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Tiergan · **03-22-2015, 12:00 PM**

H'okay. So as I may have mentioned a few times now - I'm cripplingly shy. This crippling shyness often gets in the way of me hunting down the random RP, which is why I like events. The only character I have where this is 2000% not a problem is Leilani Leilai, because she's a plucky, outgoing bard-in-training who likes to grill people for their delicious glorious tales of greatness to make into song later which makes it SUPER easy to just fling myself in the middle of RP and engage people.

Unfortunately, I have an almost impossible time with Tiergan because he's an anti-social grump face and when you're a shy person playing an anti-social grump face character it can be really tough to just launch yourself into RP. You're pretty much fighting through two levels of "ohgodtherearepeoplehereOhNo".

He's not really the sort of person to frequent a bar to meet new people, so sometimes I try to invent reasons for why he would be at a place like the Quicksand or some other tavern establishment in the first place - but that solves the "Why would he be there?" problem and not really the "Why would he want to meet new shiny strangers?" problem.

Any ideas? Or is this just kind of the deal I cut for myself by rolling Tiergan the way I did? If so, I'm cool with that, because it's not absolutely imperative that I find random RP with Tiergan - I just wanted to see if anyone else had any suggestions before I just stick to Leilani as my primary "git dat Random RPs" character.

Y'lani · **03-22-2015, 12:10 PM**

There are plenty of ways a character can get Random RP without having them outwardly approach another character. Maybe they're reading a book in the street, and as they're walking, they trip over another character. I recommend sending a tell that you do want to roleplay, and your character is just an antisocial grump, to keep it going. He could bump into people, accidentally spill drinks on people, mistake someone for somebody else... the possibilities are endless.

As a crippling shy person myself, OOC tells are my greatest resource. I've discussed this in another thread: it is far from a necessity, but in my opinion, it makes you just that more likely to keep the roleplay flowing.

I made it my only shy character a complete klutz so I could get random RP whenever I wanted. You'd be surprised at where a simple trip gets you, especially if you trip over a pirate or a similarly questionable type.

Nebbs · **03-22-2015, 12:23 PM**

Gosh.. well I think you hit the nail on the head, by playing an outgoing character you can effectively hide your shyness behind that and engage. With the ant-social character you get a double whammy of the character and your own natural tendency.

And this is mainly what I do to overcome my own shyness, see me in RL at a party (if you can find me and if I stayed) and I will be on my own looking interested in something in a corner. I play characters that have facets that make them engage, and more, I use that to try and bring others out of their shell. RPing at someone only goes so far, and you need them to respond.

Here is another problem, most RPers I know are shy and introverted to some degree. So while many welcome interaction they seldom start it. The trick is to help them get going and in return you get RP.. win win.

So, then, what if you want to play the character with low social interaction. I guess you will have to work harder at it and really find the "hooks" that others will respond to.

On a basic level you could go with exaggerated aspects like obnoxious or flirtations, or sarcastic. These are things that get you noticed, but beware you don't get type cast. My advice on this is have a deeper character behind this that you expose as people get closer.

On a more subtle level, try and study your potential RP targets, listen to what they are saying and then open up with something that offers their RP something to interact with. Some advice, or knowledge or just curiosity. Make the exchange about something they value and you stand a better chance.

Also don't wait for specific RP zones, just make RP conversation out in the world. Expect 90% failure but the 10% wins are golddust.

I would also recommend having some general activities in your back pocket, these can be just the reason why you happen to be where you are all the way to a mini RP scene where the other character could help (carry something, watch your back, check out an item, give fashion advice etc..)Â

And don't take failure as failure, it is just one step closer to finding that 1 in 10.Â

In summary, approach RP in a way that is focused providing interaction to others rather than looking for interaction with you.

I hope that helps and if not get a short skirt and spam the cheer emote in someone's face.. that gets you some interest of a sort Smile

Sounsyy · **03-22-2015, 12:23 PM**

Tier can trip into Sounsyy any time. /wink

On a slightly more serious note... not that I wasn't serious about Tier bumping into Souns cuz it needs to happen.. sometimes I face the same problem with Sounsyy. She'll be sociable once she's approached or carry a conversation out of politeness, but she isn't exactly the type to seek others out. Attending events really helped her out in this respect. Clio's drinking competition garnered her some friends, as well as becoming something of a Grindstone Most Wanted at the moment. Fighting and drinking are two activities that are in character for Sounsyy and fortunately I found an RP niche that has given her a reputation. So people recognize her and start interacting with her. (nudge nudge, you can use that as a hook for me)

So maybe think of something grumpTier is good at or makes a hobby of and start doing that in a public place. You do it enough and people will start recognizing you and wanting to interact. Like Aya being a Quicksands barmaid. It's kinda a canon thing now. Or Verad being a dubious salesman. Etc.

But I also recommend attending lots of events, even if you don't do anything more than spectate. Being in close confines with a ton of other characters usually forces some interaction! There must have been close to 40 people at Grindstone last night, for instance, and not all of them fighters. The spectator RP was quite lively.

...Either that or I'm just gonna have to come break down Tier's door ICly and drag him out of the Coralhaus.

Magellan · **03-22-2015, 12:24 PM**

I have found (btw haii Tier! Heart

Â )that certain characters of mine have the same problem, that it just doesn't make sense for them to actively engage in certain types of rp because it doesn't fit their character.

That is why I love Claire. She is outgoing as they come. I actually steered her towards becoming something of a personal appointment setter (see sig) so that she could help characters (including some of my own) that struggle to 'join the party' so to speak, find like minded individuals ti hang out with. After all, everyone needs friends! Even grumpy faced maleqo's!

Feel free to schedule an appointmentt t with Claire if you like, and she'll do her best to set Tiergan up. Though I imagine it'd be a lot of Tiergan staring at her, and Claire going: 'Sooooooo do you have any, uh, normal hobbies? Ones that don't involve kicking peoples faces?'

***Maril*** · **03-22-2015, 01:24 PM**

I played a character with similar difficulties in Rift, so I understand partly where you're coming from. I would not consider myself overly shy, but I do get my share of self-confidence issues - everything gets much much harder to accomplish if I am doubting that people around me even like my presence. Happens now and again >.<

Anyways, I solved it by making her "addicted" to a particular brand of alcohol that was only sold in what happened to be the larger RP bar-hub at the time, so whilst she wouldn't go there every day, she'd endure the presence of other people in order to get what she wanted. As she progressed, it also became increasingly important for her to be in the know when it came to rumors and general world news, and so eventually she would start to sit about in the bar (and other bars) simply to listen in on conversations, and through that she figured out ways of casually talking to people, not for the sake of talking to them and making new friends but simply to fish out what they knew.Â
It was a slow progress, but the fact that it was so I think gave me some confidence to randomly emote at people.Â

One of the things that I did then and still do today when I'm sitting in places like the quicksand, is tossing in various idle-emotes which people could react to if they so choose - maybe one of my characters will stare at someone for just a moment too long whilst thinking they wouldn't get caught, and then people could react to that. Heck, you could even have your character do something that might annoy others like.. I know we probably don't have pens as we know them in this day and age, but you know when people click repeatedly with a pen? It's like, the best thing ever when you do it, but when others do it you really sort of want to murder them a little?Â
Something similar to that. The grumpiness could be channeled into a sort of, not-caring about your characters own behavior because if every other person is annoying then certainly you'd be entitled to be a little annoying too.Â

So whilst it is sort of a thing you have to deal with a lot more when you roll that kind of a character, it's not something that has to remain (as) crippling forever. You "Just" (I know it's not easy) need to pull out a chair, sit down and have ponder about how you can motivate them through perhaps non-conventional means. I haven't ever met your character so it's hard to suggest something specific. Character progression can help with a lot of things, and maybe some of Tiergan's friends can help be an influence for change. Expose a character to something enough, and they're bound to find a way to deal with it, maybe even get curious on the situations.Â
And well, if you can think of any way that any of my characters could be of assistance, let me know ^^

Tiergan · **03-22-2015, 01:41 PM**

Thanks folks! I'm already getting a couple of ideas. I'm slooowly getting to the point where I can actually have something that almost resembles freetime again, so hopefully soon I can put all of this advice to good use (and bumrush Sounsyy at last :V).

Cliodhna Eoghan · **03-22-2015, 02:07 PM**

bump into clio on the street sometime o3o she frequents between ul'dah and limsa seeing as her job requires it. she's for the most part pretty open and chatters on but the more shy/closed off types tend not to deter her either so that won't be an issue as long as i know the pc behind the toon is wanting her to poke them into conversation.
[Image: tumblr_mkxf5sWsIC1rhir5po1_500.gif]

[Image: tumblr_mkxf5sWsIC1rhir5po1_500.gif]

allgivenover · **03-22-2015, 02:11 PM**

Rakka'li was a huge anti-social grump, my way around it was just asking people directly OOC the best way to run into them, then I concocted a reason for Rakka'li to not leave the scene immediately.

Sometimes it's tough, but that's the price of playing a wall-flower.

Qhora Bajihri · **03-22-2015, 02:33 PM**

I've played multiple anti-social grumps, some of whom ended up infamous for anti-social grumpery, which is an odd contradiction, antisocial celebrity. I think I managed that last mostly by doing forum posts (not that I've done that in FFXIV), so people who'd never had to stand my scowling still knew who I was. Then I'd show up at a party, and people would reach out to me rather than me having to break my own shell, and I'd have multiple opportunities to say how much my character didn't want to be there, and yes, leaning against this stuffed ostrich is the best spot in the room, thank you very much.

As an anti-social grump, I've found "solo" roleplay to be the best way for me to still feel like I'm playing. By that, I mean writing. I can not go to RP events for months on end and still feel like I have a character that could RP with others should the opportunity arise. While I sometimes felt like why didn't I just make a social character goddamnit, the times that I have made social characters often backfired, so with the next character I inevitably go back to my corner.

One thing that I've used time and again as a sort of excuse to get the character out and about is an interest in gossip/blackmail, usually easy since I tend to play manipulative bastards. It doesn't have to be a real interest. Just an imagined reason that my character knows even if I don't yet. "I need info on someone at this gathering, or someone who might show up at this place, or someone who might be known by someone who might frequent this shindig, so I'm going to put up with this lunacy until I get some juicy tidbits." That places my character at the party, so to speak, and forces me to pay attention to everything going on, to see if I can build something out of it. Most of the time I can't, but the exercise is successful nonetheless. I learn something about other characters. I might even force myself to ask other people questions to help my not-actually-existing blackmail plot along, or eavesdrop with such obviousness that someone eventually asks why I'm staring.

Don't forget to have a nice bag full of antisocial grumpery emotes ready to pull out at a moment's notice. You might not be participating in the conversation, but you can still fold your arms and frown frequently enough that someone might notice you're there. When I'm doing that, I'm actually usually playing by myself, per se, following my character's reactions without interacting. (What's the point if you're not interacting? Who made that rule? I can interact with myself just fine.) If someone does respond, it's a bonus, not a requirement. I still feel like I've accomplished something, even if I mosey on my way without saying a word to anyone.

Aris · **03-22-2015, 03:41 PM**

Oh I know how you feel! I'm so shy. Just making a post on here makes me incredibly nervous. ;-;

Having a more antisocial character is always going to cause problems, as even if you had the confidence to initiate RP the character themselves could hold you back in some way. I think the best way, as you've already done, is just to find reasons for him to have to interact. Because even shy or antisocial people have to go out and talk, unless it's so bad that you stay inside all day (which is me - I have social phobia) but then I'd question why anyone would want to roleplay that sort of character in the first place, as it wouldn't be very interactive. And I can speak as someone with first hand experience that's it's very lonely and boring. Tongue

Another good way around it is to let people know beforehand that your character is antisocial, and while they may not respond encouragingly at first they will do eventually, and there is promise for good roleplay in the future. This would help keep the interest of anyone who feels the roleplay might not be getting anywhere. I know I'd be happy to roleplay with someone if they let me know beforehand it might be a slow start.

Best of luck! I'll happily roleplay with you, once I've got a better idea of my character. Smile

Edvyn · **03-22-2015, 04:01 PM**

you could always channel your character's anti-social grumpiness into being an asshole, that's what i do

just like, hang out wherever you want, the quicksand especially, and start up conversations by commenting on a person or situation

say gradually more vicious things, other person is either A) mid-way through an interesting conversation with you or B) storming out in frustration cos you pissed em off

both A and B are entertaining, for different reasons Cool

anti-social grumps don't need to avoid people! they could just be assholes instead!

McBeefâ„¢ · **03-22-2015, 04:17 PM**

(03-22-2015, 04:01 PM)Edvyn Wrote: you could always channel your character's anti-social grumpiness into being an asshole, that's what i do

just like, hang out wherever you want, the quicksand especially, and start up conversations by commenting on a person or situation

say gradually more vicious things, other person is either A) mid-way through an interesting conversation with you or B) storming out in frustration cos you pissed em off

both A and B are entertaining, for different reasons

anti-social grumps don't need to avoid people! they could just be assholes instead!

Or just call everyone whores. It works out great for my Alt.

(remember me, Edda? Big Grin

)

Edvyn · **03-22-2015, 04:21 PM**

(03-22-2015, 04:17 PM)Natalie Mcbeef Wrote:
(03-22-2015, 04:01 PM)Edvyn Wrote: you could always channel your character's anti-social grumpiness into being an asshole, that's what i do

just like, hang out wherever you want, the quicksand especially, and start up conversations by commenting on a person or situation

say gradually more vicious things, other person is either A) mid-way through an interesting conversation with you or B) storming out in frustration cos you pissed em off

both A and B are entertaining, for different reasons

anti-social grumps don't need to avoid people! they could just be assholes instead!

Or just call everyone whores. It works out great for my Alt.

(remember me, Edda? )

OH YOU MOTHERFUCKER THAT WAS YOU OH FUCKING GOD DAMN IT I HATE YOU I THOUGHT I WAS DEALING WITH ANOTHER MRA OR SOMETHING BUT IT WAS YOU, YOU FUCKIN

accomplished jokester

Blue · **03-22-2015, 04:30 PM**

As I have stated back in that old thread I made about us anti-social grump characters (I used "introvert" back there, but that's what it is really), we work with a double-edged blade here. Not only our character imposes some limits when it comes to socializing with randomers, but there is also a sort of "thing" that I have yet to understand that brings other RPers to avoid our type of character. Most of people don't like talking with characters who do not immediately spill out everything about themselves or do not seem willing to open up easily, and more than once I have been walked out because of that. We are not entertaining, I guess?

I for one am a strong believer that friendships (or more) shouldn't form by the minute. My character grows fond of people over time, after the barrier of distrust towards a stranger (let's not forget, we RP in a world with robbery and murder, so don't be surprised if I refuse the tea you offer by walking up to me without even introducing yourself. I don't want to die.), and then the one of confidentiality with acquaitances are passed. Sadly, a lot of RPers seem to want to rush through those, and if you aren't fast enough, they'll move on to look for someone who is.

A bright example is the one of that time a girl walked up to me, and after a semi-normal conversation (I received a bit of TMI on her part that I feel would not occur in real life), she invited me to her house. I declined, because... I don't remember ever accepting to go to someone's place after meeting them for the first time in my life. It's just something not realistic and that I feel I shouldn't do both OOC and IC. That was enough for her to decide that there was nothing more to be discussed and she moved on to someone else, to whom she then extended the very same offer. I guess she was just OOCly excited to show off her new house perhaps, and while I am wary of OOC leaks I try to be tolerant towards them but... some are just too much Undecided

...

Anyways, back on topic... The only advice I can give you is to have your character be forced to interact with others by an NPC you can control or a friend who sets it up. To make an example: in FFXI I RPd a samurai boy who was... not even anti-social grump. He was an outright moronic jerk. To have him tie up to the RP group (we were the only RP LS in all of Siren), I had his boss at the Metalwork charging him with escorting the main RP group, whether he wanted it or not. It was his job to do so. That forced my character to stay and travel along with the others, and eventally barriers were broken and bonds were formed.

It may be a little more complicated to do in an open-world RP server, but maybe you could have Tiergan be tasked with something that'd force him to look for other people's aid/opinions. Your plot comes to mind for example, is it still going? (I wish I had more chances to get into it btw, sadly the grades and my RP LS kept me hella busy, especially since now I am the main coordinator of the MSQ RP events >_< )

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Halp: How Do You Get Random RP With Anti-Social Grump Character?

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