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Aya · **03-27-2015, 12:28 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:17 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: If there is something we can do, I want to do it and I don't think "Just go do it" will help. They don't SEE your failures, they only see your successes, "Just go do it" can look very daunting and frustrating to people at times.

Isn't this the very essence of encouragement?Â To urge people to do that which is hard? That which is challenging but rewarding?Â To let people know that yes, its tough, but there is good reason to follow through?

Sophia_Grave · **03-27-2015, 12:29 PM**

Yus! That's the one Franz, thank you! I feel like I've typed that same post like 3 times between yesterday and today, hah.

**Unnamed Mercenary** · **03-27-2015, 12:32 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:29 PM)Apl_Juice Wrote: Yus! That's the one Franz, thank you! I feel like I've typed that same post like 3 times between yesterday and today, hah.

Â This is what I'm good at.Â

On-topic, the only real advice I can try to provide in a thread like this (because I am part of the problem by being antisocial, or getting tied up in a plot that does not allow me to really be social with new people right now) is to try having more social characters? Anti-social works find, but to make an anti-social character work, one must either force them out of their IC comfort zone and MAKE them be social, or have some premade group of people to do that. Passive emotes won't do much for that. Your character won't initiate speaking? That's fine! STARE AT PEOPLE. Find a way to interact with them. Maybe walk and "bump" into them. Or spill a drink.

Aya · **03-27-2015, 12:35 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:32 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote: On-topic, the only real advice I can try to provide in a thread like this (because I am part of the problem by being antisocial, or getting tied up in a plot that does not allow me to really be social with new people right now) is to try having more social characters? Anti-social works find, but to make an anti-social character work, one must either force them out of their IC comfort zone and MAKE them be social, or have some premade group of people to do that. Passive emotes won't do much for that. Your character won't initiate speaking? That's fine! STARE AT PEOPLE. Find a way to interact with them. Maybe walk and "bump" into them. Or spill a drink.

Berrod had terrific advice on this, its absolutely fine to play an anti-social character, but the situation really doesn't change: if you want to meet people you still have to be prepared to broach social interaction yourself.Â To respond to potential interest, or contrive some means of starting something while remaining in-character.

Warren, in another thread, suggested that non-verbal communication can be a starting point as well.Â Body language speaks volumes, and may be able to get things started.

ArmachiA · **03-27-2015, 12:41 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:28 PM)Aya Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:17 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: If there is something we can do, I want to do it and I don't think "Just go do it" will help. They don't SEE your failures, they only see your successes, "Just go do it" can look very daunting and frustrating to people at times.
Isn't this the very essence of encouragement?Â To urge people to do that which is hard? That which is challenging but rewarding?Â To let people know that yes, its tough, but there is good reason to follow through?

It depends on how much they've tried. If they've gone and done it and it failed, really. Seeing "You need to have confidence and do it!" while good advice, can wear someone down after awhile if it isn't exactly working for THEM. What works for some people, doesn't always work for others, is the thing. Confidence falters.

I'm not saying new people try really hard and fail all the time, but I have a lot of sympathy for people trying to break into this community - especially now, I did it when the game launched, I couldn't imagine doing it now - and I've seen a lot of people leave frustrated and wondering if there was a way to help.

FreelanceWizard · **03-27-2015, 12:46 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:32 PM)Unnamed Mercenary Wrote: Anti-social works find, but to make an anti-social character work, one must either force them out of their IC comfort zone and MAKE them be social, or have some premade group of people to do that. Passive emotes won't do much for that. Your character won't initiate speaking? That's fine! STARE AT PEOPLE. Find a way to interact with them. Maybe walk and "bump" into them. Or spill a drink.

Another trick is to do something that would catch attention. If you see a mage nearby -- let's say it's L'yhta, since I can speak for my own character Smile

-- start grumbling to yourself about how hard a particular spell is. Practice little motes of fire magic. Play around with your carbuncle, or have it balk at what you're telling it to do. Comment about how magic is a waste of time or the coward's way out. Any of that will definitely catch her attention in one way or another.

Or you could literally bump into her. Smile

If you're a highlander or roegadyn, you'll get to send her sprawling to the floor.

In all seriousness, it's possible to play a shy or anti-social character that puts themselves "out there" in a way that offers hooks for others. I think part of the issue is an OOC anxiety to do that, perhaps due a fear of being judged harshly or attracting the wrong sort of RP.

Another option that's often overlooked is to just send the person a tell saying you see them and would like to come up with a reason for them to meet in that scene. You can then come up with any number of contrivances, from mistaken identity to a spilled drink, to strike up a conversation. This is often more effective, I think, than trying to set up a scene for a future time because of its immediacy. You're saying, "we're both here, let's get some RP started."

On the larger topic, breaking into an established RP community can be hard. There's fewer big mixer events than there used to be, and if you don't want to take the step of applying to an LS or FC -- or, conversely, if there isn't one that matches your character concept -- it can be tough to get a foothold. Is there more we could be doing? I don't really know.

Berrod Armstrong · **03-27-2015, 12:47 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:41 PM)ArmachiA Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:28 PM)Aya Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:17 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: If there is something we can do, I want to do it and I don't think "Just go do it" will help. They don't SEE your failures, they only see your successes, "Just go do it" can look very daunting and frustrating to people at times.
Isn't this the very essence of encouragement?Â To urge people to do that which is hard? That which is challenging but rewarding?Â To let people know that yes, its tough, but there is good reason to follow through?

It depends on how much they've tried. If they've gone and done it and it failed, really. Seeing "You need to have confidence and do it!" while good advice, can wear someone down after awhile if it isn't exactly working for THEM. What works for some people, doesn't always work for others, is the thing. Confidence falters.

I'm not saying new people try really hard and fail all the time, but I have a lot of sympathy for people trying to break into this community - especially now, I did it when the game launched, I couldn't imagine doing it now - and I've seen a lot of people leave frustrated and wondering if there was a way to help.

That's what these posts are for. All of them have valid advice that can serve as a big help to anyone looking to break through.

Ilwe'ran · **03-27-2015, 12:50 PM**

I am unsure if this will help but I think that there are several things you can do to prepare yourself and to help for making some connections. This will probably be a confused message as I won't set an order in all those "ideas" but here we go :

Precise you're a RPer in your profile in game, and give the link of your wiki using a tiny URL :
Right, this one seems quite logical, though it's not always the case. When I meet someone new, the first thing I do while I talk to them (generally they are the ones reaching out, thank you guys for that, I'm still extra shy here) is to check their RP profile if they have one. It's really important, I think, to spend some time to write your wiki and to make sure that you have the link of it on your signature, in game, on your tumblr, etc.

Focus on the rumors part when you write your wiki :
If someone want to hook with you in character, they will need a reason and the easiest way is to give them some informations about your character, either with rumors either by writing some "your character might notice this about my character" informations. Give to the other one in front of you some opportunity to reach out using what they might know about your character Smile

.

Walk :
99% of the people walking in town are RPer. If you walk, before even anybody talk to you or check your profile, you're announcing to them that you're a RPer AND that you are IC, so potentially available for RP.

Join some LS / FC :
I have to do a HUGE disclaimer here as I found out after some time that a part of the people joining a "finding connection" LS are expecting the others to reach out to them and they will find themselves rping with some knew people within an hour. It clearly doesn't work this way. So here is some "how to use a making connection LS" FAQ.
- Discuss with people: Don't hesitate, I find myself easier to know the people OOC when I'm going to RP with them and so meeting them in a relaxed way helps a lot.
- Ask some RP questions if you have some : You will both have some answers and also be able to note some different style of RP (not every RPer are compatible), and you will gather some informations about the character(s) of that RPer (can help to find some hooks).
- If you click with someone, pm them to see if some RP would be possible.
- Keep in mind that everybody lives in different time zone / have different activities aside / might not be in the mood right now for discussing or RPing.
There you go, you are now properly using some "making connection" LS.

Write some IC letters :
That is a thing I do when I want to reach out to some people or when I'm trying to not lose contact with them. I write an IC letter, giving some informations about my character situation and I try to include some hooks so the people would think "Hey this is how my character can answer and what they can do !". IC letters are a good way to keep contact while your own character is not available for a reason or another (Hello Ilwe who spent 1 1/2 month secluded in his house) and it will even give to those who will receive it the possibility to know where your character is right now if they ever want to see him.

Show Content

Have your character seeking for some help :
I'm RPing since over 15 years and I found extraordinary common to meet some character who will never ask for some help unless X is dying, seclude themselves, refuse to be among the others etc. Obviously this will not help you to find some connection : if your character want to be alone, alone he will be and I know really really few people courageous enough to spend some time to try several time to reach out when they will only find some rejection. Keep in mind that there are a lot of RPer around and you have to give your character enough attractive traits so people will want to meet them.
This doesn't mean that you cannot RP someone who is the calm sort, doesn't like tavern and all and Ilwe is the perfect example to prove this. BUT ! You cannot give to your character every single traits that will repel away people. You have to choose. And for Ilwe, even though he's the sort of not liking crowds and such things, he asks for some help and reaches out when necessary and this is how I manage to have some connection.
What if you don't know anybody who might be able to help on this topic ? This is at this precise moment that the "making connection" LS and forum are useful : Make a topic there, ask for some precise person for a precise plot. Here you go, it's easier to reach out this way when you have a reason / a goal than only having an introduction of your character. And if you can't find ? Run in a crowded place (AKA QS) and shout for some help, have your character crying, ATTRACT THE ATTENTION.

RP relationship are like flowers :
Keep in mind that it's not because you met someone once that this person will remember you IC or OOC in 3 weeks. Exactly like for IRL you have to nurture your connections in a way or another (IC letters are my way, I'm sure that some other people could give some other tips for that). If you don't do it, like a flower, the relationship you had with them will whiter.
And with reason !!! Keep in mind that your character has his plots and life, and it's the same for this other character you met 3 weeks ago : Their life might have change, things happened and your character has no idea about this. If you want to keep in touch with someone. Do it, in a way or another. Just don't pretend that because you met this RPer during 30mn a few weeks ago, your characters are now best buddy forever, it doesn't work this way.

Communicate :
Well, I think I'll finish like this : Try to communicate OOC with the people you like. I know, I'm now Captain Obvious, but it doesn't hurt to remind to people that communication is necessary. Don't hesitate to say when you want to RP with your friends. Don't hesitate to tell them when you don't want. Remember about time zones and so make the RP happen by giving your schedule to people, even several times, as they won't remember it.
Be available and be visible. Really. That's what you need to be seen and to see the others.

ArmachiA · **03-27-2015, 12:51 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:47 PM)Berrod Armstrong Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:41 PM)ArmachiA Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:28 PM)Aya Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:17 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: If there is something we can do, I want to do it and I don't think "Just go do it" will help. They don't SEE your failures, they only see your successes, "Just go do it" can look very daunting and frustrating to people at times.
Isn't this the very essence of encouragement?Â To urge people to do that which is hard? That which is challenging but rewarding?Â To let people know that yes, its tough, but there is good reason to follow through?

It depends on how much they've tried. If they've gone and done it and it failed, really. Seeing "You need to have confidence and do it!" while good advice, can wear someone down after awhile if it isn't exactly working for THEM. What works for some people, doesn't always work for others, is the thing. Confidence falters.

I'm not saying new people try really hard and fail all the time, but I have a lot of sympathy for people trying to break into this community - especially now, I did it when the game launched, I couldn't imagine doing it now - and I've seen a lot of people leave frustrated and wondering if there was a way to help.
That's what these posts are for. All of them have valid advice that can serve as a big help to anyone looking to break through.

To be fair a lot of those posts are exactly what I'm talking about. "Get out there, here's what I did" sounds discouraging to someone who is trying and STILL failing, is my point. This actually happens a lot more often then you think.What do they do? The ones who have tried?

Melkire · **03-27-2015, 12:51 PM**

What worked for me: writing up my own character's story, as it was happening alongside whatever the "cool kids" were doing at the time, and posting it in the Town Square (IC) board. I didn't stop writing when I started catching people's attention/interest, either. I kept writing, then I started getting pokes and Private Messanges and /tells from people. Then I started poking and PMing and /telling them back, asking for chances to RP with them in-game, if they would mind helping along a newb, what times would be good for them, etc.

This won't work for everyone. But it might work for some people who've tried just about everything else they can think of.

Aya · **03-27-2015, 12:52 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:41 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: It depends on how much they've tried. If they've gone and done it and it failed, really. Seeing "You need to have confidence and do it!" while good advice, can wear someone down after awhile if it isn't exactly working for THEM. What works for some people, doesn't always work for others, is the thing. Confidence falters.

I'm not saying new people try really hard and fail all the time, but I have a lot of sympathy for people trying to break into this community - especially now, I did it when the game launched, I couldn't imagine doing it now - and I've seen a lot of people leave frustrated and wondering if there was a way to help.

And who here doesn't have sympathy? Isn't that why we're posting in this thread?Â If we didn't why would we be taking this time?Â

And really, I am sorry, but the only other advice I can offer is, "if at first you don't succeed, try try again."Â Its not just about trying, its about persistence, and about knowing that there are people out there who will want to meet you, even if you have trouble finding them. I'm someone who has gone out of my way, time and time again, to try to welcome new people, to make them feel comfortable, and to set them up with connections as best I can.Â I consider it a goal of mine to try to hook people up, and to encourage interaction and friend-making.Â And despite this all, I can tell you very certainly that the bottom line doesn't change.Â That even when you're "established", that even when you're "popular", finding RP is about interjecting yourself into new situations, and broaching social interaction.Â Its never about sitting and waiting for something to fall into your lap.

I really am entirely at a loss as to what you want.Â What sort of silver platter you're imagining that can be offered up as a replacement for being active and pro-active in the search for RP.Â I don't know what it is that's left you feeling that good, earnest encouragement is not only insufficient, but a signal of being unsympathetic.

ArmachiA · **03-27-2015, 12:57 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:51 PM)Melkire Wrote: What worked for me: writing up my own character's story, as it was happening alongside whatever the "cool kids" were doing at the time, and posting it in the Town Square (IC) board. I didn't stop writing when I started catching people's attention/interest, either. I kept writing, then I started getting pokes and Private Messanges and /tells from people. Then I started poking and PMing and /telling them back, asking for chances to RP with them in-game, if they would mind helping along a newb, what times would be good for them, etc.

This won't work for everyone. But it might work for some people who've tried just about everything else they can think of.

I appreciate this, this is an excellent idea. Telling people to get their stories out on the forums if they aren't having any success in the game may be super helpful. IC threads and such. Yeah thats a good idea.

Berrod Armstrong · **03-27-2015, 12:57 PM**

(03-27-2015, 12:51 PM)ArmachiA Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:47 PM)Berrod Armstrong Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:41 PM)ArmachiA Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:28 PM)Aya Wrote:
(03-27-2015, 12:17 PM)ArmachiA Wrote: If there is something we can do, I want to do it and I don't think "Just go do it" will help. They don't SEE your failures, they only see your successes, "Just go do it" can look very daunting and frustrating to people at times.
Isn't this the very essence of encouragement?Â To urge people to do that which is hard? That which is challenging but rewarding?Â To let people know that yes, its tough, but there is good reason to follow through?

It depends on how much they've tried. If they've gone and done it and it failed, really. Seeing "You need to have confidence and do it!" while good advice, can wear someone down after awhile if it isn't exactly working for THEM. What works for some people, doesn't always work for others, is the thing. Confidence falters.

I'm not saying new people try really hard and fail all the time, but I have a lot of sympathy for people trying to break into this community - especially now, I did it when the game launched, I couldn't imagine doing it now - and I've seen a lot of people leave frustrated and wondering if there was a way to help.
That's what these posts are for. All of them have valid advice that can serve as a big help to anyone looking to break through.

To be fair a lot of those posts are exactly what I'm talking about. "Get out there, here's what I did" sounds discouraging to someone who is trying and STILL failing, is my point. This actually happens a lot more often then you think.What do they do? The ones who have tried?

Try again, and again, and again until it works, or until they don't want to anymore. Try until they discover new methods, or unearth old ones. Those posts are an arm reaching out, and if someone is unable to take it, then the person extending the arm is only a PM away for more advice. None of us can wave a magic wand to conjure an ideal, or to give RP to the RP-less.

We can only do so much.Â

What would be your idea of a solution?

ArmachiA · **03-27-2015, 01:04 PM**

I honestly think Melkire gave one I hadn't thought of, directing people to the IC forum and getting them started there if they feel frustrated with in-game rp. the IC section is a great resource and should help alleviate some frustration.They still have to put in the work BUT it does make it so their characters are acknowledged by someone (hard to ignore in a thread-based rp after all)

That... was pretty much all I wanted. It's kind of a middle. The new rpers still have to get out there but they know they'll be acknowledged. It's a good idea if they feel like everything else isn't working. It may not work either, but it's something.

Warren Castille · **03-27-2015, 01:07 PM**

(03-27-2015, 09:27 AM)Warren Castille Wrote: I, too, was once new here. I made my introduction post, made my directory post, and then began writing an extremely brooding solo thread. It was half-adverstisement, really.I know not everyone is into longer-form writing or solo threads detailing their characters, but it's a great place to get started. It gives strangers a peek into your life and character, and makes it easier to arrange wanting to bump into them in the meta sense.

(03-27-2015, 11:28 AM)Berrod Armstrong Wrote: Another thing can be out of game hooks! The Balmung Bulletin Board is a GREAT place to read about the everyday lives of other characters and post things of your own. Otherwise, a player can start their own thread and post some writing that depicts their characters thoughts, actions and mood -- or perhaps an adventure or two! People see these things, and sometimes, people want to get involved.

Hmm.

Hmmmmm.

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