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***Maril*** · **03-03-2017, 02:49 PM**

Over time most FC's will experience having to remove people. It can be fairly benign, such as incompatibilities with the theme or RP style or it can just be down to drama. It's really nothing unusual either that people who were removed with drama to follow will try to flame and spread rumors as others have mentioned. My personal experience, with both rumors about a person and rumors about a free company, is that the good stuff you do will outweigh the bad - and at the end of the day, if people buy into the rumorstream, then they're probably people who you don't want to collect that many of anyways. It's easy to get obsessed over what people think of you/your fc, and having people around you who are keen on never interacting with anyone they've heard a bad rumor about is just going to make things worse. So, even though it's hard, try to shrug it off ^^

ArmachiA · **03-04-2017, 07:03 AM**

(03-03-2017, 02:07 PM)ExAtomos Wrote:
(03-03-2017, 11:52 AM)Thorbought Wrote: Yeah...as someone who has gone through a bit of members..there's people willing to start shit and get upset over the smallest little issue.

This is a bit of a red flag to me. Why is your FC going through so many people? In my experience, you'll get the odd temperamental sort or someone that never fits in, but never a bunch. You may want to take a good look at your recruitment policies to see what kind of people you are pulling in. There may be a mismatch between how y'all seem on paper vs. how you are day to day. Also, if you recruit everything, you're gonna get everything... good and bad.

As for the attack on your tavern, yeah it sounds like basic immature revenge.

Could be a larger FC? The Night Blades ballooned up to 100ish members last year and we have a pretty big revolving door on people jumping in to the FC because it was large, but leaving a few weeks later because it was large haha. I'm glad we downsized though, it gets to a certain point in FC leadership (ESPECIALLY RP FCs) where too many people has diminishing returns.

As for your issue, People are going to talk shit. That's the truth. I've been running an FC since 2003 and one of the things I had to learn was to get a thicker skin because people will talk a lot of shit. I've heard rumors about my FC in this game (Mostly we're elitist's who hate the community and we suck) but you gotta let it roll off your back.

The best advice I can give is, while you can chant "Haters gon' hate" all day, actually look into the rumors and see if anything is somewhat justified. There are always avenues you can improve your guild and how you run it, but people tend not to tell you that while they're in it, they only tend to throw criticism once they've left - not really helping you at all. If the rumors are completely unfounded - ignore them. They don't pertain to you. They're ultimately meaningless ramblings of an angry former guildie. If there is some truth to them, then make a mental note to do better next time. You don't have to address the people spreading them (In fact, I'd advise against it) but you can make a note for next time to do things differently.

Also, Haters Gon' Hate.

***Teadrinker*** · **03-04-2017, 07:17 AM**

You always want to be more wary of people who sit in circles and talk rumors more so than you want to be of ones who just seem to be trying to carry on and enjoy the game and their RP.

(03-03-2017, 11:50 AM)Nebbs Wrote: Indeed - Haters gotta hate and toxics don't detox

Varinh · **03-04-2017, 09:22 AM**

The others have the right of it. See if there's some truth to the rumours. Practice some self-awareness, ask some members. If there's nothing to worry about on the inside, don't worry too much about the outside. Roleplayers write drama as a hobby, some of them don't quite leave it to roleplay, however.

Thorbought · **03-05-2017, 01:45 PM**

There's another fc that we're friendly with that have confirmed to us that there are people bad mouthing us but I personally have no idea what the rumors are, just that they exist. And the reviews for the tavern we've gotten just seem so...nit picky? I don't want to just assume that it's not valid criticism but they complain about uncomfortable seating in an rp restaurant and say we're one of the worst places they've gone to. The whispers I've gotten only say 'there's people saying bad things about you' but never tell me what.

Kilieit · **03-05-2017, 02:03 PM**

Yeah my advice still stands. Put this out of your mind completely, stop asking other people about it, stop replying to random /tells at all, and work on any improvements with feedback from people who are actually invested in your FC.

ArmachiA · **03-05-2017, 03:50 PM**

If people aren't telling you what people are saying beyond "THEY ARE SAYING BAD THINGS THO." ignore them. They obviously don't care enough to tell you specifics so you shouldn't care enough to listen to them.

Aurou · **03-05-2017, 03:50 PM**

Your main concern should be keeping everyone *within* your FC happy. As long as that's happening and you all are enjoying your RP, your environment, and your company who cares about the rest? Don't let the random salt get you down, because that's exactly what it's intended to do. Ruin your fun. Ignore it. Blacklist the random hate /tell senders and do not dignify them with a response. If you let them know that they are getting to you they will continue to harass you. Eventually, if you just let it all drop, they will get bored and move on to something else.

Shuck · **03-05-2017, 08:23 PM**

Dude, there's some things you have to ask yourself about these kinds of messages.

First, and most importantly: Am I the asshole here?

When I ask myself this question, the answer is "yes", but you might not answer that way. I see the call for self-awareness has already gone off, and that's good, you should follow that.

Second: How much do I care?

People say dumb shit about dumb shit all the time, and words are cheap. They have as much value as you assign them, and literally nothing more.

I mean, for a while? It was word-of-mouth that me and mine were fake roleplayers only interested in trolling other people. I didn't give a shit, I just kept doing what I was doing, and now I break the anecdote out every now and then as a point of comedy.

I guess the point is: Get to a spot where you can break this anecdote out as a point of comedy, because roleplayers don't have a Yelp! page, and even if they did, who fucking cares. What are they gonna do, report you to the Better Roleplaying Bureau? Call the Imagination Police?

Call 'em, you don't give a fuck.

Faye · **03-05-2017, 08:59 PM**

As others have said, this is sadly a pretty normal experience with running FC's. The cause is typically someone who has been rejected, removed, or left on what they feel is a negative note getting salty. They tell their friends and impressionable strangers who often get salty, too, and keep the rumormill going, who tell their own friends and other impressionable strangers, etc. Of course, there are other causes sometimes--other FC's jealous because they feel they're in competition with yours, random ass people who feel your FC is doing something "wrong" and that they could run it better than the current leadership, people who have had a negative experience with a single one of your FC members (past or present), the list goes on. People will cause drama about the pettiest of things.

If the rumors are concerning you, you can look into it to find out what is being said, by who, and why. Once you find out who is at the source, you could try talking with them, but that's honestly probably a lost cause. It would be better to just find out what the rumors are to see if there's any truth behind them and see if there are improvements that could be made to your FC and its image. With level one alts messaging you to say "people are saying bad things" and giving no further detail, though, it just sounds like one of the people who feel they've been wronged by your FC is trying to start drama and upset you, rather than a helpful player trying to give you a heads up.

So the best advice I can give is to keep doing the best you can with your FC to make it a positive environment for its members and the people around it. Less rumors will start/spread that way, and people will be less likely to believe the rumors when they hear them. And remember that in the end, anyone who's going to look down on your FC or avoid it based on completely unfounded rumors is no one you need around you or your FC, anyway.

Tyndles · **03-05-2017, 09:55 PM**

Yep, just gonna echo a bit. If you're good and your FC is good, then this will pass soon enough as long as you don't give them fuel.

Usually the people that do a lot of yelling and shouting and roasting in public forums tend to be the terrible people.

Parvacake · **03-05-2017, 09:57 PM**

(03-03-2017, 02:49 PM)Maril Wrote: Over time most FC's will experience having to remove people. It can be fairly benign, such as incompatibilities with the theme or RP style or it can just be down to drama. It's really nothing unusual either that people who were removed with drama to follow will try to flame and spread rumors as others have mentioned. My personal experience, with both rumors about a person and rumors about a free company, is that the good stuff you do will outweigh the bad - and at the end of the day, if people buy into the rumorstream, then they're probably people who you don't want to collect that many of anyways. It's easy to get obsessed over what people think of you/your fc, and having people around you who are keen on never interacting with anyone they've heard a bad rumor about is just going to make things worse. So, even though it's hard, try to shrug it off ^^

Pretty much what Maril has said.

All it takes is one or two salty people. Most you can do is ignore them and move on. The people that know better and who are willing to give you and your FC a chance to prove yourselves without rumors clouding the way are the ones you really want to have around.

In the words of Seuss: "...those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Ryslo Suramlo · **03-06-2017, 09:45 PM**

To be honest the best way to handle this is to ignore it. What your doing by acknowledging this negativity is giving it strength and merit. We all get negative press whether your a player, Free Company Leader or a Member of a FC. Doesn't matter, whether your at fault or this person is the best course is to just move on.

If Drama comes at me or any of my FC members from the outside I always advise people to just ignore it and move past it. By fueling the fire you make it more apparent then it needs to be and you actually help the person that's doing the flaming. Again my advice just ignore it and move on.

Of course if its a problem that can be talked about between the two parties go for it! but if its blatant comments that don't allow room for discussion then just look past it. One sided conversations i'm not a fan of. Simple saying, "To earn respect you must give Respect."

Gabineaux · **03-08-2017, 08:49 PM**

If you find a lot of problem people getting into your fc, maaaybe it's time to re-evaluate your application process.. if you've got one. I think of my fc's app as a net to keep the weirdies out, which some people will shout ELITIST at. But y'know? It saves a lot of headaches in the long run.

.....the app I've not completely finished yet, that is! I've been taking a look at fc apps from 'successful' seeming fcs, but EVERY fc is going to get drama in it one way or another.

I aaaalmost don't want to recruit anyone at all and keep my fc the small size it is, but fresh faces are always nice to have around. People are just going to be people. Drama comes hand in hand with most social interactions.

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