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foxfirestorm · **02-01-2018, 12:02 PM**

I tend to actually play men, while being a woman rl myself. Like you, I just find it more enjoyable and easier to keep up a massive 4th wall between myself and my character.

For some reason, when I create a female character, that 4th wall is thinner and that tends to bother me. There are times I can create a female and keep that 4th wall up, but I still know there are greater weaknesses in its design.

I also find that I get better roleplay experience when playing a male character than a female. I have an idea as to why this is, but I rather avoid the topic, cause it also could just become a massive mound of salt (the curse of gaming as long as I have and roleplaying. You've seen a ton and you have put up with a ton too as a female gamer).

In short, I think the other reason I play men over my own gender, not just cause they are fun to play, but also for their damn good looks (I like dressin' them fine), but I tend to get more respect (but again, see salt levels xD).

Stormfalcon · **02-03-2018, 12:57 AM**

I've played both genders in my decades of playing MMOs, but I would have to say that most of my characters have been female.Â Of course, there's the fact that they usually wind up looking better, at least in my eyes.Â However, there's also the challenge of playing a gender you're not, as well as getting an idea of how things are on the other side of the fence.Â As someone who's done writing as a hobby in the past, I also find it helpful in improving how I write female characters, though it's not always a perfect tool for that.

It can be a bit tricky when it comes to ERP however.Â I've done it in the past, though I haven't been involved with it in the past few years at least (and not certain if I'd get back into it again).Â It's a tricky matter trying to figure out if you're acting and reacting as the opposite gender would in intimate situations, or as you fantasizing how they would do so instead.Â And of course, there's the risk of things getting messy if you let on to your RL gender in a haphazard or ill-thought-out manner.

Having read through this thread, I must say that this has been the most mature discussion of the topic I've seen in a long time.Â Too many other places, when the topic of playing the opposite gender comes up, it usually and quickly devolves into people passing judgement on others for the way they enjoy RPGs that seems icky and perverted in their eyes.Â I'm glad that this is getting a much more level-headed discussion here in this community!

Kaiverta · **02-03-2018, 06:34 AM**

(02-01-2018, 11:14 AM)Alexandra Leyland Wrote: I'm a woman, and I usually play female characters. I had more men than women for a couple years, but now... literally every character I have in FFXIV is a woman, so maybe it was a phase?

That's quite possible, yes. Smile

An informative phase, where you learned something, no doubt.

Kaiverta · **02-03-2018, 06:35 AM**

(02-03-2018, 12:57 AM)Stormfalcon Wrote: Having read through this thread, I must say that this has been the most mature discussion of the topic I've seen in a long time.Â Too many other places, when the topic of playing the opposite gender comes up, it usually and quickly devolves into people passing judgement on others for the way they enjoy RPGs that seems icky and perverted in their eyes.Â I'm glad that this is getting a much more level-headed discussion here in this community!

ERPGs can be quite troublesome, if only because the other person might not react well, or might get clingy, etc. I prefer to NOT get involved in ERPGs but sometimes by characters just develop that way with others over long periods of interaction. It can't always be helped.

But as you said, this time the conversation is getting mature answers and reactions. Sometimes, people are not so mature and they ruin it for everyone else. Thankfully, that has not happened here. Smile

Malthris · **02-12-2018, 11:04 PM**

(08-10-2017, 09:33 AM)Six Wrote:
(08-09-2017, 09:44 AM)Kaiverta Wrote:
(08-09-2017, 08:20 AM)Es Wrote: An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

I received poor treatment on my female characters from other female characters, but it always felt like it was more OOC crap THROUGH their characters than the characters, themselves.

Playing male characters, almost all of the attention I get is positive. My male characters are generally widely liked - which is a relief because I do prefer to play them. >.>

So far, every interaction I've had with OOC men due to RP has been pleasant. I have a couple of close friends who are males, and who know I play a male character (and one of them actually has a female who is in love with one of my male characters, ha). It's all about maturity in the end. Everyone I'm surrounded by is pretty mature, so the drama of old is thankfully very rare.
I've found that while on regular servers the male population can outnumber the female population, when it comes to RP servers it almost feels like the majority is female. Before I figured out red flags and hung out with reasonable people I noticed that there seems to be an idea of competition with some female players going on - kind of an extension of the IRL occurrence. When you've got people who are girls RPing girls and want an IC (maybe OOC too) relationship with a male character played by a male player stuff gets CRAZY - even moreso when the guys are limited.

Then you get the flipside on non RP servers with dudes falling over themselves for a female raider. :V

Common ground with both is just immaturity, yeah. I haven't gotten any drama from any other players regardless of gender since I've gotten some good people to hang out with. I don't really think it's down to your character in the end or your gender or whatever - just being around nice people. The prevalence of forums like this helps, too, I think - people are able to see how much a negative attitude robs them of.

This.Â Very much this.Â As a male RPer who normally plays males?Â This is a common thing not just in FFXIV but in other RP formats as well.Â I can not count the number of times I've gotten some variation of "OMG, a straight male RPer!!!"...Â Â It is always a bit odd (and usually makes me keep those people at a severe arms length).

For myself, I normally play male characters. I do have female alts, but most are not Rped.Â I simply don't feel I portray them well enough!Â Yes, there is the old standby of "play as a person, not a gender", but realistically?Â Women and men react to things and think about things differently.Â Â
Not that I am against doing so.Â And I do have a couple ideas floating about in the back of my head for eventual RP.Â Â ERP wise? yeaaahhh...that (as mentioned above) can be another "line crossing thing" for a lot of people. To me, it has to have a place in the STORY. Not be the point of it. And it is something I am extremely picky about including to begin with. Bad experiences. <shudders>

Besides, the emotional side of any relationship is the interesting part to write, to me. The rest is a cherry on the sundae, and an excellent writing exercise (because it can be SO repetitive), but what really matters? how characters relate and react emotionally. <gets back on tangent>

Mostly, I am comfortable playing males...and as someone else mentioned, as I've gotten older I've seen less and less "crazy who can't differentiate IC and OOC borders".Â Which is a good thing...

People who get upset about RL gender and IC gender being different often seem a bit younger and more "hidebound" in their views.Â I mean, it is your character interacting with their character.Â NOT you...Â It is like being a villain.Â IC I have played several villains, from the stereotypical Dirk Dasterdly, mustache twirling black cloak of yesteryear to more "modern" depraved and cruel types.Â As well as villains who are only villains because their goals are in opposition to everyone else.
And villains often get the same thing as someone playing another gender:Â People get upset OOC, rather than IC.Â And I think it is a similar way of thinking.Â People blur their lines...

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Your Gender vs. Your Character's

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