(12-19-2017, 03:32 AM)Mermaid Wrote: snip
Personally, I'd rather take the "hope for the best but prepare for the worst" approach than assume the worst up front and make others prove themselves otherwise to me before there's allowed to be any sort of IC conflict. Conflict is what fuels stories and while that conflict doesn't necessarily have to be with other player characters, that's a facet that's unique to role-play and worth exploring to most people. I understand it can be hard to gauge reactions sometimes and that some characters or the role-players behind them can be unpredictable, but I don't believe it's fair to do something that could likely cause conflict (talking about sensitive information, committing a crime, doing something insulting to other characters, etc.), but then refuse to accept any consequences or let the RP flow in its logical direction because of a desire to avoid said conflict.
There are plenty of places someone could go to RP these things undisturbed, be it a personal house or FC house, or RPing in a linkshell or party chat, or even RPing out of game as many people do. Or just continue to RP in public but leave out the bits that are likely going to lead to outcomes you don't like. You don't have to RP with everyone, but having a few exclusions is different from closing off your public RP to strangers altogether. Some people just don't mesh, be it for personal reasons or just conflicting RP styles, and it's okay to avoid those people for you, but yes, I do think it's 100% rude to RP in public yet consider it to be a closed RP, or for someone to exclude anyone from joining if they are not doing it in exactly the way they want despite their approach being appropriate or even expected.
If someone wants to start conflict with my character and I think the prospects look grim for their character and they might not to take it well OOC, I shoot them a message about it OOC. If you think the RP might be approaching an iffy situation, you can reach out to the other person rather than expecting them to do it first. No one can know upfront what you are or aren't comfortable with, and while it never hurts to ask, something as mundane as eavesdropping on things that could be realistically heard by another character isn't something I feel should need them to check with you beforehand. You don't have to ignore people or make them prove themselves to you beforehand to avoid a potential bad situation that might never occur, you can just excuse yourself from the bad situation if and when it does happen. The great thing about RP and the internet in general is you can just walk away at any moment, retcon, blacklist if you have to.
Personally, I think it's better to deal with things as they happen rather than become aloof to avoid the possibility of them. It's a problem I think is rampant in MMO RP communities. Closing ourselves off for fear of other RPers being "bad" is how we get reputations for being clique-ish, alienating, and rude when we primarily RP in private housing or when we rebuke people trying to join in when we RP in public. Getting defensive with anyone we feel is not a "real" role-player and therefore may be a "troll" is how we get a reputation for being sensitive, dramatic, and socially inept. Ironically, we drag down the community with our paranoia of being hurt by other people in the community.