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Your Gender vs. Your Character's


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I've never been able to play the opposite sex. I just can't get into the char and I'm never sure how I should be playing them.

 

I do, therefore, fall into the trap of imagining the player to be the same gender as their char, even when I know better. xD

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In my more snarky moments, I get the weird impression that when it comes to Au Ra and Miqo'te, I can assume that the female characters are played by men, and the male characters are played by women.

 

More seriously, I'm a male and I play female characters almost exclusively. I have no idea why, but it is how it is. I say "almost" because in my years of playing MMOs (and a short stint with MUDs), I played a total of one male character (in City of Heroes), who got benched after something like ten hours of play, simply because I didn't feel comfortable playing him.

 

Which is the main draw of female characters for me: I feel more comfortable playing them. Again, I don't know why. I do like the female glamours more, and I do like the way female characters move in this game, but those don't feel sufficient to explain my preference for female characters. It just feels more relaxing.

 

I do RP my characters in what I feel is a gender-neutral manner. I don't consciously do so; it's just that the traits I like to roleplay (intellectually curious, confident/timid, exuberant/reluctant, naive/world-weary) are fairly universal, and not particularly masculine or feminine. So in that sense, it doesn't really matter if I play a male or female character.

 

I have never been mistaken as female in RL, though. I've been told that my choice of words and how I arrange them, especially OOC, is very "male"; I'm not sure if this is synonymous with "masculine". I don't actually know what the criteria for this is, but I've been told the same thing often enough (and by different people) that either there's a popular "is your writing male or female" test I've never heard of, or it really is a thing academically.

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In my more snarky moments, I get the weird impression that when it comes to Au Ra and Miqo'te, I can assume that the female characters are played by men, and the male characters are played by women....etc

 

Shortened it so I don't spread my answer too long down the page. That was a really interesting read. I wouldn't say that it came across as particularly feminine or masculine, but it was intellectual, and sensible.

 

I have no idea why I feel more comfortable playing males, even though I'm a female. Maybe it does have something to do with the fact that my female characters often got belittled by other female characters, but likewise, I feel like that's not a sufficient enough reason to cause my cessation of female-playing overall. If I liked female characters, I'd play them regardless. Male characters are just more relaxing (to use your words), and words for them flow more freely. I'd love to know the psychology behind it. :)

 

Charity322 

I've never been able to play the opposite sex. I just can't get into the char and I'm never sure how I should be playing them.

 

I do, therefore, fall into the trap of imagining the player to be the same gender as their char, even when I know better. xD

 

I don't fall into the trap, per se, but I do respond to people as if they're the same gender as their characters--Male character's player gets called 'he, him, his', and vice versa), unless I already know otherwise, or they tell me otherwise. I just feel like it helps keep things from getting confusing. xD

 

Kerrath

...If my girlfriend quit FF14 or something i'd consider playing a female character. Though, on the other hand, if she quit FF14, I probably would too, to play whatever she went off to. (unless it was another moba, in which case she can fuck off and play by herself)

 

Ha! Hysterical. It's nice to see that there are people who stick to their gender, as well as people who can easily branch out and play the opposite. There's a good mix of players here.

 

What is MOBA, by the way (forgive my ignorance--I usually stick to console games)?

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Ha! Hysterical. It's nice to see that there are people who stick to their gender, as well as people who can easily branch out and play the opposite. There's a good mix of players here.

 

What is MOBA, by the way (forgive my ignorance--I usually stick to console games)?

Multiplayer Online Battle Arena. League of Legends is the biggest one, but there are others. I can't stand em.

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MOBA = Multiplayer Online Battle Arena. It's really just an arena where you choose characters and battle it out, like it says on the tin. DotA (Defence of the Ancients), League of Legends and SMITE are three examples of MOBAs. 

 

As for myself, I'm nonbinary but I do have a preference of playing male characters. I have no real reasoning other than the fact that I just like playing male characters over female. I honestly don't understand the whole "your gender vs your character" thing as I just thought "just play what you like" as some character aesthetics may look more appealing on one gender than another (for example the black scales on male au ra make me want to play a male one more than female, not to mention I'm not fond of female's tiny size). I have been mistaken for being male repeatedly, but that's because people look at my model and don't really get to listen to my irl voice (as I don't actually mention my gender).

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Thanks for the answer, guys. Knowing what MOBA means, I can say that I don't see too much of a point in that sort of game. There are obviously heaps of people who like them, but... not for me.

 

 

Roedadyn

By using the title 'Your gender vs. your character',  just meant to ask if your gender matches your character's, or if you switch it up, and if so why, and if people have given you grief over it.

 

I used to get grief in the past in my first MuD I ever played, but I think that was because we were all younger and more emotional, and perhaps it wasn't as widely accepted that people play characters of the opposite gender - or at least not as widely known.

 

Yep, I definitely play male characters because I just 'like to' a lot more. :) It helps that I can design my own characters too, so they'll always be appealing to me aesthetically because I'm not limited by a finite selection of facial, hair, body, etc options.

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one of my friends from wow was a female who almost exclusively roleplayed as male homosexual characters primarily because she enjoyed romance but hated the drama associated with straight romance rp.

 

at one point she was RPing as a muscular orc man who was dating a blood elf man who had a chocolate factory (????) and wow i did not know what to do with that information.

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one of my friends from wow was a female who almost exclusively roleplayed as male homosexual characters primarily because she enjoyed romance but hated the drama associated with straight romance rp.

 

at one point she was RPing as a muscular orc man who was dating a blood elf man who had a chocolate factory (????) and wow i did not know what to do with that information.

 

Ha! Wow, that's so strange.

 

I've seen two women (who were married IRL) who played two guys in a gay couple. O.o Nothing wrong with it - it's just strange. I guess it's just like hetero people playing a guy or a girl in a hetero couple.

 

How is there drama with hetero romance but not with homosexual romance? People are people regardless. I'd like to know how she avoided the drama, though... That's always nice.

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How is there drama with hetero romance but not with homosexual romance? People are people regardless. I'd like to know how she avoided the drama, though... That's always nice.

different kinds of drama. 

 

heterosexual rp might open up to thirsty boys who want to be your girlfriend ooc in addition to ic.

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How is there drama with hetero romance but not with homosexual romance? People are people regardless. I'd like to know how she avoided the drama, though... That's always nice.

different kinds of drama. 

 

heterosexual rp might open up to thirsty boys who want to be your girlfriend ooc in addition to ic.

Ohh, so you mean if she, being a woman, plays a homosexual male, who gets involved with another homosexual male, then hopefully that other character is played by a homosexual male, or a girl, thus lessening her chances of being sought after OOC?

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How is there drama with hetero romance but not with homosexual romance? People are people regardless. I'd like to know how she avoided the drama, though... That's always nice.

different kinds of drama. 

 

heterosexual rp might open up to thirsty boys who want to be your girlfriend ooc in addition to ic.

Ohh, so you mean if she, being a woman, plays a homosexual male, who gets involved with another homosexual male, then hopefully that other character is played by a homosexual male, or a girl, thus lessening her chances of being sought after OOC?

basically yes. though in her case a lot of her rp partners were heterosexual females rping as homosexual males.

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Shortened it so I don't spread my answer too long down the page. That was a really interesting read. I wouldn't say that it came across as particularly feminine or masculine, but it was intellectual, and sensible.

 

It's been a long time, and I only recall possibly the least useful parts of it, but the explanation went something like how "male" writing tends to be more "compartmentalized" and "rigid", as opposed to "flowing". The example given was that I used shorter sentences and clauses, which made me look back on everything I wrote, and I'm pretty sure that's not true.

 

But it is the case that people I talk to OOC-ly almost immediately peg me as male IRL. I wouldn't say it's everyone, but as mentioned, it's enough that I can't rule it out completely as bias.

 

Male characters are just more relaxing (to use your words), and words for them flow more freely. I'd love to know the psychology behind it. :)

 

I know, right? I'd love to know the psychology behind it too. It's definitely interesting.

 

Even in single-player games where I can choose gender, I choose female. Femshep in Mass Effect, female hunter in Monster Hunter (despite all the armours and animations being equally ridiculous on both male and female), female character in Story of Seasons and Rune Factory, including stressing out over which bachelor to date... it goes on.

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There are two primary reasons why my character is male--one is that my girlfriend wanted our characters to be a couple, and the other is that I'm not terribly interested in emulating sexuality from a female POV & I think sexuality is a major component of character development.

 

This is pretty much my reasoning minus the SO and with the opposite gender. I can't really get into sexualities other than my own (straight from a female POV).

 

One of the most awkward things I've ever had to deal with was another girl trying to hook up with me after I was nice to her and helped her out in a game (Ragnarok Online for those wondering). It was really difficult to deal with especially when she wouldn't relent and went with the whole "can't you at least try it?" thing. Every time I think of playing a male character or f/f relationship I'm reminded of how I felt in that situation.

 

I have no problem with using characters outside my sexuality or gender as NPCs/background characters/one offs/etc (assuming I ever bother with that sort of thing). I'm also trying to branch out a little in that I made a pansexual female character for a tabletop RPG. It was a pretty safe choice though considering none of the players in the game likely want to romance that character. Anything I do with it will probably be backstory/epilogue/side story stuff.

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There are two primary reasons why my character is male--one is that my girlfriend wanted our characters to be a couple, and the other is that I'm not terribly interested in emulating sexuality from a female POV & I think sexuality is a major component of character development.

 

This is pretty much my reasoning minus the SO and with the opposite gender. I can't really get into sexualities other than my own (straight from a female POV).

 

One of the most awkward things I've ever had to deal with was another girl trying to hook up with me after I was nice to her and helped her out in a game (Ragnarok Online for those wondering). It was really difficult to deal with especially when she wouldn't relent and went with the whole "can't you at least try it?" thing. Every time I think of playing a male character or f/f relationship I'm reminded of how I felt in that situation.

 

I have no problem with using characters outside my sexuality or gender as NPCs/background characters/one offs/etc (assuming I ever bother with that sort of thing). I'm also trying to branch out a little in that I made a pansexual female character for a tabletop RPG. It was a pretty safe choice though considering none of the players in the game likely want to romance that character. Anything I do with it will probably be backstory/epilogue/side story stuff.

 

Ah jeez, that is not acceptable at all. So many weirdos out there. :/ Sorry you had such an uncomfortable situation, but it looks like maybe having a pansexual character has helped you so far?

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Shortened it so I don't spread my answer too long down the page. That was a really interesting read. I wouldn't say that it came across as particularly feminine or masculine, but it was intellectual, and sensible.

 

It's been a long time, and I only recall possibly the least useful parts of it, but the explanation went something like how "male" writing tends to be more "compartmentalized" and "rigid", as opposed to "flowing". The example given was that I used shorter sentences and clauses, which made me look back on everything I wrote, and I'm pretty sure that's not true.

 

But it is the case that people I talk to OOC-ly almost immediately peg me as male IRL. I wouldn't say it's everyone, but as mentioned, it's enough that I can't rule it out completely as bias.

 

Male characters are just more relaxing (to use your words), and words for them flow more freely. I'd love to know the psychology behind it. :)

 

I know, right? I'd love to know the psychology behind it too. It's definitely interesting.

 

Even in single-player games where I can choose gender, I choose female. Femshep in Mass Effect, female hunter in Monster Hunter (despite all the armours and animations being equally ridiculous on both male and female), female character in Story of Seasons and Rune Factory, including stressing out over which bachelor to date... it goes on.

 

Ha! Yep, in single player games (I actually never ever play MMOs, with the exception of FFXIV a couple years back ((because I love FF, obviously)) and hopefully FFXIV again sometime in the near future), if I have a choice to play a male over a female, I'll pick the male.

 

I wonder if it has anything to do with feeling vulnerable. If you're a male playing a male, or vice versa, it's almost like you're a little bit more out there with your character, connecting to the other people online on a more personal level? I'm not sure. Must think about it!

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Ah jeez, that is not acceptable at all. So many weirdos out there. :/ Sorry you had such an uncomfortable situation, but it looks like maybe having a pansexual character has helped you so far?

 

Yeah, it's a really weird hang up. I'm sure something like OCD is to blame. And, yeah, I think making a pansexual character was a really good first step. It's an exercise in removing gender and trying to think about what other characteristics the character would be interested in.

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If you find it difficult or daunting to RP a gender that isn't your own, you're probably just psyching yourself out. The differences are subtle and probably matter less in Eorzea than they do in real life. Without getting political, I'm struggling to think about anything that my gender specifically affects in my everyday life. I guess I walk outside at night alone less than my male friends? But that's not true for all women in all places, so I don't know. Just write a person first.

 

That said, I do choose to RP mostly women simply because I'm just usually more excited about good female characters in fiction than I am about men.

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Gender is immaterial to me for sure (just not to everyone). You could be male, female, both, had a gender change, could even consider yourself neutral, and it wouldn't be a problem. I was just asking if anyone had received grief once someone found out about their gender not matching their characters because that's happened to me in the past and I couldn't understand why the other person was so annoyed. :? That was yeaaars ago though, and it's way less of a problem these days - I think because like a lot of you said, it's more widely done/known.

 

It's not difficult for me to play female characters - I just have less of an interest in them than I do in male characters, and I'm very comfortably female OOCly.

 

:) Thanks Sig and Nako for your replies.

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I was just asking if anyone had received grief once someone found out about their gender not matching their characters because that's happened to me in the past and I couldn't understand why the other person was so annoyed. :?

 

I could see a couple reasons why that could happen? Not sure if they are the actual answer or something else, but, I feel it could've been possible that...

 

  • They were developing some level of OOC attraction, and were upset to find that the gender of the player didn't match the gender of the character?
  • There's some manner of personal belief that playing the opposite gender is bad, perhaps due to known situations of males playing up female characters to get attention and items?
  • Perhaps they just aren't quite able to separate the player and character, and the idea of romancing (or doing other things) with a player of the same gender squicks them out a little?

 

Those are possible explanations that just readily pop to mind, of course.

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I usually just assume the player is whatever gender their character is. I don't really think beyond that or pry about it because I don't go up to IRL people asking if they're the gender I assume them to be (unless it's a friend and I want to be funny), so why do it in game? 

 

What bothers me is the people that sexualize the fug out their characters. Sure, that could possibly be a legit characters personality... But it always hits a point where I wonder sometimes O.o

 

Anyway ya. If you're not the gender your character is that's fine? Only people that would actually feel some type of way about it are those that grew an attraction to you OOC (In which case you must be smooth as fuck.) or if the characters are in a relationship and the guy (or girl) finds out their partner isn't really a guy (or girl) OOC and feel insecure. Cause why not?

 

If I swipe right on your character you better be as hot as them irl, fam. If not you going to catch these cyber hands.

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I'm female irl and generally play female characters-- mostly because I've enjoyed telling stories about women, my way. As someone else said, there's an excitement to wanting to write a well-written lady. In the stories I'm writing, I have the freedom to make my characters something I'm happy with, ie, people with feelings and hopes with dreams. I haven't always felt that way about female characters in media-- sometimes I'm sitting there like "come on, does every lady in this show/movie/game gotta be the writer's sexy sexy blow-up-doll?"

 

As a result, yeah, I tend to walk the other direction when I meet a female character and it reads in a way that's just straight-up slimy and objectifying-- like the player is typing with one hand, describing the character's luscious lips and alluring gaze in every post. Which, alright, there's a place for that, enjoy that-- I've just been repulsed by it too much elsewhere to want to have any part of it here.

 

As it's been said a few times in this thread, if you're really wanting to play a lifelike character of your opposite gender, it's easy! Just play a person, not a sentient pair of jiggling, heaving breasts that shimmer oh-so sensually in the pale moonlight. The rest will follow, I promise! And if you really still want a sexy character, use a little "show, don't tell"-- make your character's personality one that proves appealing to other characters.

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I'm female irl and generally play female characters-- mostly because I've enjoyed telling stories about women, my way. As someone else said, there's an excitement to wanting to write a well-written lady. In the stories I'm writing, I have the freedom to make my characters something I'm happy with, ie, people with feelings and hopes with dreams. I haven't always felt that way about female characters in media-- sometimes I'm sitting there like "come on, does every lady in this show/movie/game gotta be the writer's sexy sexy blow-up-doll?"

 

As a result, yeah, I tend to walk the other direction when I meet a female character and it reads in a way that's just straight-up slimy and objectifying-- like the player is typing with one hand, describing the character's luscious lips and alluring gaze in every post. Which, alright, there's a place for that, enjoy that-- I've just been repulsed by it too much elsewhere to want to have any part of it here.

 

As it's been said a few times in this thread, if you're really wanting to play a lifelike character of your opposite gender, it's easy! Just play a person, not a sentient pair of jiggling, heaving breasts that shimmer oh-so sensually in the pale moonlight. The rest will follow, I promise! And if you really still want a sexy character, use a little "show, don't tell"-- make your character's personality one that proves appealing to other characters.

 

Ugh, well said. I've seen a few overly sexualized female characters in my time. It's so blatant and, quite frankly, a bit insulting. lol

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It's not difficult for me to play female characters - I just have less of an interest in them than I do in male characters, and I'm very comfortably female OOCly.

 

I didn't mean to imply that you found it difficult, but there were several people in the thread saying that playing a different gender than their own was too daunting. I just wanted to drive home that more than anything, this is usually just a mental block. All you have to do is create a character!

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While no one's ever had a problem with me doing it personally, I have had friends who were outcast or mocked for playing chars of another gender. In my experiences, anyone who finds themselves so heavily concerned with the IRL gender of a character's player is typically either one of two things:

 

  1. Guilty of blending the line between IC & OOC and should, frankly, be avoided.
  2. They could be someone who is offended by how a gender is being portrayed -- namely, in an extremely negative and/or stereotypical light.

 

The second is a potentially legitimate concern, provided the offender in question is actually doing something with their RP that blatantly shames or fetishizes a gender they're not. I find that this is a VERY rare circumstance, however. More often than not, they're just blending, and I highly suggest ignoring anyone who does.

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