Community Full of Cliques

[Tiergan]

I am going to just link this ancient thread here: Random RP: Sometimes You're Not Being Ignored On Purpose!!

[Faye]

As others have said, the Golden Gala is not really a good example to gauge how easy it is to meet people at events. The chat scroll is awful. If you look away from your screen for five seconds, you can miss a post entirely, and the barrage of text is a lot to take in, so to spare their time and their eyes, rather than reading through every emote, most people just skim for the name(s) of the person/people their character is already talking to and read their posts and theirs alone, therefore they can miss a post from a person who unexpectedly walks up to them.

 

An hour is not a long time to try to find interaction when you're swapping from character to character, at least not in a place where so many people may miss your posts, or may take a few minutes to notice your character is standing next to their character targeting them and ask if you posted and scroll up to find your post. Others may be RPing with the people around them in /party or a LS to avoid the chat scroll, and may not even be watching /say and /em at all.

 

If you want to try to approach people at spammy events like the Gala, I recommend standing right next to them in clear view with them targeted, using their character's entire name in your post (i.e. "She walks up to Faye Covington," rather than "She walks up to the white-haired Midlander"), and perhaps sending them a /tell OOC to let them know you posted at them.

 

It's also important to remember that purely IC interactions aren't the only way to meet people. I was only at the Gala for a couple hours last night, and while there RPing of course with my RP partner, I also had two semi-planned walk-ups from two of my FC members, a walk up from someone I'd first met OOC via a shared linkshell and later began to RP with a few times, a walk up from an event worker offering drinks and food, and a walk up from someone I'd befriended OOC but hadn't yet had the pleasure of RPing with and whose character pickpocketed from my character, which led to an altercation after/outside of the Gala where my character had a few interactions with some more people both old and new. Barring perhaps my FC members, none of us run in the same usual social circles, so it was not the fortune of having a "clique" that brought me these interactions, but rather having pre-established OOC connections.

 

So on that note, on someone who does also know you OOC... make use of your pre-existing OOC connections. Even if you're looking for new people specifically rather than just RP in general, if you hang around people, you tend to meet their friends IC and OOC who may be strangers to you. Even as someone who knows you, I haven't really had any extensive interaction with you in the past year or so, especially not IC, nor have any of my close friends to my knowledge, even though you met some of them back during your time in HoD--that's not a complaint or anything or even a suggestion, just evidence that I don't think you've exhausted reaching out to every corner of the community here.

 

Jumping characters doesn't necessarily help find RP. If you constantly fantasia/namechange/retcon or alt-hop, people can forget or lose track of who you are. I'm not sure I even know your character name anymore, and probably haven't for a while. It can make the people you have built connections with feel like they're unimportant, or like they're wasting their time by interacting with someone who doesn't spend much time on the character they met or who will ultimately retcon everything. People who've enjoyed RPing with you and would like to again may not recognize your new character name and therefore may not walk up to you as they would have otherwise. And as for forging new connections, you'd be surprised how many people will approach you because they recognize your character name from your RPC posts or wiki, or because they've seen you around in the past and decided you were someone they wanted to meet.

 

Building up your name is a better way of meeting people than constantly building new characters to try to appeal to people. Play the character(s) you want to play and stick with them! A character that has more time put into them for past interactions and development will be more interesting than a new character created as an attention grab. This is a large RP community, so if you want significant interaction, you'll have to make your character appealing. (Also not sure if this is the case here, but I've seen people bail/alt-hop so quickly others didn't even have the time to reply to them or approach them if they'd even wanted to, so patience is key.)

 

And as my usual note--being here since launch, I've never had any problem finding RP, have never felt particularly ignored or outcast by the community as a whole, and have also never felt like a usual member of any sort of static clique (at least as far as RP goes). I think a lack of RP is a problem that requires introspection rather than pointing fingers at the community, as I wouldn't consider it a normal experience. If a sassy, socially awkward wallflower and subpar role-player like myself can never feel lacking for RP, then anyone can find RP.

[T'errin]

I'm going to be very blunt and say that this thread absolutely boggles my mind.

 

I was at the Gala for a short period of time last night as well, I didn't really expect much RP and my intention was really just on gathering hooks for the possible future, since I was going to be going to the Grindstone anyway. I was completely floored by the amount of people just sticking to their small groups, and yes, completely ignoring those who actually tried to engage themselves in it. Let me emphasize this -

 

COMPLETELY IGNORING THOSE WHO ACTUALLY TRIED TO GET INVOLVED

 

 

I have no trouble saying that I had a bad taste in my mouth when I left, and am very glad that the people at the Grindstone were very different.

 

However, then I get on here, see this thread, and am once again floored. I can't believe that people are actually saying shit like "It's your own fault that no one paid attention to you.", "Don't go to public events to make contacts.", or "People usually use private channels at events.".

 

Like, do you people realize how outrageously dumb this stuff sounds? Then proceed to have the gull to tell them "You just gotta get out there."? Are you kidding me?

 

That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event, then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.

 

Yes, people who basically do nothing (Like I did at the Gala), but expect others to RP with them is silly. People who actually try to get involved, but get ignored? No, that's absolutely not okay at all, and there is zero justification for it.

 

 

I didn't expect this to be my first post on here, but holy hell this thread rustled me hard.

[Valence]

I'm sorry if it sounds dumb or anything. I just stated the truth without any subjective value added to it.

 

That is the way things are. Maybe it's dumb. It's the blunt, honest truth. 

 

---

 

Note: smaller 'public' events are perhaps more suited to it. Although I feel like it's still trying to put a cart before horses.

 

Stop hurting yourselves and find a similarly minded FC. Find similarly minded friends. Then go out in the open and hurl yourself alone at a howling tsunami like the gala. It may mash you up to pieces, but at least you won't get out of it salty and broken since your whole circle of (potential) friends doesn't rely exclusively on it.

[Nodem]

As seen from the replies... Yes, people will stick with the familiar, their groups, or their contacts. However, it doesn't always mean it's on purpose. NOT ALWAYS. Chat spams are real, and things are easy to be missed. I can testify that it does happen, just because of the chat scrolls.

 

If you think a post was missed, the best thing to do is to send a tell, "Hey did you see my post?" I often get tells like this from people, and either ask for a repost or try to find it. Finding it always isn't an option, so I'll ask for a repost normally. It's an up arrow or two for you, but might be a page of text for me.

 

Cliques are real, despite what people might argue, however the entire community itself isn't that way. What Warren said above is something good to take into account. Don't build your character(s) for other people, but for yourself. As a non-courtesan Miqo'te RP'er, I'll tell you if you want to RP a miqo'te, do so. As a non-weeb Au Ra, if you want to RP an Au Ra, do so. I don't do popotos, mainly because of the movement animations. Same issue with Roe's. lol.

 

 

Public events are great to go to to meet people. I'd personally suggest something smaller at first, like a tavern night. The reasoning is because there's less people and spam typically, so people have an easier time keeping up and are more chatty.

 

At an event like a Gala, I will say that even in real life people with stay with their cliques or groups in huddled corners of the world. They stick with the norm unless they see somebody else they know appear.

 

 

I do agree with T'errin on one major thing.

That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event' date=' then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.[/quote']

It closes yourself off, and shows you're only willing to RP with a certain group. I know the spam can be real. I see it weekly. I get the reasoning, but it slams the door in everybody's face, especially if you're turning off /say and /emotes.

[Faye]

That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event, then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.

 

Because people want to RP the theme/atmosphere of the event and want to take part in it, want to support the event/hosts/community, and typically still want to keep the potential for new/unexpected interactions open, but also want to ensure they don't miss posts from the people they're RPing with and don't want to cause themselves any extra stress or pain. It's not a piss poor excuse, but a valid option for people who find large events difficult to stomach, which you will find there are a lot of in this community. Given that some of these people have very real problems (anxiety, reading comprehension problems, poor eyesight, migraines, difficulty focusing, overstimulation, low self esteem, etc.) often linked to medical issues and disabilities, I think it's pretty rude and downright offensive to demonize them when all they're trying to do is make the RP easier for themselves and/or their friends and just have a good time.

 

Hell, a lot of these people go to events, meet someone new, and then form a party with that new connection so they can RP without any strain. I won't say that no one in the history of XIV has gone to an event with a pre-established group and ignored everyone else there, but these people are a vast minority and not typical. Folks are not ignoring /say and /em out of spite and may not even be meaning to ignore them at all. They could be trying their best to read /say and /em, but tab to a different chat window to reply to their current RP and miss a post from a stranger. They could just not see the character walk up to them, if they are busy reading/typing in chat, or if their camera is not angled just the right way, if they went afk for a moment, or if the person doesn't actually target their character or only stands next to them for five seconds.

 

Mind you, this is coming from someone who only role-plays in /say and /em unless the person/people I'm RPing with strongly insist otherwise, because it's my personal opinion that any public role-play should be open and accessible (emphasis on "personal" and "opinion").

[Kilieit]

Please read the reasoning people have stated for why they "ignore" people (this word suggests intent, which is a false assumption) at big events. It was stated quite clearly and repeatedly, by multiple posters.

 

Why do people go to big events instead of staying home, and then RP privately? Simple: change of scenery. It provides a backdrop for something a little different. And as Faye described, it allows the culmination of OOC connections into IC ones (different from cold-call walkups!) that won't occur if you just stay in your FC room and pretend you're at a gala.

 

The "just get out there" advice was qualified every single time I read it in this thread with to make OOC connections, to attend smaller events, and so forth.

 

You're jumping to conclusions in your anger. Please re-read the thread and try to understand where we're coming from.

 

At the end of the day, NO ONE SPECIFIC PERSON IS OBLIGATED TO ROLEPLAY WITH ANY OTHER ONE SPECIFIC PERSON. There are people who aren't going to be wanting to meet new folks on any given day. That is their prerogative. Like I said in my post explaining that thoughts like this are maladaptive, I gave a few examples of why someone could be closed off from meeting new people - sick, tired, distracted, or anxious in their own right. Yes, even if they've shown up to a big event.

 

I don't think it's fair to call people stupid, say they aren't allowed to go into a certain area to RP (remember the Gala was an open-world event, not located in an FC premises...), or suggest they're being malicious because they aren't up for talking to you on that day or in that place.

[Aya]

That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event, then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.

If you cannot understand why people would move to a private chat channel during an event with immense chatscroll, I don't really know what to say.  I wasn't at the event, but I have attended similar ones in the past, and am a veteran of some very high-chat-scroll evenings at the Quick Sand.  I do not join private chats at these events (unless they are explicitly preferred by the organizers to keep public chat down, which I have seen before), but I completely understand why people would: the chat scroll is the sort of thing that cannot only detract from your enjoyment, but can be downright headache causing.  In the end people attend public events for the same reason that they attend any event: to have fun.  Whether or not that means being terribly outgoing, social, and friendly really depends on the individual and the circumstances. 

 

If people want to slip into private chat in order to be able to take a break from trying to scan the scroll, by all means they should not feel bad about doing so.  Its so easy to miss things during these events (not to mention how easy it is for characters to actually fail to load, or become unloaded even when targeted).  You simply cannot rely on either public chat, or visual recognition to actually get someone's attention.  Whispers are your friend.

 

I try to go out of my way to meet people I haven't before, and to try to involve those who seem to be off on their own.  That's just part of what I try to do as a role-player, and as a member of the community.  But, not everyone is the same way. Some are shy, some are tired, some aren't feeling very social.  They're not under any obligation, and if you approach them with a presumption that they owe you a connection, you're both being unfair and setting yourself up for disappointment.

 

The only real reliable ways to meet people and make friends is to both energetically put yourself out there, and to be persistent. This isn't fair.  Life isn't fair. Its hard, and its hard to make friends in an on-line community just as it is in reality.  Some people have an easier time with it, some have a harder time with it, and that unfortunately is the way it is.  We can screw up our eyes, and ball up our fists, and cry to the high-heavens about the unfairness of it all, but it will not change.

 

There's been some excellent advice offered in the thread so far, and I'd just like to re-iterate a few tidbits.

 

1) Public events are not good for meeting people.  You can sometimes introduce yourself to people, but that's as deep as things are going to go. There is too much going on, too many distractions, and too many barriers to deeper investment.  Sometimes people might step aside to engage in a deeper conversation, again, like reality, but more-often-than-not people spend most of their conversation time talking to people they already know, while mixing and only superficially engaging those they don't.

 

The chat-scroll makes the situation even worse.

 

After-Parties, and the similar, are vastly superior times to actually make a lasting connection. Once the event has quieted down and most of the people have left, the scroll becomes manageable and those remaining are most likely there strictly to be social.

 

2) Changing characters, and starting over again is a detriment to building contacts or making yourself known.  One way to stand out is simply to be recognized.  Even if someone has never met you, or talked to you, if they've seen your character about many times before, or have noticed them even by happen stance, or through forum post, or tumblr, or anything, they're more likely to decide to walk up and introduce themselves, or be interested in engaging.

 

Faye pointed out that people are not as interested in devoting their energy to developing relationships with characters who they do not expect to last.  I think this is spot on.  It takes investment of energy from both sides to make a connection.

 

Similarly, my usual advice to people trying to make friends is to find groups or linkshells and simply make sure to always greet people, and say farewell before leaving. Just be there get your name out there and make it recognizable.  Changing names all the time is likely to completely undermine your efforts to become part of the community.

 

3) Everyone needs to vent at times, and its probably a healthy thing to do.  But publicly complaining, and wagging a finger at the "community" is not likely to improve your chances or people's willingness to engage with you.  They do not want to become the scapegoat, or the next example of animus, nor do they want to feel the extra "pressure to perform" when it comes to trying to engage with someone.

 

Failure to have engaged anyone is not usually a sign of hostility or malice.  There are numerous reasons why people may have failed to connect that cannot be attributed to either of those.

 

Lastly, Verad is an amazing fellow. He loves to RP, and will use hooks and ropes to haul anyone into conversation.  He also has an unbelievably large community of friends.  Take his invitation, and make one of the best friends you could make on the server!

 

Addendum, for #~5) Warren had an excellent note. Truly excellent. Build a character for yourself. A character that you find interesting. That you want to play. That you want to invest in. Be proud in that character, and unabashed. Don't change for other people. That's not to say that change is bad, but that change should be something that you want not something you think other people want.

[Virella]

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay. If you can't find it, it's your problem, no one else's. Maybe just, you know, step up instead of whine.

[Skae]

Please read the reasoning people have stated for why they "ignore" people (this word suggests intent, which is a false assumption) at big events. It was stated quite clearly and repeatedly, by multiple posters.

 

Why do people go to big events instead of staying home, and then RP privately? Simple: change of scenery. It provides a backdrop for something a little different. And as Faye described, it allows the culmination of OOC connections into IC ones (different from cold-call walkups!) that won't occur if you just stay in your FC room and pretend you're at a gala.

 

If they deliberately turn off /say and /em (as some people say they do), then the ignoring is most certainly intentional - and quite rude in my book.

 

Are you really saying people go to big events just to use all the other player characters there as scenery backdrop?

[RavieRaptor]

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay.

We never said anyone was entitled to giving us roleplay. We just feel left out. Like if you're the last person to get picked on a team. It feels the same way.

[111]

Is this the new thing we're mad about.

 

We haven't had a get mad thread for a while.

[Virella]

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay.

We never said anyone was entitled to giving us roleplay. We just feel left out. Like if you're the last person to get picked on a team. It feels the same way.

Then step up. Instead of waiting to be picked last, be that person who picks the team. It's not that hard. You're making roleplay found as if it's some hard, tedious task.

[Skae]

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay.

 

That's a really good way of making people feel welcome......not!

[Aya]

If they deliberately turn off /say and /em (as some people say they do), then the ignoring is most certainly intentional - and quite rude in my book.

 

Are you really saying people go to big events just to use all the other player characters there as scenery backdrop?

People can go to events for whatever reason they want.  As long as they're being respectful to the organizers and the attendees, why should they be complained about?  Why should anyone presume they should be able to dictate the only proper reason to attend any event? 

 

This is a game.  We play it to have fun.  People have fun in different ways, that shouldn't be hard to respect.

[Virella]

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay.

 

That's a really good way of making people feel welcome......not!

Truth hurts. I know. By all means, continue not feeling welcome instead of taking care of your problems like a responsible roleplayer.

[Faye]

Please read the reasoning people have stated for why they "ignore" people (this word suggests intent, which is a false assumption) at big events. It was stated quite clearly and repeatedly, by multiple posters.

 

Why do people go to big events instead of staying home, and then RP privately? Simple: change of scenery. It provides a backdrop for something a little different. And as Faye described, it allows the culmination of OOC connections into IC ones (different from cold-call walkups!) that won't occur if you just stay in your FC room and pretend you're at a gala.

 

If they deliberately turn off /say and /em (as some people say they do), then the ignoring is most certainly intentional - and quite rude in my book.

 

Are you really saying people go to big events just to use all the other player characters there as scenery backdrop?

 

People don't turn off /say and /em (at least, I haven't met anyone who does to my knowledge). The chat window has different tabs. People may be in a chat tab that does not have /em and /say active and occasionally check back to a tab that does to see if they've missed anything (particularly if they notice someone standing near them or targeting them), or they may float out the tab with /say and /em to have it active to glance at, but primarily pay attention to the tab in which they're RPing. No one is using other player characters as scenery, they are going to the event for "a change of scenery" as in the sense that everyone at any event is there for that very reason, whether they're RPing in /say or elsewhere.

[Edda]

"Don't go to public events to make contacts."

 

Like, do you people realize how outrageously dumb this stuff sounds? Then proceed to have the gull to tell them "You just gotta get out there."? Are you kidding me?

 

I could be wrong since I can't read, but I don't think anyone's actually said 'don't' go to public events to make contacts. Most people have simply been advising against it. Which is pretty reasonable. It's not easy to do for a bunch of reasons - people attending large events with their friends and wanting to focus on that, immense chat scroll, wallflower vs. wallflower (like two ships in the night...), etc. If you're hedging your bets on making strong lasting contacts at a massive RP event, chances are you're going to end up getting frustrated and let down. It's not impossible, but it's a poor place to start.

[Kilieit]

Please read the reasoning people have stated for why they "ignore" people (this word suggests intent, which is a false assumption) at big events. It was stated quite clearly and repeatedly, by multiple posters.

 

Why do people go to big events instead of staying home, and then RP privately? Simple: change of scenery. It provides a backdrop for something a little different. And as Faye described, it allows the culmination of OOC connections into IC ones (different from cold-call walkups!) that won't occur if you just stay in your FC room and pretend you're at a gala.

 

If they deliberately turn off /say and /em (as some people say they do), then the ignoring is most certainly intentional - and quite rude in my book.

 

Are you really saying people go to big events just to use all the other player characters there as scenery backdrop?

 

No. Like, if I really didn't like this guy Nofriends Jones for some reason, and every time Nofriends Jones turned up to an RP event I muted /s and /em, then I'd be deliberately ignoring Nofriends Jones.

 

Oh, but wait, wouldn't I just blacklist Nofriends Jones if I wasn't interested in ever hearing from him?

 

Right.

 

Characterising the act of choosing which avenues to participate in as a deliberate and malicious act of exclusion is egregariously entitled. It's like saying that everyone who didn't show up to the gala (including me, btw) was deliberately excluding people from an opportunity to meet their character... ridiculous.

 

Even at public RP events, some people are not going to want to RP with you, and that is their choice. It's a perfectly reasonable and permissable choice.

 

Again, for the third time: maybe they're sick, tired, distracted, anxious. Maybe they dipped their feet in at the event but it's too much and they don't want to ask their friend to leave, but they can't really stomach the thought of meeting new people either, so they have a /p chat with their friend while their friend socialises more generally. Maybe they're hoping to catch someone they met OOC and have yet to make IC contact with, and they're worried if they start talking to someone else they'll miss the opportunity they've been looking forward to. Maybe they're getting a migraine and reading dozens of lines of text is making it worse, so they simplify their chatlog to make it easier on them for the time they have left before they need to go lie down in a dark room. Maybe their kid is sick and they need to be able to AFK at any given moment, but they still really like the ambience and seeing everyone around OOC even though they're not up for IC interactions right now. Maybe they're only really interested in watching the competition or stage events that are usually hosted at these things, and anyone else approaching them makes them lock up in fear of what the person wants from them.

 

All of these things, and more, could lead to someone """ignoring""" a walk-up. But NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE MALICIOUS. None of these things are personal. None of these things have anything to do with you. By assuming they do, you're thinking the worst of the community, when in actual fact we're all just people, trying to get by and enjoy a hobby.

 

TL;DR: What Aya said but longer.

[Aya]

And as others have said, don't lose heart and just play what you want. Don't keep changing characters to see what sticks or who might be more popular. RP should be fun because you are playing who you want to play.

I'm still reading through this thread in more detail, and finding gems like this one. 

 

I know that sometimes the challenges of meeting people can feel and seem insurmountable.  Failure and the feeling of rejection (warranted or not) are terrible things, and are absolutely no fun to deal with.

 

Its also not the same for everyone. Some people face greater challenges than others (though I would urge no one to take the struggles faced by anyone else, even those they may imagine as being effortlessly popular, for granted).  And the community, in whatever form it takes for that individual, can feel vastly more antagonistic than helpful which is truly unfortunate. 

 

But there's some great advice in here (like Roen's), and so many well-intentioned people (my suspicion is that everyone posting is well-intentioned, even if the content of their posts isn't what everyone wants to see).

[ExAtomos]

See, unlike you, I actually have to approach people to let them know I exist. I've made all different types of characters over 20+, just trying to get people to notice me and accept me into their rp groups. I probably have spent over 100 dollars on fantasias and name changes alone. It's always different reasons: If you play a miqo'te you're a slut, if you play an Au Ra you're weeb trash. If you play an lalafell, you're not taken seriously. If you play a midlander, you're boring and unoriginal. These are the many conflicts I have that I've heard from others when I make my characters. I can't find that niche.

 

Yeah, that seems to sum it up. I'm always scared people won't like me. I've had past issues where I hung out with one person and lost a whole group of friends and got kicked from my FC cause of it. I didn't realize till later how right the group was about said person. Ever since I haven't really found a character niche to make for RP, as mentioned in my previous comment.

 

These two bits stuck out to me.

 

As others have said already, pick one character that YOU like to play and stick with them. Changing looks & names like hats is really off-putting to others. They don't have time to get to know one character before you've discarded it. How can they believe you'll hold up your end of any long term RP plots if there's a good chance you're going to throw that character away next week? Try to not stay hyper-critical of your character. Like them; grow to love them; write blog posts about them and takes tons of screenshots to post somewhere. Develop their back story. Have fun with them!

 

I can tell you, as someone who actively plays several characters, it is VERY difficult to build RP relationship if you play many alts. The difficulty you face breaking into good RP social circles with ONE character... multiply that for every other character. (Hell... in my experience, it may be exponentially more difficult >_>). But I am committed to this style of playing and will stubbornly work extra hard to build RP relationships with others. I've been on Balmung a year now and am STILL working on this... But really, good RP is a relationship, you have to KEEP working at it, not just rest on your laurels once it's started.

 

As for that last bit, about being ostracized due to who you hung out with... I'm sorry, but it may take some time to repair this rift depending on just how bad it was. You may have to start over with new social circles completely and just know that you will need to constantly prove you aren't a bad guy.

 

Oh, and this part...

 

See, unlike you, I actually have to approach people to let them know I exist.

 

No matter how well known or 'in' someone is now, we ALL started from nothing. Every blessed one of us.

[Tyndles]

Going to a public event of scale is like going to a nightclub. It's loud (chatspam) and awkward to do  alone.  You might get lucky and find your friends, or make new friends, but people generally go there with people they already know to enjoy the atmosphere.  The place to make new friends is by finding characters with similar interests/traits as yours and doing that.  On a WAYY smaller scale.  If you are making 20+ characters and none of them are clicking, then the error is NOT on them, it is on you.

 

My character is a monk that has taken up hiding in Ul'dah by blacksmithing.  For the last 3 years I've had fun with him doing that, but wanting to expand my RP crowd, I opened up a shop and threw up advertisements to let them come to me!  

 

And ready to RP monk stuff now that monk lore is likely to be expanded on in the new expansion, I went to where all the monks are and asked around and found a small group of people RPing and BAM!  There I was, with new friends to RP with.

 

Change your approach.

 

 

Also anyone that thinks a lalafell can't be taken seriously is bad at FFXIV.  Lalafell are the easiest to make joke characters and parodies with, sure.  But REAL lala RPers are awesome.

[Teadrinker]

[Mod Plague Mask On]

 

We saw this one from the very beginning but want to give the thread a chance. Stay civil guys. Everyone has their opinion on the subject. Don't want to close the thread but it will happen if it must.

[Mod Plague Mask Off]

[Max]

This is purely anecdotal, but I've never ever had trouble finding roleplay -- the community is just massive on Balmung. A lot of people are shy so are hesitant to engage others, but are ecstatic whenever you give their character the time of day.

 

Join a FC, go to the Quicksand, go to (smaller) events. Actually have a character that goes up to people and engages conversation.

 

What especially annoys me is when a shy person roleplays an equally shy character and ends up feeling left out because they're overly reliant upon others approaching them instead of the other way around. Not saying you're like this OP, it's just behavior I've noted from people with similar complaints.

 

And of course it isn't just shy characters who have this problem. Some people play uninteresting characters. Or maybe their writing is horrendous. Or maybe their gimmick ruins your immersion. Or maybe something something something.

 

But that's the great thing about Balmung. IMHO our roleplay population is very diverse, and there's at least someone for everyone. So I simply find it hard to believe that it's THAT difficult for someone to find roleplay unless they're inhibiting themselves in some shape or form (knowingly or unknowingly).

 

I won't be as... uh, harsh as the Angry Ala Mhigan Grandma, but I share her assessment that sometimes we must look at ourselves to discover the problem.

[Teadrinker]

That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event, then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.

 

Because people want to RP the theme/atmosphere of the event and want to take part in it, want to support the event/hosts/community, and typically still want to keep the potential for new/unexpected interactions open, but also want to ensure they don't miss posts from the people they're RPing with and don't want to cause themselves any extra stress or pain.

 

I did this.

 

I don't get a lot of time for any one on one RP with a certain person due to their OOC schedule and this was a nice event so they went together and mostly paid attention to each other. It's not a crime.

 

I responded to every walkup as well. Did I initiate any? No because that wasn't what I was there for.

 

/shrug

 

Edit: Also all the walkups I got were from people my character already knew. I never received a walkup from a new person.