RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

GloryRhodes · **01-03-2015, 02:31 AM**

Upon walking into The Drowning Wench on a stormy night where the fisherman are in and the sailors have naught else to do, a traveler might be privy to one of Eorzea's most famous pirate shanties.

The Bawdy Twelve

Thaliak the Scholar
Reads a lot of books
Though he likes stick his staff
Into cozy little nooks

Nymeia the Spinner
Spins a weave so fair
Men have lived and died
Just to touch her pubic hair

Llymlaen, Navigatrix
Mistress of the seas
Always takes a little look
When any sailor pees!

Oschon the Wander
He's sewn his seeds so far
That any child he sees
He just says, "Yes, you are."

Bryergot the Builder
Built the world's tallest house
So that he looks outside
He can see down every blouse!

Rhalgr's the Destroyer
So when he comes to town
He never aims for what is nice
He aims for what is brown!

Halone is the Fury
With a heart as cold as ice
No she'll never leave her lover
Unless she's done come twice

Azeyma the Warden
Looks on her Miqo clans
It's true she's got peculiar tastes
"What's wrong with just one man?"

Nald-thal the Trader
Made a wise and crafty deal
"Listen my friend you cannot keep,
but for a gil I'll let you feel!"

Nophica the Matron
The eternal farmer's daughter
Knows just where is the softest hay
And she'll run slow until you've caught 'er

Althyk the Keeper
Always keeps track of time
And though he is an older man
Some parts still work just fine!

Menphina...
MENPHINA!

Telluride · **01-03-2015, 03:57 AM**

To repost from Nathan's own repertoire...

"I've caroused with a punk, a lightweight drunk
Whose legs were rarely stable
And a highland girl, with the bouncy curl
Who could bounce you under the table
And the Lala in the room who could consume
More than any Roe was able
An an Elezen gent with a constant bent
For awaking in a stable

There's not a noblewoman out there who's so wonderfully posh
That she won't become a trollop when appropriately sloshed...

A puissant Paladin might have a thick skin,
But pass along a pint and he'll fall to sin
Summoners, they say, can stick it away
On a crate of cognac every day
There's nothing that a monk or two won't do
When filled with ale of an amber hue
Nobody can splurge like a Thaumaturge, or half as far can spew

In the mornings, their adornings may be purposefully missed...
And wondering how they got bugger-all pissed!"

GloryRhodes · **01-03-2015, 06:17 AM**

A rather new song that can be hear sung throughout Thanalan and is beginning to range North.Â Oddly enough, The 7th Heaven in Revenant's Toll has banned the song specifically.

The Busty Lass From Vesper

Oh have you heard the men as they all cry
Of the lass so tall and fair and shy
With big blue eyes and big round eyes
The busty lass from Vesper!

I saw her walkin' to the pier
And I thought I'd catch her ear
After all what did I have to fear
From the busty lass from Vesper!

I said to her, "Can I have this dance?"
But she didn't even give me a chance
She just turned her head from my upturned lance
That busty lass from Vesper!

So I went on home to spend my time alone
And offered up a prayer to my dear Halone
To give me a vision while I rub my bone
Of the busty lass from Vesper!

Now I've been to Ishgard why the dragons fly
And I've been to The Shroud with the Keepers spry
But you've never seen such a pair of eyes
As on that busty lass from Vesper!

Out in Limsa where I drown my woes
Back in Mor Dhona where they crystals grow
Of that vision fair I just can't let go
Yes that busty lass from Vesper!

Never before has a Midlander
Hit my heart like a sledgehammer
I just won't be fine till I'm with her
That busty lass from Vesper!

Tavern Drinking Songs (Open) {NSFW}

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes