are all aware enough to be able to tell when someone is "Joke-flirting" which can be fun and hilarious, and when someone is "creepy-flirting", which I'm sure a lot of you know what I mean by.
Honestly, Blue, I'm really sorry that you had to experience something so severe
Like you said, you should try to just be blunt with them OOCly, and work with it from there. If it turns out badly, there's always blacklisting. You have all of our support on the matter. I wish this will not drive you away from the game, or roleplaying in general.
I'm completely new to RP. Three months in, to be exact. When I first started noticing all the romance RP around me, I didn't think much of it at all. After all, these are supposed to be fantasy-genre stories, and these usually have a romance sub-plot. In fact, probably one of the reasons why players try to find a romantic partner for their character so early on, is that we are conditioned to what we've watched/read in media where the love interest of the main character is introduced right away, so people end up scanning for that other character early on.
Later, I began to find out that, many players actually tend to either live vicariously through their characters, or, simply have a set plan for theirs and insist on making them involved with another player's character because that's how they wanna play. I've had a couple of players continuously guilt-trip me OOCly that Mylene should have been with their character, despite me giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to explain to them that RP is cause and effect, and you can't just decide on stuff like that. Eventually, I have learned to ignore these comments all-together.
Don't get me wrong, I love writing emotional/romantic RP because romance is probably my favorite genre in media, followed by fantasy. However, for that sole reason, I am incredibly picky about it. I wasn't just going to pair Mylene up with anyone just so I can get to write all of that into her story. The two characters must, in one way or another, be able to contribute something to one another, and help each other grow. (Whether or not the relationship works out ICly is a different story.) It just has to make sense, or at least be interesting! Also, to me, romance just is not superior to friendship. Mylene has evolved so much more because of her friendships than she ever could with a romantic partner. So, despite that romance /will/ be a part of her story, it's not the driving force behind it.
[Funny thing is, because Mylene is so emotional/friendly, I -think- I once unintentionally made a player think she was coming onto their character, despite the fact that she was obviously way younger than his was, and basically had no common ground with (not that Mylene would ever come onto anyone in the first place, but, you know XD). That experience has taught me how text can be wrongly interpreted, and I am a lot more careful now!]
As for the whole IC bleeding into OOC territory. As a person who has been in a steady offline relationship for a -very- long time, and with a fellow gamer who understands the concept of RP and separating IC from OOC, I will not shy away from setting clear lines with a player who makes me uncomfortable on what should or should not be said, and if they disrespect that, I'll just ignore them completely. We are all aware enough to be able to tell when someone is "Joke-flirting" which can be fun and hilarious, and when someone is "creepy-flirting", which I'm sure a lot of you know what I mean by.
Honestly, Blue, I'm really sorry that you had to experience something so severe
Like you said, you should try to just be blunt with them OOCly, and work with it from there. If it turns out badly, there's always blacklisting. You have all of our support on the matter. I wish this will not drive you away from the game, or roleplaying in general.
Mylene's Screenshot Journal 
http://wharfmylene.tumblr.com/
Mylene's Wiki-PageÂ
http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/wiki/index....lene_Wharf
http://wharfmylene.tumblr.com/
Mylene's Wiki-PageÂ
http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/wiki/index....lene_Wharf
