(10-26-2017, 12:18 PM)Aegir Wrote: I'm wary of people who complain a little tooooo much about /random. Or who spend a lot of time OOCly talking about beating the crap out of my character.
Actually, that's a good point even just on its own... I think I tend to stay away from people who spend a lot of time enthusing about getting one particular thing out of our interaction, especially if it's before we even start RPing.
Over-focussing on beating him up and making him suffer is a huge one, as is over-focussing on having sex with him. Especially if it's in generic ways and not in ways that are specific to my character's actual history and personality (not the tropes the person thinks he fits into). Either type of scene needs to be handled with maturity, knowledge of the character(s) involved, and a solid IC/OOC split in order for it to be interesting. Someone being so overly invested in... almost in conquering my character, in one way or another, especially without them showing any interest in the knock-on consequences and development it would cause for him? Makes me wary. Especially of what they'll say or do if the scene ends up happening in another way.
I do like to pre-discuss potential outcomes, and get a feel for the possibilities in a scene, but that's just it: possibilities. 9 times out of 10 not everything we discussed comes up in the scene. Sometimes none of the things we discussed come up, and often the spontaneous outcome can end up being really enjoyable... when it happens with a partner who's on board.
I don't want to feel afraid to pursue that because I think the other person is going to go off on me if they don't get "what they wanted", which, in my experience, is usually some kind of scene where their character comes out on top and mine ends up in the dirt.
I find I can't really articulate why it feels so uncomfortable to look back on memories (thankfully, all years old) where this has happened, but... it does.
While I was writing this I realised that I've actually rejected offers from strangers to RP on sensitive topics like sexuality and gender before due to the same feeling of concern - that the person probably wants "something specific" out of the scene, rather than to just put our characters together and see what happens. Since those topics are so sensitive on an OOC level, I fear the stranger being OOCly upset if they don't get what they wanted, and accusing me of hurting them on purpose. It ends up that I only RP those topics with friends I've known for a while, despite them playing a major role in most of my characters' outlooks on life...