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Averis

Is RP just a way for people to hook up these days?

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I have seen it grow in recent months, but I honestly think it fits in well with a city like Ul'dah. In that way its become more immersive. I do have to be honest though. It kind of annoys me that two of my favorite races, Miqo'te and Au Ra, are the ones you see the most. They're starting to get a reputation in some areas, if you catch my meaning.

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As an aside, been RPing online for 20 years... it's always been a thing. Of course, I did a lot of World of Darkness RP back then. But really? Many fantasy novels are full of sex scenes, so I guess ERP is actually important for immersion. xDDD

 

Makes me think of Game of Thrones. A lot of the sex scenes come off as superfluous at times, but as the plot goes on, it's rather amazing how, 'Who's sleeping with who,' really plays a role in the narrative.

 

I have seen it grow in recent months, but I honestly think it fits in well with a city like Ul'dah. In that way its become more immersive. I do have to be honest though. It kind of annoys me that two of my favorite races, Miqo'te and Au Ra, are the ones you see the most. They're starting to get a reputation in some areas, if you catch my meaning.

If Au Ra weren't added it'd just be Miqo'te. Clearly SE needs to add more races which fit that aesthetic. Let us welcome our Viera Overlords, hopefully in 5.0.

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This is why 99% of Peccavi's Development is based around the friends that i joined FFXIV with sadly. While I do wish for her to have more outside contacts, that probably is not going to happen since most of the people who dare go up to her just want to ERP. Good thing Migrated to Balmung with seven people or else I'd never get my character in the direction I want her to go. T_T

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Love, sex, drama, violence are all important to Roleplay. It can become a head ache for us players at times but it's just as important to accept those themes. I am not advocating playing a hyper violent or sexual character, unless that is your thing. Instead, I advocate playing your characters that those themes will come up.

 

In it's purest form, RP is really improvisational acting. It is mimicry of real life in unusual situations and as such love, sex, drama, conflict, violence are all very real things that are cornerstones of the human experience.

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Call me young, but I can't remember any times or communities where a good chunk of RPers weren't just trying to get their rocks off, barring very small spaces that were niche and/or private.

 

Gotta agree here.  I've been at this for... almost ten years, now, and can't remember a time where romance/sex didn't feature heavily in MMO roleplay culture.   Balmung's culture is fairly open about it compared to some servers/games I've been on, but compared to say, Moon Guard in WoW, Balmung is still kind of tame.   It all depends on your own experiences and perspectives, I guess.

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I can understand how frustrating and discouraging it is. When it comes down to it, we all want the ideal situation of finding many other people who are looking for the same type of RP experience.

 

But it's complex, because there are so many factors and preferences when it comes to an individual seeking RP. With every interaction, there's the unspoken question of "is my current RP partner looking for the same experience I am?", and when those expectations don't align, it can get very awkward and uncomfortable, very fast.

 

It could be a mismatch in romantic expectations, lore interpretation, social versus plot-driven preference, ideal amount of time spent IC, or any number of things. When you find yourself feeling like you're surrounded by people who don't want the sort of RP you want, it can feel lonely.

 

Acknowledging all that, I will reassure you that you're not alone. I feel this described mismatch a lot, and I'm very certain a LOT of people feel this way. It can be hard to find RP partners who match you in terms of what they want out of RPing, but they are out there, and they may be struggling just as much as you.

 

So don't give up! I will echo that joining a few linkshells might help you find RP beyond the setting of people trying to hook up in an IC bar. Also, if a linkshell has any sort of screening process, it will be a good opportunity for you to ask their officer questions about their community and the style of RP they offer before joining. Most leaders are happy to answer said questions, as they want someone who will fit in well with their group, too!

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The crazy thing is with so many people around trying to hook up you'd think that more people's characters would be interested in something other than open relationships and flings, and would look for something serious eventually. A verly large portion of people my character has interacted with, male and female, seem to be interested in just "having fun" with multiple partners, no strings attached. My character always displays surprise and tells folks they are special whenever he meets a married couple, lol.

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The crazy thing is with so many people around trying to hook up you'd think that more people's characters would be interested in something other than open relationships and flings, and would look for something serious eventually. A verly large portion of people my character has interacted with, male and female, seem to be interested in just "having fun" with multiple partners, no strings attached. My character always displays surprise and tells folks they are special whenever he meets a married couple, lol.

 

It seems I picked up a new type of compliment from this thread...

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As others have mentioned; it's very much a ymmv thing. Some friends of mine can't walk ten fulms without being propositioned; I can plant a character* in the QS and only get regular RP every time. (I was actually just discussing this the other day in an attempt to figure out what /I'm/ doing differently that keeps ERP away so I can pass the secret to others. xD )

 

"What makes people bug my friend for ERP and not me" is the philosopher's stone of RP.  Whoever definitively figures it out will be truly enlightened.

 

I first started MMO RP in WoW BC, and it was often a really upsetting experience.  I'd engage some random new person who seemed really interested, and I'd think "wow they must really like this character profile I've lovingly written", only for things to take a swift turn to the explicit.  I'd nope out, confidence bruised over the fact that my character was some interchangeable avatar with a body type/hair color/whatever that the other person was into.

 

That hasn't happened to me for several years now, and there are too many variables to really pin down why.

 

Like I said before, though, I don't mind being asked and saying no.  What's more of a bummer is when someone springs the idea after you've scened together a bunch of times, and when the answer is no they up and vanish.  I haven't had that happen in a good while either, but I've read posts here from those who have.

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For others, it's just one element of a fully-realized story arc. Our literature and media are replete with tales in which, even if the overall story has nothing to do with the pursuit of romance, nevertheless include characters who fall in love and deal with relationship turmoil (even if they really ought to be waiting for all of that until they've finished impeding the imminent resurrection of Carnage Emperor Zoglorth). 

 

Your mileage may vary, but my experience has been that I get out of RP more-or-less what I put into it. That means if I want long-term character friendships and story arcs wherein the acquisition of love is but an aspect rather than a priority, I must be prepared to take it upon myself to provide that story arc, to seek out others who are of a like mind, and to keep at arm's length those who too readily seem willing to try and attach their character to mine in a manner which as her storyteller I'm not yet prepared to accept. I can't expect that others will change their behavior based on my own interests and expectations - we don't lack for roleplayers, so let them find their needs met with someone else, as I will.

 

This is pretty much spot-on. I figured I'd add my two cents, especially seeing as I've, uh, flat out stated my character's a prostitute. Personally, I didn't want to restrict myself to just doing "vanilla" roleplay scenarios, because I enjoy watching a relationship form between two characters over some period of time. I didn't want to box myself in and remove sex/ERP from my character's story entirely. Also I think watching him struggle with it makes him more interesting, since there's plenty of Miqo'te out there.

 

And yeah, I'm open to quick, one-shot scenarios. But does that mean that I'm trekking down to the Quicksand every night and getting lewd in public chat? Of course not. If it isn't private, if my partner doesn't fit, or if the scenario isn't written well, then I'm going to be less inclined to RP, no matter what kind of content's involved. But I like doing short little scenes occasionally, so I created a character where that was possible.

 

I can't say if it's become more prevalent, but I think in the past good writers might have been dissuaded from it because it was sort of looked down upon. I wanted to be upfront about it because I think there's a lot of writers/roleplayers who might want to try it but haven't, and I want people to know what they're potentially getting into. ERP's always been here. It's just more accepted now.

 

These two posts are pretty much on the nose, and like Hathaway, I'm writing as someone who is playing a prostitute who has no reservations about saying that she's exactly that.

 

 

In my experience, nothing has changed over the years. I can't think of a time where I have not seen or had a romantic or erotic aspect to a roleplay. I learned rather quickly that I preferred such things to happen for a reason rather than be the focus of it - it is the same even with Tsukiko, and much like Hathaway's own experience, if things don't line up the right way then they just don't happen. Having a character with a sexual aspect to them doesn't mean that is all they do - though I will never discount that there are characters who are made exactly for that.

 

 

I think that the only thing that has really changed is how common the role-play hobby is these days, and you can often see that more and more people are using it as a method of escapism. How or why a person uses role-play is up to them, just as much as it is up to an individual on where they stand on certain aspects of role-play.

 

 

But, generally? If you keep looking for something, especially if it is something that annoys you, you are going to find it. I would much rather see and encourage people to learn to 'live and let live' rather than see people continue to complain that the role-play they are seeing isn't to their taste. It is very easy to say 'this isn't to my taste, no thanks' and move on.

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The crazy thing is with so many people around trying to hook up you'd think that more people's characters would be interested in something other than open relationships and flings, and would look for something serious eventually. A verly large portion of people my character has interacted with, male and female, seem to be interested in just "having fun" with multiple partners, no strings attached. My character always displays surprise and tells folks they are special whenever he meets a married couple, lol.

 

Part of me blames the Calamity. When the World all but ends, and then you have a series of wars/conflicts with a multi-continent spanning Empire built upon nigh-invincible technology, not to mention the constant cropping up of Primals in every corner of your land... People cope in different ways, but hedonistic cultures are one of the most popular forms of coping.

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Call me young, but I can't remember any times or communities where a good chunk of RPers weren't just trying to get their rocks off, barring very small spaces that were niche and/or private.

 

Gotta agree here.  I've been at this for... almost ten years, now, and can't remember a time where romance/sex didn't feature heavily in MMO roleplay culture.   Balmung's culture is fairly open about it compared to some servers/games I've been on, but compared to say, Moon Guard in WoW, Balmung is still kind of tame.   It all depends on your own experiences and perspectives, I guess.

 

And it's not just MMOs. You see this in chat rooms and in play-by-post RP games and any other kind of collaborative experience. I've even seen this in tabletop roleplaying. A DM doesn't even have to describe someone as attractive and you'll see one party member insist on hitting on them.

 

The truth is that many people are highly interested in romance and sex. Internet anonymity is a great enabler for people who have hangups in the real world. MMO RP will never have strict controls for people hoping to avoid romance/erotic role play outside of the confines of small groups of individuals. And even that can change on a 1-1 basis between individuals.

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To an extent this is what has kept me from portraying parts of the personality of my character. I have no intersting in ERP, I have no issue with it but it isn't going to happen. I want to portray her as flirtatious because it get people to do what she wants in character. She's a manipulator, and knows sex appeal makes people do what she wants. So I only portray that trait with people i know, and have explained it to OOC to avoid the problems that arise from it.

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First off - my only experience RPing via text/MMO is FF14. I have done tabletop back in the day, but romance never part of it.

 

It /feels/ slightly different in the Quicksand now as opposed to when I moved to Balmung. But that might just be our population/rp'ers increased. It did get a lil more weird late at night.xD

 

Now, I honestly do not go to the Quicksand very often anymore. If I do, I tend to get asked about ERP via a tell. More often, the tells are polite and let it go when declined. I have had a few bring it to a weird place, but I block and move on.

 

My two cents on it, you do you. There are a fair chunk of players looking for more platonic relationships, I am one of em!!

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Call me young, but I can't remember any times or communities where a good chunk of RPers weren't just trying to get their rocks off, barring very small spaces that were niche and/or private.

 

Gotta agree here.  I've been at this for... almost ten years, now, and can't remember a time where romance/sex didn't feature heavily in MMO roleplay culture.   Balmung's culture is fairly open about it compared to some servers/games I've been on, but compared to say, Moon Guard in WoW, Balmung is still kind of tame.   It all depends on your own experiences and perspectives, I guess.

 

I'm pretty old compared to most of you (35) but yeah this is true. My first experience with seeing any RP in any game was two people public ERPing in a church in FFXI. That was in 2003. The day 1.0 launched, my boyfriend caught three people erping in the wards were you went to sell stuff. Also in public.

 

I think it's a little more vocal nowadays but it's never not been a thing. Back in my day you had to be kinda sneaky about it or you were shunned (Smaller communities, don't ya know). Bit people are right, it's YMMV mostly. We all have stories about people wanting to to just erp with our characters but that doesn't mean it's a common thing to happen to us. I've been here three years and blatant erp has only been offered... once or twice.

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I think it's fine to have this kind of reaction. I can't say whether RP has changed or not for other people, but for me it has and it comes down to what you're used to seeing. Before last year, most of my RP didn't involve as much sexual content as you would see today. Sure, my character got with someone around the start of 2.0, but that wasn't our goal. It just happened and we still continued with our stories. Anything ERP related, we kept it completely to ourselves. Before that, ERP and relationships were looked down on in the RP communities I was used to. I welcome them, but like real life I don't want it in my face.

 

After coming back to the RP scene after a break, it did baffle me going to events that were slice of life, fight clubs, tavern openings, etc. Roughly around 15 people. But when I was helping a new RPer in the game, we had a job done, got wounded, I took him to Bronze Lake to get healed (because that's where war veterans go), but there was a date auction (and orgy) there and it was literally full. I think I counted 50+ people, and I mean full as in you couldn't see the water. Lore wise, I found it disrespectful, but it kind of tells me is this what the majority of people are really into. Sadly this new RPer was uncomfortable as this wasn't what he was expecting or used to seeing, and neither was I.

 

TL;DR Your reaction is perfectly normal IMO.

I haven't noticed a difference at all - it's always been frequent (even in other communities decades ago, when I first started). Date auctions are popular events, too, but you can't generalize them because it serves as a party that may not even include romantic or sexual overtones (there are date auctions for platonic time spent with a person, too). Events have grown in general, and any headlined event will garner lots of players, if just out of curiosity.

 

The crazy thing is with so many people around trying to hook up you'd think that more people's characters would be interested in something other than open relationships and flings, and would look for something serious eventually. A verly large portion of people my character has interacted with, male and female, seem to be interested in just "having fun" with multiple partners, no strings attached. My character always displays surprise and tells folks they are special whenever he meets a married couple, lol.

My characters know countless married couples, both monogamous and open. It seems to be a common thing in FFXIV RP in particular that some couples choose to have other partners solely because a lot of players in the RP community are on and off again characters, so they might find it difficult to stay consistent in story, or they might not be able to pursue certain story lines, without that role - perhaps they miss playing those dynamics! I don't think there are solely open partnerships on our server, though. 

 

To an extent this is what has kept me from portraying parts of the personality of my character. I have no intersting in ERP, I have no issue with it but it isn't going to happen. I want to portray her as flirtatious because it get people to do what she wants in character. She's a manipulator, and knows sex appeal makes people do what she wants. So I only portray that trait with people i know, and have explained it to OOC to avoid the problems that arise from it.

Indicate that you don't ERP in your player info. People tend to follow this.

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In the days of AOL/Yahoo RP, people pretended like they didn't ERP, and frowned on it, because AOL and Yahoo had active moderators that would regularly spy on each chat, or respond to moderations very quickly to keep their rooms family friendly. So RPers generally wanted to not get in trouble so it was very much discouraged, some groups even outright forbidding it's players from participating in it in private. (This never, ever worked)

 

Once the big companies started to dwindle and not pay attention, the rooms people created became much more relaxed and open about their intent. (Anyone that ever played on AOL and went to a Gor room or an "Unclaimed Market/Palace" and didn't think ERPs was going to happen was dumb or ignorant)

 

It was the same in early MMOs. Dark Age of Camelot, Everquest and UO had quicker GM response early on to lewd reports and stuff. So people discouraged that. But the companies stopped making it a priority at all, so people did it more openly, or outright advertised for it. There isn't anything wrong with that.

 

Regardless, ERP was ALWAYS sought, in roughly the same % that it is now. THe method has become more public, that is all.

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In the days of AOL/Yahoo RP, people pretended like they didn't ERP, and frowned on it, because AOL and Yahoo had active moderators that would regularly spy on each chat, or respond to moderations very quickly to keep their rooms family friendly.  So RPers generally wanted to not get in trouble so it was very much discouraged, some groups even outright forbidding it's players from participating in it in private. (This never, ever worked)

Yahoo's default rooms were moderated, but the user created rooms (back before Yahoo took the option away) weren't. People did seek it out then, both privately and not, and it wasn't discouraged.

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In the days of AOL/Yahoo RP, people pretended like they didn't ERP, and frowned on it, because AOL and Yahoo had active moderators that would regularly spy on each chat, or respond to moderations very quickly to keep their rooms family friendly.  So RPers generally wanted to not get in trouble so it was very much discouraged, some groups even outright forbidding it's players from participating in it in private. (This never, ever worked)

Yahoo's default rooms were moderated, but the user created rooms (back before Yahoo took the option away) weren't. People did seek it out then, both privately and not, and it wasn't discouraged.

 

I didn't stay on Yahoo very long before I migrated to AOL, I was only 16 or so and never ventured into their created rooms. I know that on AOL created rooms didnt have moderators IN them, but moderators stepped in if people called them. (messaging/booting people that were vulgar)

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Indicate that you don't ERP in your player info. People tend to follow this.

This is something we shouldn't have to do though, strangely. Indicating that we RP should really be enough.

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Indicate that you don't ERP in your player info. People tend to follow this.

This is something we shouldn't have to do though, strangely. Indicating that we RP should really be enough.

 

Communicating clearly isn't a bad thing that you "have to" do. Like, the hierarchy is thus...

 

RP, some of which is...

> MRP, some of which is...

>> ERP

 

If you RP and especially if you MRP, there is a chance (however small) that you might also ERP. If you want people to know that you don't/don't want to be approached about it, then specifying "no ERP" is just a case of being clear about your business. That way, no-one's time is wasted - not yours, nor that of the people who enjoy RP the most when it includes elements of ERP.

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I do think ERP is more commonly talked about these days, there's less shame involved and there are more RPers that are far more direct about their interest in it. I think that can give the perception that it's all anyone wants to RP about. It isn't... but it's easy to see it that way if you spend a lot of time in Balmung's Quicksand.

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Indicate that you don't ERP in your player info. People tend to follow this.

This is something we shouldn't have to do though, strangely. Indicating that we RP should really be enough.

They don't have to, though. It was a suggestion. They want their character to be portrayed sexually, or flirty, so it does have the potential to mislead someone into thinking their character may want to delve into that territory as a key to progression in their personal goals (they stated their character uses flirtation as a means of power or hold). If they hypothetically want to use that characteristic without having to tell every single person they play with that they differ in actually wanting to play out the sexual nature to that degree, they could add the 'no ERP' into the info.

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I enjoy people who ONLY want to ERP with my characters. There's so many of them! I like to feed them regular RP until they either get the message and continue along a plot with me, or go away entirely because I did not deliver with the ERPs.

 

:lol:

 

Which isn't to say I never ERP, I mean come on now this is Balmung. There's just a huge difference between a OOC thirsty RPer and an ICly charming RPer. Like a massive difference. I'm pretty excited for the influx of red mages because every 'sexy suave' character will be wearing that AF. Easy to spot!

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I'll definitely say it seems more prevalent than it was. I've been RPing in MMOs since vanilla WoW, and while it didn't seem like it was around then, I know certain people did it. The MMO community has grown substantially since then and, with it, so too will the RPers and various people that come in. As people have stated before me, this will likewise lessen the chance you have to find what you're looking for as a certain mindset overcomes others. And yes, certain communities tend to have certain kinds of people in them.

 

People fishing for ERP was always in WoW, but didn't seem to be all the majority was looking for. Maybe I didn't notice it back then, but I certainly see it now. People will RP with me or my partner separately, find out they're together, and then immediately back off or never contact us again. People will walk up to try to get them alone and when they fail, never contact us again. The result is a substantial waste of time and a constant reminder of how annoying this mindset has become. 

 

Even more so, it makes those that roleplay characters that are naturally like that look bad when they're genuinely looking for unique interaction. There are courtesans that RP it because they see it as an intriguing take on a story, not because they want to make gil for ERP or because they want ERP themselves. At this point when someone walks up to and flirts with Val or his significant other, it's hard for me to tell if they're fishing for ERP from one of us or just genuinely looking for a fun interaction. 

 

It sucks, but my suggestion would be to try and trudge through the filth and find the good roleplayers out there. They exist. Sometimes they even come to Ul'dah. A lot of people I've found seem to recluse away from the city in general, but there's also some great people I've met that I wouldn't have had I never put myself out there. All you can really do is be upfront with people. While I don't want to be rude, the moment someone whispers me asking what kind of RP I'm looking for, I immediately respond with "No relationship/ERP." Pretentious, yes, but it gets the point across and they either bail immediately or leave me alone. 

 

I also look at their search info. If I see "M/D RP" I get wary because for some reason people apparently think mature/dark RP is for nothing but sex or an avenue for sex. I can't tell you how many "mature/dark RP"-themed linkshells I've joined to be bombarded with nothing but trashy sex jokes and a bunch of desperate people gloating about how they're "sin queens/kings" 

 

ugh.

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