RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

Chakha Malqir · **01-27-2016, 04:39 PM**

Hey there! So I've been around for a good many years now, but I rarely ever RP'd seriously. I've been trying to get back into it with a backstory that wasn't absolutely bonkers.

So I was wondering if anyone had any critiques for my RPC profile thus far, so that I can address any critiques. I tried to keep it short so that I can fill in as I go. Thank you very much!

(RPC Profile is here)

Sounsyy · **01-28-2016, 02:01 PM**

I'm not really sure how old your character is, but based on his wiki it seems like he has a lot of things going for him on "natural talent" alone and not a lot of time actually spent learning these skills he's supposedly a master of? Which I'm sure could handwave, as many Thavnairians seem to have an affinity for being master crafters, especially prizing Alchemy.

-Thavnair Lore

Another thing I noticed was a repeated reference to "synthetic magic"? I'm assuming you're referring to the crafters and artisans of the Disciple of the Hand, which aren't really considered magic. They use the energy from crystals, sure, but the crafts themselves are physically made with raw materials and such.

Lodestone Wrote:For crafters, the art of synthesis is at the very core of their way of life, driving their industry. They employ a veritable arsenal of tools in working everything from the most delicate cloth to the most resilient metal. Through their labors, the traditions of Eorzea are kept alive, and her culture preserved.

Minfilia Wrote:I assume you are familiar with crystalsâ€”the elementally charged clusters of concentrated aether which craftsmen employ in synthesis? Then you will doubtless have gleaned on your travels that crystals can be difficult to procure, especially in the vicinity of the city-states, where demand is greatest.

Last point I wanted to bring up was your character's advancement into black magic, for a couple reasons: First, the art of black magic is a forgotten art since before the time of Belah'dia, making it very difficult to learn about, much less learn to perform on one's own as very few tomes survive that detail the dark art. It took Ququruka years to learn black magic, and decades more to achieve a mastery of it. I'm not saying it has to take that long, but it and Thaumaturgy as well, are implied to be a magic that one does not simply pick up. Secondly, it's strictly forbidden magic, outlawed across Eorzea. The Order of Nald'thal forbids the mere mentioning of it, its use punishable by a lifetime in gaol or death in some corners of the world. The last point was about the soulstone. While I love the idea of a skilled artisan crafting their own soulstone and imprinting their own memories onto it, it is highly dangerous to use black magic without a Gem of Shatotto. Even with a self-made soulstone, it may still be dangerous trying to employ more advanced black magic as your soulstone would be mostly blank and lack a former user's aether/memories to guide the channeling of aether from the environement.

-THM/BLM Lore Compilation

Yayake Wrote:You must first know our ways. And to do that, you must read our scripture. I sense...reluctance in you. Falter not in your resolve, as many lesser adventurers have. To read is to grow!

Yayake Wrote:Before departing, you will need to acquaint yourself with the wisdom found in these tomes. The prospect of scholarly study has been known to deter lesser adventurers, but I am quite sure it holds no fears for you. Of course, if you were to develop a sudden aversion to the written word, I would suggest learning what you could from your fellow thaumaturges.

Ququruka Wrote:Yet the pursuit of black magic was... trying. I would pass days, weeks, months at a time, unsure of how to proceed. What little progress did come, came but slowly.

Lalai Wrote:Following the War of the Magi and the Sixth Umbral Calamity, however, black magic was branded far too great a danger to life, and so its use and even its mere mention were made forbidden. Over time, it came to be forgotten entirely.

Zhai'a Nelhah Wrote:That being said, I am a conjurer. Were I to witness black magic used with ill intent, I would not hesitate to take action. Even if it were you, Lalai, I would hunt you down without mercy. You'd do well to not forget that my order still considers your black magic forbidden.

Dozolmeloc Wrote:Gem is proof that Sounsyy is true black mage. Gem brims with magical power. Without the Gem of Shatotto, impossible to control, the most powerful black magic is! Squaaawk! Lost control, these mages did. Aether within their own bodies ignited! Burned alive from the inside. Painful way to die, it is.

It seems like your character has a lot of award winning qualities, but not a lot of flaws or roadblocks to offset this. By your wiki it seems as if he's mastered everything he's set his mind to in a matter of a few short years(?) without any difficulty. Might I suggest making the journey to learning Black Magic that roadblock? Say through his studies as a Thaumaturge with the Order he discovers a mention to black magic...

Ququruka Wrote:I was an ambitious mage in my youth - insatiable in my thirst for knowledge of the arcane. In the course of my studies, I discovered ancient writings which told of a black magic.

...but he lacks the resources to delve deeper into the study of this art. So he attempts to create a soulstone in the likeness of the fabled Gem of Shatotto hoping to use his skills as an alchemist/goldsmith/artisan to offset the requirements of channeling through more dangerous channels. But perhaps it's still not quite enough, he can feel a burning every time he tries to probe deeper into the art. This could lead to some interesting RP, drives that personality flaw of questioning his self-worth every time he actually fails to make progress in black magic, and opens up his path to attempt to find relics, tomes, other magi, which might help him along the way. He likes to help people, but sometimes he might need help too.

Just some thoughts! ^^ Hope this helps!

Chakha Malqir · **01-28-2016, 02:24 PM**

That will help tremendously. Thank you very very much for the resources!

A Thavnairian Synthesist - Any Pointers?

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes