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A'kos · **07-25-2017, 03:21 PM**

(07-25-2017, 01:55 PM)Dayuuqi Wrote: I've seen the spectrum on this personally over the past 10 years of RP.

I've had "whole foods organic" relationship RP that lasted for years and was full of ups and downs and was fantastic.Â Â I've also had organic relationship RP that's been a freakin dumpster fire of annoyance and frustration OOC, no matter how well the characters seemed to get on.

My arranged relationship RP?Â Same thing, only often with less OOC trouble since both parties are going into it with a particular expectation. Sometimes it works out amazing IC and can make for a fun will-they-or-won't-they story of learning to love one another, especially if the arrangement is ALSO an arranged relationship IC, too.Â Sometimes, it turns out to be the worst idea ever conceived - the characters do not get along well at all despite what you expected (and not in the fun rivalmance sort of way) or even worse, the two characters are just freakin' boring together.Â

[Snipped] Â

Romance RP is always kind of a gamble, though.Â No matter how well you take the odds into consideration and count the cards, sometimes you still walk away from the table with nothing because it's a bad hand.Â While other times you just dump change into the slot machine and it spits out a jackpot out of nowhere.Â You just never know!

Represents my thoughts and experiencesÂ pretty well. Â I enjoy it, and even if I don't have a character actively looking to get into a relationship I usually hope it happens and keep them open to it. Â It can be a great way for a person to develop and a story to get an extra aspect that entertains and provides hooks for all. Â

These days, I don't mind some pre-arrangement. Â Not to say "yes, they're together now." but to set up the possibility where both parties are keeping it in mind that something could happen. It's communication, it keeps things from devolving into a hot oocÂ mess, as with any other form of RP. Â I've honestly had much better experiences this way than the whole foods approach.

Aaron · **07-25-2017, 03:52 PM**

I can never pre-plan or do organic RP cause I don't RP as everyone so painfully reminds me ;_;

I'M TRYING SIXTEEN!

Zhavi · **07-26-2017, 12:37 PM**

I've pre-arranged dysfunctional romance (can't get enough of it) and close platonic relationships. Most of the time these are with people I've rped with for a couple years, but occasionally someone comes along who surprises me.

I think something to keep in mind with any sort of pre-arranged rp is that there's a difference between tightly controlled micro-managed rp and loosely controlled macro rp. I think a lot of people are thinking about micro-managed rp in this thread, where you plan out every little detail (where the idea of things feeling forced or like you're stuck on a track even if it falls to pieces) and try to sort of correct for any changes that occur outside of the plans.

To me, when I pre-arrange dysfunctional relationships or those tightly knit platonic relationships, I only focus the micro attention to the stuff that happens before the rp occurs. Once that's out of the way, whatever happens in the rp happens. If things don't go the way I'd hoped, oh well. I don't feel disappointed, and I've never had anything crash and burn in a way that felt bad to me (though keep in mind I usually enjoy the crashes and burns in rp, haha). What I like most about rp is that sometimes it surprises, and no matter what the theme of the rp was supposed to be, unexpected directions are always a delight to work with, not something I frown on.

As to the why -- well, usually I have certain things I wanna write about, and I create characters that allow me to do this, and sometimes contact people about their characters to allow me to work with them on specific themes or plots. I don't see how romance would be any different to that kind of arranging. I only have a limited amount of free time, you know? I wanna spend it doing stuff I think is fun.

And sometimes putting two people in a sappy sweet relationship and then watching it slowly fall apart in a magnificent burst of awfulness is fun!

Iteza · **07-26-2017, 01:12 PM**

Hmm. I can see how sometimes it'd fit the purpose, like setting up a backstory, or maybe a couple just wants to stick together. Makes sense!

I personally try to avoid it, because it just has to be a spectacular ship for me to be on board. I am a huge fan of characters impacting one another and being a catalyst for growth. I don't think I could rp slice of life romance, not that there is anything wrong with it!Â

What I could see working out for prearrangement may be like... One sided love! Like you make sure the person is ok with your character crushing on them, so it doesn't get weird.

ArmachiA · **07-26-2017, 05:26 PM**

My personal opinion is that I don't walk into a game wanting my character to get into a romance so FOR ME I prefer the happy accidents.

However, I think there's valid reasons for pre-planned:

~ Most pre-planned RP I've seen are couples IRL. Romance RP can be... drama pretty easily, and some couples actually like, you know, acting like a couple in RP too. So you kinda avoid people trying to go after your SO's character while being happy RPing together. This usually works pretty well, honestly.

~ Only romance RPing with trusted friends. I have some friends who preplan RP together as they are long time RP Partners and trust each other not to cause drama. I totally get this, because even though I like "Happy Accidents" I still have a very strict set of guidelines OOCly before I'll get into a romance with someone. Some people just don't wanna deal with that at all.

~ You don't have a lot of time. Building a relationship, or even finding a character who your character connects with, takes time. A lot of time. And if you're looking for a partner for your character, it was be frustrating if you don't exactly have all the time in the world. We all go into RP for different reasons and some people believe that their character and/or stories don't have as much depth without some kind of second half involved.

It's not always love driven, desperate young people who want to blend OOC and IC to pretend they have an SO in the real world. That is definitely a thing, but there are people who do it just because they wanna cut out the middle man and believe romance is an important aspect of a character.

xypher · **07-26-2017, 10:36 PM**

I'm in the extremely small minority of "I would like pre-planned because I barely get even platonic RP as it stands so having SOMETHING that lasts more than one scene is honestly a dream come true."

I mean I do tend to "prescreen" and make sure they'd work but...

Idk. I feel like I don't have the luxury of being able to develop relationships because no one cares to stick with me longer than one scene, even if it's not for shippy purposes. I'll just be doing casual/story RP and then they never talk to me again even if I was polite and kind.Â Undecided

But that's my own personal--albeit whiny--experiences/reasons.

Edit: Not to say I wouldn't like a developed, unplanned thing. Hell, I would ADORE being able to go in to something blind and not expect a pairing out of it. I'm just saying I don't seem to ever have that opportunity.

RavieRaptor · **07-26-2017, 11:21 PM**

I kinda feel ashamed of myself after reading this. I'm not going to lie, I'm a sucker for some fluff and cute romance RP, but I've had to reverse affect everyone else had.

The two organic relationships I had: The one died ICly without telling me ooc (They were adorable though qq), and the other cheated on my character right before their wedding.

I don't know why I like it so much, maybe it's cause I can't get an SO irl? I've never had a romantic relationship irl and it kinda made me look at romance novels and roleplay for it. Maybe I just want my character to be happy in my stead?Â

You guys are more than welcome to bash me, since I have a rep for this kind of thing.Â

((Edit: I'm the same as Xypher on this, I'm lucky I get any platonic RP to begin with. I've been trying to reach out to people for normal RP though.))

maoilmhin · **07-27-2017, 12:07 AM**

I see attaching the expectation of romance to "Making Connections" threads as more of courtesy to people like me who don't have the background/experience to know what to expect. Â Being somewhat novice to RP and on Balmung less than 5 months, "organic RP" is scary and somewhat a myth. Â It is hard enough to find RP outside of the RPC Calendar events without a built RP social network. Â Quick Sand is the only place I know of that I can take my character and for certain have a RP interaction. Â (But Balmung Quick Sand is not the kind of establishment my character would visit ICly).

Having some expectations / boundaries established upfront can help reduce the tension or let the involved parties know it might be a waste of their time. Â Is declaring that there might be romance involved in the plot/interaction any different than declaring that the plot/interaction might include violence?

Momoka · **07-27-2017, 12:56 AM**

considering I am a CERTIFIED CRAZY MAGNET ™, I prefer to romance rp with only two people in the entire world. As such, my rp partner and I tend to preplan things, whether our characters are shipped ooc, or one was quite literally created to be the best friend of the other. Im simply not comfortable with strangers enough ooc, because I've had so many bad experiences, to rp such things with people other than Rik'var/my other friend.

Kaiverta · **07-27-2017, 01:47 AM**

(07-26-2017, 01:12 PM)Iteza Wrote: Hmm. I can see how sometimes it'd fit the purpose, like setting up a backstory, or maybe a couple just wants to stick together. Makes sense!

I personally try to avoid it, because it just has to be a spectacular ship for me to be on board. I am a huge fan of characters impacting one another and being a catalyst for growth. I don't think I could rp slice of life romance, not that there is anything wrong with it!Â

What I could see working out for prearrangement may be like... One sided love! Like you make sure the person is ok with your character crushing on them, so it doesn't get weird.

I agree with all points here. ^^

Aqah · **07-27-2017, 07:45 AM**

(07-26-2017, 10:36 PM)xypher Wrote: I'm in the extremely small minority of "I would like pre-planned because I barely get even platonic RP as it stands so having SOMETHING that lasts more than one scene is honestly a dream come true."

I have to back this as it is partly true of my own experience: on long-time perspective "organic" relationships between characters do not last. It may be not the deal of several scenes but nor in FFXIV, nor in other games I haven't managed to get a relationship for character that would last longer than 6 months without any OOC plan of both parties beforehand. The reasons were massive: in real life issues of RP partners, rolls of a dice screwed relationship (it sounds silly but significant and constant unluck can be harmful) or people just got bored with their characters and wanted to move on/leave game, etc.

So the more time goes, the more I prefer to stick with certain formula: first meetings and casual flirting are good to be on the whim of fortune, however for something more both player parties have to come up with a road-map for relationship and decide on the range of responsibilities they agree to uphold.

Kaiverta · **07-27-2017, 08:07 AM**

(07-27-2017, 07:45 AM)Aqah Wrote:
(07-26-2017, 10:36 PM)xypher Wrote: I'm in the extremely small minority of "I would like pre-planned because I barely get even platonic RP as it stands so having SOMETHING that lasts more than one scene is honestly a dream come true."
I have to back this as it is partly true of my own experience: on long-time perspective "organic" relationships between characters do not last. It may be not the deal of several scenes but nor in FFXIV, nor in other games I haven't managed to get a relationship for character that would last longer than 6 months without any OOC plan of both parties beforehand. The reasons were massive: in real life issues of RP partners, rolls of a dice screwed relationship (it sounds silly but significant and constant unluck can be harmful) or people just got bored with their characters and wanted to move on/leave game, etc.

So the more time goes, the more I prefer to stick with certain formula: first meetings and casual flirting are good to be on the whim of fortune, however for something more both player parties have to come up with a road-map for relationship and decide on the range of responsibilities they agree to uphold.

I definitely agree with an OOC roadmap. My IC relationships have all fizzled out because my characters' girlfriends never put in the work. They chased my characters hard, then once they were with them, it sorta fizzled out for them and they went on to do other stuff. Some of the players got busy, of course, but not so busy that they can't be logged in or at least send a one minute message saying what's up, etc.

Es'mena · **08-01-2017, 07:34 AM**

I can't speak for everyone, but one of the wider quoted reasons is trust. A lot of people don't want to risk jumping into writing something romantic with strangers, or others that they're not confident will maintain an IC =/= bond.Â

Likewise, some get the comfort and/or rush from writing being inÂ the relationship rather than getting to it.Â

It's definitely a preference thing and I don't think it's bad either way (not meaning that anybody in here was saying such!).

Six · **08-07-2017, 01:06 AM**

As someone whose crack is the will-they-won't-they, I couldn't really go for the predetermined romantic RP myself - but having had friends who swear by it I definitely understand the reasons why.

Most of them have been pretty much covered in this thread. There's a lot of people out there who're looking for an IRL romantic partner and using RP as an excuse, there's people who are very possessive when it comes to RP partners that have a romance with their character - there's a laundry list of worries that, while applicable to all RP seem to get amped up when romance is involved.

Not only that, but it ensures you have someone on the same footing as you for personal boundaries in RP. You're more free to explore the unpleasant aspects of relationships in your RP without worrying about your partner taking it personally or panicking - someone in this thread brought up dysfunctional relationships, and I feel like those are things that preplanning is made for. Same with nontraditional/non 'vanilla' relationships.

You don't really lose out on the fun of starting a relationship, either, depending on your partner. Maybe the characters go a way you weren't expecting, maybe things end up really rocky at the start. Who knows!Â

It's not my cup of tea - but I usually have a very small circle of friends I'd be cool shipping characters with as it is. People who are brave enough to do it with acquaintances have my respect and also worry, lol.

Kang · **08-19-2017, 02:28 AM**

While I prefer a plot to flow naturally, I can understand the appeal of pre-arrange romantic RP for those that want it. It's just like how some of us like romance novels, movies, or romantic comedies. And if you're in a situation where you know that that is what you want and intend for things to go, it's good to be clear and upfront about your priorities, rather than sitting and hoping for things to happen. Much like dating in real life.

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Why pre-arrange romantic RP?

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes