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g0ne · **02-03-2015, 01:10 AM**

Right. Some things I would like to clarify about this thread.Â

1. This is a thread where RPers can suggest methods or tactics they apply to keep this boundary firm. It is a means to better help understand this IC OOC line, and prevent blurring and the multitude of problems that come with it. You could call it a guide of sorts.

2. It is not a thread where you can toss in all sorts of negativities or make the thread go aggressive, hostile etc. Refrain from posting anything on this thread other that is against the SMILE way. The SMILE way endorses postivity and happy and of course, smiles.Â

3. As much as I want this to be helpful and useful to everyone and do not want the thread to turn into a battlefield and therefore get closed, I will not hesistate to ask the mods to shut it down if things get heated.Â

If all the above is clear, you can post. Remember, smiles and postivity. Smile

Ririla Rila · **02-03-2015, 01:16 AM**

Most important rule I've always found, especially when you're Roleplaying intimate moments and such (Which is where people tend to mix both IC or OOC the most) Is communication between the parties involved, it's always good to keep actively talking OOCly about the Roleplay, or just general chit-chat.

Most flame-wars happen when someone OOCly isn't satisfied with how IC things are going, this can be avoided with communication!

Enla · **02-03-2015, 01:21 AM**

Personally for me, the way I try to approach this is that if I'm RPing a particularly divisive character I'll outright tell people from the start that I'm sorry for how they might behave, and that I hope the two of us as real people can at least be friendly even if my character is being utterly ruthless. In fact if I'm playing a particularly unpleasant character I'll often lay down what they're capable of, so that the other person knows what they might be getting into and can reject it accordingly. Likewise, if I'm playing a fairly decent character but they do something that might put others off, I open a discussion with the other roleplayers first and let them know what is about to happen. If the subject matter is anything more than a simple argument, I'll usually also ask for permission as well. Most people don't really see the need to give permission, but I feel it opens the pathway towards mutual respect and understanding when you put another person's comfort first. I've found most fights and misunderstandings tend to resolve themselves, or even avoid happening in the first place, with even just the most basic amount of communication.

Ririla Rila · **02-03-2015, 01:27 AM**

(02-03-2015, 01:21 AM)Cylin Wrote: Personally for me, the way I try to approach this is that if I'm RPing a particularly divisive character I'll outright tell people from the start that I'm sorry for how they might behave, and that I hope the two of us as real people can at least be friendly even if my character is being utterly ruthless.Â

I've never actually done that, I play quite a.. difficult character? I've always given the Roleplayer the benefit of the doubt and assume they understand that what is IC doesn't have OOC connotations. However that's just me ^.^ I do however tell them before hand what my intentions (If its like a mugging) are before the interaction, so they have the option to decline. It also creates a good and open flow of communication! (I love communication so much, I might Eternal Bond it.)

g0ne · **02-03-2015, 01:27 AM**

Okies. One of the most common things I have heard is people making snap judgements on the player based on the character. Just because the character is a crazy psychopath who goes around raping and murdering, or the character is a seductress does not mean the player behind the character is the same. Heck, the player could be the complete opposite.Â

Things I do or would do to deal with this (and pretty much all of my RP) are:

1. Pretend the player does not even exist. It's just the character, mine and theirs. I do not exist in the RP, and neither does the other. Think of it as NPCs interacting, or two characters in a movie/anime interacring with each other.

2. Another important thing is to not let yourself get in the way. You are not your character. You are a different entity and your character is someone else entirely. If your cannot understand this, you're missing thr point of RP. It's called Roleplay, you play the role of a character like actors and voice actors do.Â

3. Perhaps the most important bit is to converse, talk. If something makes you way too uncomfortable, it's a good idea to talk so that instead of bottled up emotions turning sour, things can get cleared up nicely.Â

4. And what if you figure out that you just don't like the other person? Well, in cases like that I say we are gifted to have two ears. Hear with one and if you don't like what you heard, toss it out the other before your brain gets a chance to process it. If that still doesn't work, there's a magical tool called the blacklist.Â

5. Above all, before you judge other people and their characters look at yourself and your character. It stops you from pointing a lot of fingers. No one is perfect. No one.Â

6. SMILE.

Well, there's some input from my side.

Enla · **02-03-2015, 01:30 AM**

(02-03-2015, 01:27 AM)Liliro Liro Wrote:
(02-03-2015, 01:21 AM)Cylin Wrote: Personally for me, the way I try to approach this is that if I'm RPing a particularly divisive character I'll outright tell people from the start that I'm sorry for how they might behave, and that I hope the two of us as real people can at least be friendly even if my character is being utterly ruthless.Â

I've never actually done that, I play quite a.. difficult character? I've always given the Roleplayer the benefit of the doubt and assume they understand that what is IC doesn't have OOC connotations. However that's just me ^.^ I do however tell them before hand what my intentions (If its like a mugging) are before the interaction, so they have the option to decline. It also creates a good and open flow of communication! (I love communication so much, I might Eternal Bond it.)

I've only gotten into the habit of doing so since I've seen a few too many fights break out over the matter. That and I'm a bit of a pushover and really, really worry about offending other people. So by going out of my way like that I feel it's best for both my own sensibilities and possibly those of any potential RP partner. I don't really expect others to do it though. ^^
Also lol! Not going to lie, the image of the word communication wearing a tux and or gown for some reason just made me laugh out loud. xD

Blue · **02-03-2015, 01:37 AM**

My advice, especially when it comes to dangerous, big drama-fuel things such as romance, is to RP it only with someone you have ICly and most importantly OOCly known for a long, long time.

I know romance can be exciting and the urge to jump on the first person who appears to be flirting with us is strong, but always remember that there is a person on the other side of the screen, and that you don't know who that person is and how they are in personality.

I have seen a lot of drama occur because two started RPing romance too fast, and then one revealed to want to take the relationship to a level the other wasn't ready for, which resulted to internal drama, drama among linkshells, and in the worst cases, even OOC stalking.

My rule of thumb is to open possibilities for IC romantic interests only with people I've roleplayed/OOCly played with for at least one year, but maybe I may be too strict. But hey, it has worked and has saved me a lot of nasty, regretful moments.

Edvyn · **02-03-2015, 01:42 AM**

JK rowling is not harry potter

there's your boundary Cool

DreamedReality · **02-03-2015, 01:43 AM**

1. Communication. I also keep in mind that communication consists of two things. 1. Saying what you're after. Saying when you're uncomfortable or unavailable or w/e. 2. Listening to what the other person has to say.

2. Respect. I keep in mind that there is another feeling being on the other end of the character I'm interacting with.

3. I don't RP when I'm feeling hugely stressed or negative. I don't want to risk influencing what my characters do just based on what I'm feeling out of game.

4. I keep in mind that when RPing, what happens to a character of mine happens to that character. It is not a reflection on myself.

5. I keep in mind that I won't get along with everyone. It is not personal. There are dozens of RP styles out there and my style will not mesh with all of them. Sometimes this will go one way. And that is okay and I remember point #2.

ArmachiA · **02-03-2015, 02:49 AM**

Most everything can be solved with a heavy dose of communication.

For me, I've ran into rps who don't want to talk ooc very much because it ruins their immersion, and if that happens I generally choose to take a step back. I am very open with my intentions, my characters feelings, or anything that needs to be spoken about and pretty much require other people be the same.

We have a person in our guild who plays a very caustic type of character, so is easily angered and quick to snap. The player, however, is really, really nice oocly, so when he is meeting someone for the first time icly, he always warns "Hey my character is a jerk." This has done a lot to help alleviate any drama that may come with his characters snippy behavior.

Also during any tense scenes, where a bunch of people are fighting or something bad is happening, I like to try to get discussion happening oocly in the ooc ls we have, to keep people from feeling the anger OOCly (Cuz that's really easy to do, lets be real). Some people don't like talking DURING a scene, which is fine but after a scene happens I like to get people to talk it out to A. blow off steam from a tense scene and B. to have a nice reminder that it's not real and we're all friends here.

Overall, I want people to discuss things that happen ICly - whether or not they agree with it - because that discussion keeps the reality of all this being pretend real. In the OOC ls we are very quick to say that we didn't agree with something a character did or thought something was a bad decision and, yes, some people have gotten really upset by this -- but we them getting mad only makes them look petty and most eventually learn not to take RP oocly.

Romance needs a lot of communication, too, and is it's probably the most important thing to have when doing an RP romance. Constant discussion of the ground rules, that this won't be taken oocly, etc etc. It's all about making your rp partner as comfortable as possible. There's a trust that comes with RP romances, a promise that this isn't real and neither side will make it real. When you say something is Okay, it actually being okay, and when something is not, you stop immediately.

Communication.
Communication
Communication.

Enla · **02-03-2015, 03:01 AM**

(02-03-2015, 02:49 AM)ArmachiA Wrote: Romance needs a lot of communication, too, and is it's probably the most important thing to have when doing an RP romance. Constant discussion of the ground rules, that this won't be taken oocly, etc etc. It's all about making your rp partner as comfortable as possible. There's a trust that comes with RP romances, a promise that this isn't real and neither side will make it real. When you say something is Okay, it actually being okay, and when something is not, you stop immediately.

This. The biggest regret I have ever had in regards to RP was not putting this ground rule down when I started RPing back in another game. Failing to do so cost me what I thought was a very dear friend, who felt that because our characters were becoming close that we should be as we should be together as well. Needless to say it turned very creepy, very fast.

I have a character currently who is feeling somewhat bashful towards another character in game, and at present I see no reason to extend to further than that. The moment she actually starts feeling something - either for him or another person - however is the moment I'm taking their player aside to discuss this. Because while I'm usually fairly sure the other person won't be the kind of player to fabricate any further intentions on my part, there is no way of knowing until I bring it up. I stopped RPing in that other game almost entirely because of what had happened, and it really ended up depressing me far too much for my liking. Never assume that your RP partners are on the same page as you because they might have been before. These sort of things really need to be talked over first and foremost, otherwise everyone just ends up unhappy.

Val · **02-03-2015, 03:08 AM**

Most people have already touched on pretty much all the ways I would approach things, especially with the OOC communication with IC relationships. I myself tend to avoid IC relationships because I don't necessarily trust others, and I try to keep these relationships to only those that I do trust or have known for a lengthy period of time.Â

One thing I always suggest for people to do is that if they find themselves becoming too involved and the line starts to blur, take a break. I think it's okay to tell the other person/people/whatever that you need some time away to disconnect yourself from that and remind yourself that it's just IC.

I really can't stress enough how important communication is. As the above poster stated, making assumptions that all is well is a fast way to a problem, and it should be perfectly fine to bring it up to that person and simply tell them your thoughts on the matter. In fact, Val can be a bit of a prick OOC and I feel the need to message random people he's mean to in order to apologize to them and tell them that I'm not like that x_x

Nebbs · **02-03-2015, 03:54 AM**

All good stuff, I would caution that things are seldom clear cut and you should look for ways to be resiliant when it does go wrong.

But just to add another dimention.

In more longer term RP you can find an OOC friendship. This brings its own joy and issues, and as that friendship grew out of RP it can be a little mixed up.

The important thing is to understand that your friend is a person, and not their toon (and yourself also). Hard to do when the RP is emotional as that by passes rational reason. Sometime the person not the toon needs a hug, sometimes they need to be alone... you now have an ooc friendship, not RP.

As for myself I supose I have faild or been the victim at most aspects of online RP over too many years. Some lessons I learn, some I struggle with. I even mess up a bit every day.

Parvacake · **02-03-2015, 04:38 AM**

On my phone so apologies in advanced for the typos.
Communication and talking things out I feel is always 120% effective at keeping the boundary and not making things uncomfortable. Being frank and honest helps, even if it isnt always what someone wants to hear.

Another which I feel is one far too many people forget is: there is a person behind the screen and RP. If you wouldn't ignore/avoid/smash talk/bastardize/etc. This person if you knew them irl, dont do it simply because a screen is protecting you. They are real and have lives too Smile

Tiergan · **02-03-2015, 05:15 AM**

1) DO NOT USE RP AS WISH-FULFILLMENT OR TO VICARIOUSLY GET THE THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN REAL LIFE.

Honestly? This is one of the biggest reasons why I see people blurring the lines between IC/OOC. They really want something in real life, but they can't get it - so they try to live the dream in RP. At that point, they're already mixing IC/OOC because their OOC desires are what ultimately fuels their IC actions. Things suddenly become far more personal and carry far more weight than is appropriate for fantasy pretend-story fun times in a video game.

If you really, really want romance in real life - DO NOT try to get it vicariously in the game only to get super upset when the RP romance doesn't go the way you want.

If you really, really want to be popular or well liked and beloved by everyone in real life - DO NOT make that your sole goal in RP only to get angry when another character doesn't love yours.

The other problem with this is that you have the perfect fantasy in your head of how you would like things to go, but that is YOUR fantasy - not anyone else's. Everyone else has the power to think and act on their own and may make decisions that completely contradict what you want in your perfect scenario. Because you can't force them to be the way you want (unless you're a huge asshat), you just set yourself up for disappointment.

It's also generally (there are of course exceptions to everything) really, REALLY unhealthy to try and use RP to get what you don't have in real life. Fix your real life first - then play the game.

2) Everyone's already mentioned communication. I'm just putting it here to stress how important it is even more. This is doubly true if you're playing a villain. I know a lot of people are super strict about no OOC in their RP because it ruins immersion, but I personally feel like I HAVE to have it to make sure that not only are we on the same page, but to show that I am a friendly, kind person even if my character is a villainous jerk or a grumpy asshole.

When all someone sees of you is your IC jerkface villain, it can be easy for even the best-intentioned person to kinda slip up and wonder if you are also a jerk OOC, but not if you show that you're a good, friendly player behind the character.

3) Lastly, think of your characters as characters for a literal book you are writing - not characters you am inserting yourself into or becoming. RP is like a giant book written by numerous authors. Or like another analogy, a comic series where different parts of the comic universe are written by different people. You don't get pissed at another author for having a villainous character in their story/comic. The author is not their characters. YOU are not your character. Your character is just a creation for the story you're writing with everyone else.

When you think of it in this light, suddenly a lot of bad and horrible things that could happen to your character are just terrible, but AWESOME things that make for a really fantastic and dramatic story.

A painful betrayal might suck for the character, but it can be excellent for building a deeper narrative or creating more character development! Having a hated rival might suck for the character, but it's great for building up a story between another player! This is why I love all kinds of moments from the soft fuzzy happy stuff to the heart-wrenching, painful, tragic events because it's exactly like all of the awesome FEELS you get from a great book.

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The IC/OOC boundary and how to approach it the SMILE way

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes