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Community Full of Cliques


RavieRaptor

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No; nobody's obligated to RP with anyone. Full stop.

 

Even if they're at an event. Even if they have their RP tag up. Even if you really really want to RP with someone and everyone else so far has said no.

 

 

Depends on what you mean by RP. If they are RP-ing in a public RP event, then I'd say they are (morally) obligated to at least respond to others attempts to RP with them - even if it is only to tell the others to go away and stop bothering them. That too is RP - brief as it may be.

Much like real life really - you are not obligated to have long conversations with anyone who may approach you, but not making any response (verbal or otherwise) when they address you is typically considered quite rude.

 

Nope. Still disagree.

 

[tone: casual/jovial]

 

Bro, I'm autistic. I'm not going to be making any response to you if you try to strike up an IRL face-to-face conversation with me, because I a) probably didn't hear you, b) probably didn't understand what you said (especially if it's crowded), and c) physically cannot speak to you in return (because selective mutism r0xx0rz). And actually, most IRL strangers just assume that I didn't hear them, and move on to trying to talk to someone else?

 

If my lack of reaction offends you, then I'm sorry, but that's your issue. Do you have any way of knowing any of that about me? No - I don't "look autistic" (nobody does, but I mean, I don't use an AAC or anything). But if you assume I'm a non-disabled person who's capable of giving you the smile you want because you demanded it, then get disappointed because I'm not? Man, I can't change that about myself! But you can change your assumptions.

 

That's what I'm trying to say. By carrying this unreasonable expectation, you're creating avenues for disappointment when it's not met. Adjust your perceptions going forward, believe in the best of the people around you, and be at peace with the community the way it is. Find your niche, build a rhythm, and enjoy yourself. No one's stopping you!

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I am not sure that everybody concerned is suddenly suffering from the same ailment though... Sounds rather specific.

 

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay.

We never said anyone was entitled to giving us roleplay. We just feel left out. Like if you're the last person to get picked on a team. It feels the same way.

 

I was just going to ramble again on how poor the choice can be to look for your first few contacts at massive public events, but I think everything has already been said about that.

 

If you have a wiki, or want to get potential longer lasting RP contacts, and if you are not afraid of playing with a loremonger with specific RP tastes and ideals, feel free to hit me up.

 

I can assure you that I am definitely not the type to offer RP contacts and then vanish after 2 weeks. This has actually grown into a true pet peeve of mine over the time that prevents long lasting RP relationships and adventures, which eventually made me pretty much allergic to every kind of RPC connection thread ever (mine or someone else's). My friendlist is basically full of 2 weeks old ghosts.

 

I think that's actually one of the true issues with the community since people (like myself) eventually close themselves off the rest of the community since experience proves that people are just rude and fickle.

 

Yay for the fast food RP era I guess. Almost feels like queuing up for duty finder, Roleplay Roulette.

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Every sensitive topic thread that comes up tends to get grilled a little in the Void to some degree.

 

There's still some good information that's being put out here among the occasional spat of vitriol. The unhappy truth that no one really "owes" you RP, methods to go about trying to reach out and develop more long-term RP, the general idea that you should make a character for yourself first and foremost over a character you think others will like, and avoiding character-hopping to allow for relationships to develop. Even the point that cliques exist both here and in real life and that they're inherently not a bad thing - that social circles are cliques. It's all good information.

 

The fact the topic is getting ribbed is mostly because it's a frequent issue that arises, and the thread itself attracted a lot of attention. It's not something to get disheartened over.

 

And neither is the lull in RP. You've already gotten some potential one-on-one RP lined up with Verad, just keep doing stuff like that. Find people through the RPC or tells or what-have-you that you find interesting and try seeing if they want to RP with you. And, as mentioned, with a character that you yourself find fun to play rather than trying to tailor your character to fit what you think others want.

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The fact the topic is getting ribbed is mostly because it's a frequent issue that arises, and the thread itself attracted a lot of attention.

The sleepy RPC woke up :)

 

I wouldn't feel bad, its something that nothing else has been able to accomplish lately :-D

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Every sensitive topic thread that comes up tends to get grilled a little in the Void to some degree.

 

There's still some good information that's being put out here among the occasional spat of vitriol. The unhappy truth that no one really "owes" you RP, methods to go about trying to reach out and develop more long-term RP, the general idea that you should make a character for yourself first and foremost over a character you think others will like, and avoiding character-hopping to allow for relationships to develop. Even the point that cliques exist both here and in real life and that they're inherently not a bad thing - that social circles are cliques. It's all good information.

 

The fact the topic is getting ribbed is mostly because it's a frequent issue that arises, and the thread itself attracted a lot of attention. It's not something to get disheartened over.

 

And neither is the lull in RP. You've already gotten some potential one-on-one RP lined up with Verad, just keep doing stuff like that. Find people through the RPC or tells or what-have-you that you find interesting and try seeing if they want to RP with you. And, as mentioned, with a character that you yourself find fun to play rather than trying to tailor your character to fit what you think others want.

I never said that anyone owes me RP though. People just assume this. ;;

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I never said that you said that either. Just that it's a good tidbit of information that was raised during the discourse of the thread. A bit of a sad truth, but good to know.

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I already regret making this thread. Now I'm probably hated since people are making fun of it in the void forum. Mods please delete this thread. Thank you.

 

Don't worry about it. People care less than you think. RPC is only a fraction of the community (esp. vs Tumblr), and people would much prefer to RP with you and get along OOC than be like "Naaah this person did a bad post in RPC". Trust me on that, I've done some bad posting and Kale is p well-known and -liked regardless.

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I already regret making this thread. Now I'm probably hated since people are making fun of it in the void forum. Mods please delete this thread. Thank you.

 

Take a deep breath.

 

Let it out.

 

Take a step back.

 

Large communities are inherently contradictory. On one hand, they're easy to find a multitude of people to rp with. On the other hand, large communities mean you're going to experience a much wider range of rejection.

 

And that's what this post comes down to: how to handle criticism and rejection, and what you make of it.

 

I am not denying that you've had a difficult time, or that it has been hurtful or demoralizing. That is your experience, and no one can invalidate your feelings. However, in writing communities, and gaming communities, one of the keys to dealing with it is how you plan for it, and how you manage it. There are many ways you can go about this, but the key here is to find a way that works for you.

 

It sounds like your method thus far has been to jump around on different characters. I'd propose that your theory as to why you're having issues -- that your characters are flawed or boring -- might not be what's going on. I can propose some solutions or thoughts as to what is going on, but it's going to be useless to try to help you work through unless

 

1 - you want to try to figure it out.

 

2 - you're open to some objective thoughts and criticisms.

 

You have to be ready to hear things you might not want to hear, and you have to be ready to possibly change things oocly (how you approach people, your attitude, your methods).

 

If you want to do so in a more private setting, please send me a message.

 

I will emphasize: you have to be open if you want help. If you just need to vent, that's an entirely different thing.

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What's the Void forum?

 

How have you gone this long without knowing about the best part of the boards?

 

I've never heard of it either!

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I'm a bit late and everyone already told you the best advice so here is a story:

 

I started re-playing ARR during 2.2 (I think) and decided to move my character to an RP server. Initially i was scared because Arala Makeo was not 'miqo'te' of a name...but then...

 

One person changed not only my RP life but my character. Over something as simple as stew.

From this interaction, i got to know more people and more players, attending events and private ones. I got to meet more people randomly, got invited to more events as time went on.

 

But i didn't mention that i put actual effort to get noticed or open RP. I accepted anyone who approached me. Whispers and all. the story that i wrote and events i played out for not only this character but a second i was making (Alyx Quintessence) was possible because of those who were involved. I actively reached out, talked to them, made plans, put together smaller events, got everyone involved, even let a few people have those glorious RP moments over mine.

 

I didn't suit their needs, nor did they. I merely put effort into the work I was doing. And all that time i kept my head high enough to never look too negatively at my character.

 

That said- The RP connections are out there, you just have to look and ask. If you want to RP with certain people, that is what the connections forum thread is for. Outsource to other places. PM and whisper players both ingame and forums. BE ACTIVE! (Ironic considering i'm less active atm :P)

 

Also here's something i hope will life your spirits.

KxGRhd_iWuE

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I already regret making this thread. Now I'm probably hated since people are making fun of it in the void forum. Mods please delete this thread. Thank you.

 

As someone posting in the Void, I can tell you that no one hates you (at least, I don't, and I doubt the others do). We find the "oh no the cliques!!" argument to be sort of silly (as we already voiced here but in a more respectful and coherent way), and we like to poke fun at things like that, but you are far from the first person to make a thread like this and nobody hates you for it. We just like to shitpost and vent in our own way.

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I already regret making this thread. Now I'm probably hated since people are making fun of it in the void forum. Mods please delete this thread. Thank you.

 

The very first thing you have to do is stop trying to please others, and stop expecting them to please you. Don't worry about if people make fun of you or what they say. That's just part of life.

 

 

I'm brand new to this game/community as well, and sure it's hard to break into an already established place where people have known each other for years. But that doesn't mean there's no room for you.  I've found -plenty- of people interested in RP with me already and I'm barely putting myself out there. 

 

It's not because my character's face is a certain way, the hair color is perfect or anything else visually. I just tend to be more outgoing and interact with most people who invade my space in a friendly way. Even out questing or killing mobs, sometimes a quick emote goes a very long way. Examples could be your character wiping off their weapon after a kill, having them talk to themselves with random thoughts, your character looking over a map, taking a seat on a nearby rock to catch their breath, or simply asking someone else in a quest hub if they know the way to *insert nearby town*. I met my RP partner of 8 years when he made fun of my characters dress way back when, and we're still RP'ing to this day. 

 

And like someone else already said, just because your character hasn't IC met the people around you, doesn't mean you shouldn't use their proper name in your emotes (as long as you aren't addressing them directly). It will catch an eye here and there and you will find people responding.

 

But really, stop worrying about everyone else around you and what they are doing in their preset groups. There are thousands of people on this server it seems, but it'll only take 1 or 2 to kick start your RP life. And then networking is key. So focus less on the masses, and more on the few who aren't buried in a group of people.

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As a mod, I'm reluctant to delete this thread, because I think a lot of the advice here is sound advice.

 

Trust me, I feel your pain. I was a really active RPer back in 1.0. I was fairly well known, and people still know of me, but getting RP nowadays is tough.  A lot of it is due to my own schedule and shortcomings, but I understand your frustrations.

 

Sometimes you just need to sit down and work out what isn't working out with your characters.

 

Sometimes you need to find the right event to meet people at.

 

And sometimes, you just need to find the right person. Don't give up faith and hope that it'll happen. And don't blame everyone else. Doing stuff like that will sour people toward your character, unfortunately.

 

You'll find your stride eventually.

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I already regret making this thread. Now I'm probably hated since people are making fun of it in the void forum. Mods please delete this thread. Thank you.

Like I told you last night, I hate how my part in escalating it went towards making you feel this way. Don't. You didn't do a damn thing wrong, and to hate someone over a post in a small forum would be as petty as hell. So you really have nothing to worry about.

 

I hope your future experiences are much more positive than this was.

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I think that's actually one of the true issues with the community since people (like myself) eventually close themselves off the rest of the community since experience proves that people are just rude and fickle.

 

I felt this was worth repeating.

 

Cliques exist, anyone denying it is delusional. However, cliques existing, in and of itself, is not inherently bad. They form because people enjoy the company of others with whom they've had positive experiences. They're getting what they want out of their group, so they have no need to open up their group to others.

 

It's akin to recruiting for companies/linkshells. Recruitment is open when more people are needed/wanted, and closed when that need/want is met (and to induct the new members into the "clique").

 

Good points were made on both sides of this discussion, so there's nothing to regret in regards to posting it.

 

My two cents... *shrugs and kicks the dead horse*

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It's nice to be all apogletic after the fact but none of you gave a shit when you tore into the person.

 

Also the void forum is trash.

 

While some comments weren't particularly nice, I don't think most were "tearing into" anyone. They were quite abrasive, though. ...but that's not against site rules. The average tone of the thread hasn't really changed much throughout each of the pages.

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It's nice to be all apogletic after the fact but none of you gave a shit when you tore into the person.

 

Also the void forum is trash.

 

Whenever you use grand global statements, you inevitably do the forum community the disservice of blanketing over the helpful bits, without contributing to it.

 

When I see a lot of unhelpful things I don't agree with, I never respond to it (edit - unless I feel that I can turn it into good advice or help calm it down or neutralize it). I just try harder to be helpful. Drawing attention to negativity tends to breed more negativity and encourages a new circle to start. Contrarily, there's lots of good advice to give from numerous perspectives - even if you've already given lots of good advice.

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