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Nara'to · **05-02-2015, 02:18 AM**

I want to start this thread off by saying this is basically just a means for me to both vent a little and try to give some incite on what it is like to be a new role-player. Â Most won't want to hear this but I'm just going to give my two cents and go from there.

I've been on this lovely server since February. Â I've dabbled into many of the jobs and the many different ways to play this game. Â Of them all though role-play is the one reason I chose to play on Balmung and I enjoy watching others role-play. Â I started to role-play in World of Warcraft and it introduced me into a world I felt I could enjoy.

Sadly though ever since coming to this server it is nothing like I thought it would be. Â I've been given advice, I've tried many different methods and when I rarely do try to roleplay myself I try my hardest to find interests. Â Not one thing has worked for me. Â And this is just my experience, they may not reflect others.

I feel like I am invisible here. Â I try giving others the benefit of the doubt and I have yet to give up trying to find random roleplay. Â I do not enjoy doing prearranged roleplay, I truly enjoy random RP. Â And honestly I feel that is why I can't find any. Â I feel like if I don't arrange to roleplay with people I will continue to be ignored by the masses and it honestly makes me feel depressed.

This server is starting to feel extremely cliquish, there are too many circles who just will not let anyone new in and again this depresses me. Â I honestly feel a lot of new role-players get this treatment as well unless they get extremely lucky.

I sometimes find myself sitting here trying to find role-play for hours and being ignored honestly makes me break down into tears to the point I just log off and try to cheer up. Â This server honestly makes me feel like I am invisible and it hurts.

I know no one does this on purpose and by no means is anyone required to role-play with anyone they don't choose to. Â All I am saying is if you continue to ignore people outside of your circles/clicks/RP FC's then you will lose out on a lot of potential role-players that can bring something good to the server.

Don't judge me harshly for doing this, I just wanted to vent and feel that this is the only way I can bring this to the attention of others in hopes that no one else has to go through what I do. Â It hurts when you're ignored and when a character you pour your heart and soul into continues to be ignored on a daily basis. Â I am sorry I chose to go Miqo'te and it honestly feels like everyone hates them with the way they go on about how they dislike them.

That is all I wanted to say. Â I am a very shy person and it takes ALOT for me to interact with people in this game. Â Getting ignored just makes it harder for me. Â I apologize should this offend anyone and I hope eyes can finally be opened to what is really going on here.

I will just not bother anyone and stick to myself. Â I won't return to this thread or even this site for some time due to the amount of hatred I will probably (and deserve) receive. Say what you will.

Nataru · **05-02-2015, 02:26 AM**

Tsk man I know this feel! But keep the chin up! Lots of folks that love some random rp! myself included! You ever see Nat wanderin around Ul'dah walk right up and tell her how awesome her jacket is :3 she'll talk your ears off. If I ever see you around i'll start an rp!

Divisor · **05-02-2015, 02:51 AM**

Know you are not alone here. I have trouble with this sort of thing a lot. Don't let yourself get too caught up in it, take breaks if you get that frustrated, and be patient. Persistence is key.

Blue · **05-02-2015, 03:04 AM**

Unfortunately the only way to get through this is enter a clique yourself... My group has very good ways to introduce new characters in the plot and to make them relevant, but sadly we are not what you're looking for, as we mostly preplan stuff through OOC chat/website.

As everyone has said, best you can do is keep trying till you find your own group.

ArmachiA · **05-02-2015, 03:51 AM**

Okay so I'm going to be pretty open with you right now, but I want you to know that I actually agree that it can be very hard for new RPers to get into RP and have tried, in my own way, to help with that. I'm on your side, despite what I'm going to say, it's just a harsher truth.

This server is MASSIVE. Because there isn't a few official RP servers most RPers have chose to roll on Balmung, this makes FFXIV's RP community one of the largest I've probably ever seen. We're all on one server and we're probably in the thousands (Though still in the minority, as there are about 35,000 total on the server) this makes it's easy for people to get swallowed. Are you invisible? Probably. But this isn't the fault of any sort of clique. It's the fault of how big the community is in the first place. I've said it a few times on here, but I've hardly seen anyone on the RPC actually in game unless they were in my FC at one point. I just met Erik OOC last week in game and me and him have both been playing since launch. It's easy to just... never see anyone from this forum. If there is a group you are specifically looking for, there's a damn good chance you are never going to see them.

Walk-up RP hardly ever produces long lasting connections. You like random and don't like planning ahead you are going to have a REALLY hard time making IC friends. Most people treat the Quicksand, or walk ups in general, as one shot RP to have fun or just look for a date or something. It's harder without actively planning, but if your the sort who likes one shot RP sessions and casual encounters, you won't really have much issues with it. Deeper Roleplay though? That comes with planning. It HAS to, just the way that it works.

Even look at FCs, while Fcs are a great way to meet an RP circle, if you look at the thread about what FC leaders want in a member, most of them said "proactive" because while we can lead a horse to water, we can't make him drink. I can show you where my members RP, I can tell you a bunch of them are rping in the mansion and to go join... but I can't make you join. You have to join on your own. You have to decide "Well there is rp going on, and I know about it and I'm invited, so I'm going to interact." As an FC leader, I can only do so much for you. I can give you the tools, but I CAN'T make you make anything with them. It doesn't matter how many times I say "It's an open invite, anyone can go." if you decide to stand in a corner even when I say that... I can't help you anymore. This of course requires some planning, too. In my FC we get you into the Company ICly, which is a preplanned meeting with Ellion Goto or one of the IC officers, and then we shove you into the fold. We have plots you can join that are planned for the FC, and we have random RP at the house. But it is, in essence, planning. Asking an FC member if they want to RP works much much better than waiting for them to be available.

One of my FC mates is extremely shy.She struggled with RP for a very long time because she would wait for one or two people to be around and try to talk to them. What really works for her is sending /tells and asking to rp ahead of time. That way she can control the number of people around (Too many is over whelming) and she gets some rp time. Planning has a LOT of benefits.

The thing is, we're not trying to be cliquey. I don't think anyone on the server is. For us, we have 70-80 members we can interact with at any given time and RP is rather easy to come by. BUT when a new member makes themselves involved we welcome them with open arms. We do have problems with people feeling like they aren't fitting in, but it's usually in their head. We like new people, we love new people! We however can't work with new people who do not work with us.

And thats the server. I understand you are shy, but you have two things against you here. You're shy and you don't want to ask people to rp in /tells, this is going to make you feel quite invisible.

I have a very large circle of friends in the game, I can find RP pretty much whenever I want, but if someone sends me a PM (hahaha that will never happen ; ;) and wants to RP with me? I schedule it with them! Barring any kind of plotline where my character is gone (Like right now...) I'm always up for meeting new people! I have sent PMs myself asking people to rp, and despite them having their own circle, they've always said yes. We do not know you want to RP with us if you do not tell us.

And that's the crux of the issue.

The thing is Nataru offering her character above is a sort of planning, which you don't really like, which kind of puts us between a rock and a hard place on trying to help you.

Nebbs · **05-02-2015, 06:00 AM**

Okay just to flip this..

I have a macro that searches for people off RPC that are new and want to RP, and that I feel I could engage with. Currently there are 10 on that list. I seldom get a hit, and when I do they get a /tell and a hello. Most of the time (90%) they are too busy to RP there and then, so it is "later".

Overall I maybe get to 3-4 people a week with some intro RP. Even if we do RP that is just a little thing and generally gets them an IC/OOC contact.

This "no RP" is not a one way thing. It take 2 at least to RP (though I can RP as 1 = sad)

What I have directly seen work is - Join a linkshell (mine in this case but I am sure others are similar)

get some immediate hello and interest
pick up on some of the RP when it happens
have some people to meet at events.. or go as a group
Q&A
even just friendly chatter
maybe get the inside view on some FCs

It is not a huge wave of RP, but you start with some contacts and you work it (just turn up and RP). Yes there are quiet times but better to be chilling with RPers than waiting alone and hoping (imo). And if that LS don't work try another.. you can have 8!

Kellach Woods · **05-02-2015, 06:18 AM**

Sadly, the Quicksand is atrocious for the kind of RP we like due to the limitations of FFXIV itself rather than the community.

Send a tell?Â Force an "in"?
It can easily get lost in the shuffle, and scrolling up with FFXIV's system is an absolute pain. IDEALLY people will have set separate tabs so they can catch tells, but not everyone does this and the little bleep is not nearly enough to get people engrossed into tabs.

No easy way to flag yourself as a RPer either - so that can also get lost in the shuffle.

Why do I mention the Quicksand when the OP didn't? 'cause it's the only random RP hub that people regularly go to. We've tried to establish others - nobody wants to go there and chill more often than not.

Best way, so far, is to join a LS/FC where you can get access to a larger set of eyes upon your movements and you can advertise you're going to that spot to RP if anyone wants to come with or meet up the character. Once that thing we're discussing in the Off-Topic forum (the RP in Progress forum) is up we'll have that tool as an overarching tool that isn't limited to 128 characters (wouldn't be so bad if it was ACCOUNTS but you know) and one that all of us can actually use since it's not LS restricted, and only serves as a radar to say "RP is happening in : THIS AREA RIGHT NOW" so we can go.

As far as LSes are concerned, Nebbs' very own is pretty good and non-judgmental.

* * *

I find open events hostile to rando people showing up. Generally, they're rehashing whatever plot you're not a part of and it's hard to get any sort of significant RP as anything but an observer. Which, well, isn't significant. A lot of Open events are anything but in my experience (I'm not talking about, say, tavern nights and other things. Those kind of events are hit or miss. Some nights are good, some nights aren't and you get as much as you put in for those) often serving to further the plots of one or two individuals rather than be actually open.

If I gotta act OOC in order to get RP at what's supposed to be a Open event what's the point, y'know? Don't build RP on false pretenses.

I'm not advocating not attending open events if you are able, just that don't be disappointed if you don't get anything from 'em. Two you can start with are the Grindstone (weekly, Saturdays, 10 Eastern) and the Shots Competition (Monthly, check the thread for more details). Grindstone, unless you're actively fighting, will be a lot more passive but you can find someone you like and cheer for them (or boo) or do commentary. Shots Comp the same but people are hella drunk so it's hilarious.

Read up on the threads as far as the rules of those events are concerned, and you're ready to go.

Gone. · **05-02-2015, 08:21 AM**

(05-02-2015, 02:18 AM)Nara Wrote: I feel like I am invisible here. Â I try giving others the benefit of the doubt and I have yet to give up trying to find random roleplay. Â I do not enjoy doing prearranged roleplay, I truly enjoy random RP. Â And honestly I feel that is why I can't find any. Â I feel like if I don't arrange to roleplay with people I will continue to be ignored by the masses and it honestly makes me feel depressed.

ArmachiA already touched on it but I'm going to go into more detail because the real crux of your problem pretty much comes down to this.

Meaningful roleplay through random encounters is the proverbial needle in a haystack.

Can it happen? Sure. Will it? Probably not. Of all of the RP partners I have available on my friends list, I can only think of three off the top of my head that I found by pure chance. Frankly I'm even amazed I have any to name. The odds are really that terrible.

The only two exceptions to this rule are:

A. You can thrive off of casual encounters.
B. You play a character that is fairly mundane and easily accessible.

If these apply to you, then yes, random encounters in a community as big as this one will be just fine. The rest of us, however, will only get what we put in.

I understand that it's hard to network when you're horribly shy. Trust me, I know. I've dealt with crippling levels of social anxiety for years. Still deal with it. You just have to push through and make that effort. That's the only real option if you hope to accomplish your goals.

Post all the Making Connections threads you can. Give us a reason to roleplay with your character, and yours alone. Reply to postings that interest you and try your best to contact those people in-game as soon as possible.

Join linkshells. Join a free company. Do anything you can to be proactive in your search for roleplay. The tools are there, you just have to make use of them. It's really that simple.

If you're not willing to step out of your comfort zone to put forth that initial effort, then expect to be disappointed, time and time again.

SicketySix · **05-02-2015, 08:58 AM**

Just a few questions.

#1. Have you joined any RP linkshells?
#2. Have you tried to join a RP Free Company
#3. Have you posted a topic, & replied to topics in the Making Connections?
#4. Have you engaged anyone from this site in game, while in character?

If the answer is no in ANY of these questions, then in my opinion, you don't really have any cause for a complaint.

Aris · **05-02-2015, 09:06 AM**

I'm sorry to hear you've had so much trouble. Especially with shyness working against you too; failing something reinforces the shyness which reinforces how difficult it is. It's a horrible cycle which I understand well.

The server is clique based - to be honest I doubt there's any escaping that in any MMO. Free Companies are a type of clique in themselves except often, as ArmachiA has shown, many are welcoming. I understand you don't want to plan roleplay, but joining a Free Company or LS might still help because at least it would give you some regular contacts that you can initiate regular, random, roleplay with. Which will ideally build into more substantial roleplay for yourself and your character.

You don't deserve to get any hate for this post, you've simply said the problems you're experiencing. I hope you come back and answer some of the questions people have asked, so we can approach the problem proactively.

T'caska Khevo · **05-02-2015, 09:38 AM**

I just wanna pop into this thread and pop out again real quick as most of you have figured that I like to avoid these types of topics.

It seems to me that you might be relying on the RPC a little too much. Yes it is a great way to plan RP and meet people... If you use the tools available. But on the other hand, I don't think I would be wrong if I said that there are more RPers that don't use the RPC than those who do. Meaning that if you use this website as your only pathway for random RP then you are cutting out a huge chunk of the community. Not sure if that makes sense with the way I worded it. I just woke up and haven't had coffee yet.

I was in the same place as you though, until i said Fuck It and stuck myself out there. Now I'm in 5 active RP LSs, have plans to meet up for RP concerning a possible FC for my character to join, a full friendslist of RPers only, and I'm starting to have trouble tracking down and finding time to RP with the people that contact me. How? By being proactive.

Just say fuck it and put yourself out there. Being shy is fine. Being shy and blaming others for no results? Not fine.

***Alothia*** · **05-02-2015, 09:42 AM**

I don't really have a whole lot to add except to offer advice when making characters.
I know people like to have their shy characters, but honestly, if you want to RP, you're going to have a hard time with a shy character.

Build in some reasons for your character to get out there, even if you're not particularly social. It makes things a lot easier in the long run.

But yes. Be proactive. Talk to people. Send people messages. Get involved. Get out of your comfort zone.Â

It's not easy. But it's worth it. If you ever need advice or anything, we're always here to help.

Lyriell · **05-02-2015, 09:52 AM**

I hear a lot of people complain about this kind of thing, yet I never really had to many problems finding walk-up RP's. A lot of people actually have "walk-up RP friendly" on their profile.

Though it is really dependent on the time of the day I admit.
I'm not sure if you're online during peak times (remember, this is an international server, so peaktime is usually in the evening/at night U.S. timezone) but I can assure you that you will definitely find Random RP during those times unless your character is too passive.

That's a problem with shy people in general, even in real life. You kind of need to make the first step sometimes, even though it might be scary. So maybe your character tries to overcome that barrier? Or maybe something happens that puts you into a situation where your character has to interact with people in one form or another?

There's always ways to make it happen somehow.

Max · **05-02-2015, 10:58 AM**

Quote:This server is starting to feel extremely cliquish, there are too many circles who just will not let anyone new in and again this depresses me.

The reason for this may be that muns have ongoing storylines with these characters, and it's difficult to involve newcomers that wouldn't normally fit the narrative. These type of interactions are more extensive than your average walk-up, which is what you seem to have limited yourself to.

Quote:I sometimes find myself sitting here trying to find role-play for hours and being ignored honestly makes me break down into tears to the point I just log off and try to cheer up. This server honestly makes me feel like I am invisible and it hurts.

Do you contact them (via whisper) before approaching? Are they AFK? Are they even IC?

Quote:I will just not bother anyone and stick to myself. I won't return to this thread or even this site for some time due to the amount of hatred I will probably (and deserve) receive. Say what you will.

Chin up, OP. Seriously.

I'm going to be completely frank. When I saw this thread in RPD with your name under the title, I'd already (accurately) guessed what it would entail. You've posted a lot in the past about not being able to find roleplay, and you've also limited yourself to only random encounters. This, mixed in with your shyness and your character's shyness, is curbing your chance for more interactions. You cannot place the blame on others for this.

There is SO much potential for RP on Balmung, OP. I just honestly don't think you're seizing the opportunities laid before you. Are you in a FC? This thread you posted awhile back indicated you were looking for one, and a lot of members here extended themselves to you. Did you take any of them up on their offer?

Like someone else mentioned, don't expect to get meaningful RP out of random walkup encounters. They're usually a tool to make contacts ICly, who you later elaborate storylines with.

It honestly seems to me that people here have tried to reach out to you, but you turned them down due to your aversion to arrangements.

Also, and I mean no offense when I say this; your character is a male Miqo'te. People will fail to notice you in a crowd because there are a gazillion. You need to make your character stand out more, and maybe make a wiki page or something. Anything to make him more distinctive. Otherwise he'll be faceless and people will be less inclined to reciprocate interest. My advice.

Sorry if I'm coming on too strong. But after reading your threads I just don't think it's fair to project Balmung in a negative light due to, what seems like, your unwillingness to adapt.

Warren Castille · **05-02-2015, 11:10 AM**

Hm.

This isn't the first time that you've mentioned this.

I'm not sure how to help you anymore.

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My Observations

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes