Community Full of Cliques

[Perth]

Question Has anyone ever used Party Finder to find RP contacts?  Did that work for you?

 

Ooo I've actually been wondering that myself, so I think I'll try tonight and post results

 

Update: I'm having ridiculous amounts of success with this. Got a hit in the first five minutes and have added a handful of new folks on my friend's list. I had a quick little blurb about the character and offered a service she might be able to provide while making it sound light-hearted and fun, and I've been met with nothing but positivity. I really recommend it! (Will definitely be doing more of this in the future.)

[EliBallard]

You can't also know why someone isn't the social butterfly you are. Some fling their social anxiety for every reason possible in a very disingenuous manner, and a lot others actually have issues like that. Telling them to move their ass or die is not going to do much except alienating them. Sometimes people are seeing through it through a privileged lens that doesn't do justice to what it actually is for others.

As someone with social phobia and actually cooping with it (because honestly, you will never get 'over it'), that is exactly what needs to be told to people: that they need to stop fucking hiding and get out there. Not everyone is out there to get you.

 

You ain't going to achieve jack shit in roleplay, or in real life, if you're going to be coddled constantly. The fact people bring this up and use it an excuse for people to hide behind is utterly disgusting to me, and in fact you're just enabling their social anxiety by stating this nonsense. Privileged lens? C'mon man, every person has issues. Is it harsh to say? Yes, but it is better then constantly enabling and talking their behaviour 'right'.

 

There's a difference in acknowledging it, and enabling it. Stop enabling social anxiety and social phobia. It's very harmful to those people and you're really not helping by letting them use it as an excuse and not a reason.

 

Edit: Also my excuses if this was not your intention to come across, I'm getting slightly drunk, English is not my native language, and I'm just generally sick and tired by people using any disorder as an excuse and not a reason.

 

People handle anxiety and disorders in different ways and unless you're a medical professional shouldn't tell them they're doing it wrong. I'll agree that the OP came in frustrated and somewhat accusatory, but she likely just needed to vent and things weren't helped by your post on the first page that came off -way- more aggressive than anyone else or was necessary.

 

You talked about how threads like this are damaging to community, but I feel that people chasing others away for legitimate concerns is more damaging, even if you're 'sick of hearing them'. You can just not read the threads.

[RavieRaptor]

I think these threads are very damaging to the community in truth. They scare off new roleplayers potentially, they make certain people look entitled. It is a complete mess on both sides of the fence. The thread name alone already made people wanting to go for the OP throats due to her statement of basically going 'You're all dicks, fuck you for not giving me RP, you damn cliques' attitude if you don't read into further. I know now that it wasn't her intention. And if your new to the RPC? You're just going to be given the impression the community is a huge clique. While it is not.

 

These type of threads are just... not helping. They set the RP community in a very bad daylight, while I'm certain most roleplayers on Balmung don't even use the RPC, let alone check it regularly.

 

I really think this could have been a good discussion (and it still is to some degree), if the OP didn't start pointing accusations from the start. If it was a "LF help finding RP" thread? Even a change in the title alone would have gotten a lot better and more positive replies. You reap what you sow.

 

Also, no, I have no experience using party finder to look for roleplay. I do however seen people use it to promote their events; what I do think is a cool thing to do, and from what I've heard its quite successful.

I never accused anyone. Thank you. You just keep saying "oh you think youre oligated to get rp." I Never mentioned this AT ALL. If anything you seem to be attacking me for bringing this up. It was a simple rant that people could've avoided.

[RavieRaptor]

I think these threads are very damaging to the community in truth. They scare off new roleplayers potentially, they make certain people look entitled. It is a complete mess on both sides of the fence. The thread name alone already made people wanting to go for the OP throats due to her statement of basically going 'You're all dicks, fuck you for not giving me RP, you damn cliques' attitude if you don't read into further. I know now that it wasn't her intention. And if your new to the RPC? You're just going to be given the impression the community is a huge clique. While it is not.

 

These type of threads are just... not helping. They set the RP community in a very bad daylight, while I'm certain most roleplayers on Balmung don't even use the RPC, let alone check it regularly.

 

I really think this could have been a good discussion (and it still is to some degree), if the OP didn't start pointing accusations from the start. If it was a "LF help finding RP" thread? Even a change in the title alone would have gotten a lot better and more positive replies. You reap what you sow.

 

Also, no, I have no experience using party finder to look for roleplay. I do however seen people use it to promote their events; what I do think is a cool thing to do, and from what I've heard its quite successful.

I never accused anyone. Thank you. You just keep saying "oh you think youre oligated to get rp." I Never mentioned this AT ALL. If anything you seem to be attacking me for bringing this up. It was a simple rant that people could've avoided.

I also have social anxiety and depression. But i try to approach people despite this. I dont hide behind it. You're being very blunt, yes, but you're also being aggressive and mean to someone for no reason.

[LiadansWhisper]

You're being very blunt, yes, but you're also being aggressive and mean to someone for no reason.

 

I'm just going to mention here that Virella is not, if I remember correctly, a native English speaker. I'm not even sure if English is her second, third, or fourth language.

[Tyndles]

So I've been trying to find people to RP with for the last year or so, and most of these times I've been ignored or not acknowledged at all.

 

I wanted to basically point out the Gold and Glory Gala last night, I came on three different characters and tried to approach people, but only got ignored. Everyone and their cliques were in the corners keeping amongst themselves.

 

I was there for an hour, not one acknowledgement. This is messed up. How are we supposed to make friends if we get ignored the whole time? Or maybe it's just me and how I must be a terrible person.

 

Everyone says "Approach people, that's how you'll get RP" Well apparently not.

 

I've been rping and playing the game for over 3 years now. People need to grow up.

 

./endrant.

 

You say this was a rant, but the bold lines are pretty attacky. It put people on the defensive right away. The last sentence particularly turned it very passive aggressive.

[Edda]

Here's some unsolicited advice. If you're not happy with your interpretation of the tone of a text post, just imagine this guy is reading it. [video=youtube]

 

It helped me! If I had the big buckaroos I'd hire him to read every post I make on this site, Just In Case™.

[LiadansWhisper]

so apparently I have a license to be a complete jerk to people since English isn't my first language either.

 

Nope. It's more like you have a license to run into cultural and language differences. There are things that, if I were to translate them from, say, French to English, without any nuance, come off as completely rude. Because there's nuance to any translation, and that's not always apparent when the speaker/writer is using a language not their native tongue.

 

And, again, cultural differences. Like, what is polite in one place isn't polite in another.

 

They type pretty good english to be an excuse to speak that way. If she accidentally typed it that way, she would've apologized. But notice on the first page of this thread, they were still rude.

 

With her, it's a cultural thing, as far as I know. It doesn't bother me because it's words on the internet, but I get why you're upset that she's in-your-face and unapologetic. I was probably upset the first time that happened to me on the internet. I'd also point out, however, that politeness varies from region to region, country to country. She was civil, which is all these boards require you to be (simply because civility is more universal than actual politeness).

[Nero]

It's fairly clear that this thread is no longer constructive, so there's a lock going on this now.

 

You're free to restart another thread if you feel the topic still has merit for discussion.