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Your Gender vs. Your Character's


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It's not difficult for me to play female characters - I just have less of an interest in them than I do in male characters, and I'm very comfortably female OOCly.

 

I didn't mean to imply that you found it difficult, but there were several people in the thread saying that playing a different gender than their own was too daunting. I just wanted to drive home that more than anything, this is usually just a mental block. All you have to do is create a character!

 

Ah yep, no problem. :) :thumbsup:

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While no one's ever had a problem with me doing it personally, I have had friends who were outcast or mocked for playing chars of another gender. In my experiences, anyone who finds themselves so heavily concerned with the IRL gender of a character's player is typically either one of two things:

 

  1. Guilty of blending the line between IC & OOC and should, frankly, be avoided.
  2. They could be someone who is offended by how a gender is being portrayed -- namely, in an extremely negative and/or stereotypical light.

 

The second is a potentially legitimate concern, provided the offender in question is actually doing something with their RP that blatantly shames or fetishizes a gender they're not. I find that this is a VERY rare circumstance, however. More often than not, they're just blending, and I highly suggest ignoring anyone who does.

 

They actually outcast and mocked your friends? Wow, that's so bad. :/ People are horrible.

 

What do you mean by 'blending'?

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What do you mean by 'blending'?

 

To put it simply, those who are 'blending' are having difficulty separating IC from OOC. Their character is getting close to your character? They think they're getting close to you. Their character falls in love with yours? They think they're in love with you.

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What do you mean by 'blending'?

 

To put it simply, those who are 'blending' are having difficulty separating IC from OOC. Their character is getting close to your character? They think they're getting close to you. Their character falls in love with yours? They think they're in love with you.

 

 

Ohh yep, I know about that. I just wasn't sure of the term.

 

Well, here's hoping all that sort of behaviour is in the past. I think it's more likely to happen with/from younger players (teens) than old. I certainly haven't experienced any crazies like that in the last several years. Definitely when I was younger, though. Bleh.

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I mostly play male characters nowadays, though I'm not actually sure why. In some other games, I choose male characters to avoid skimpy clothing, but FFXIV is thankfully more consistent with how gear looks between different genders.

 

When I was younger, some of my character concepts were based on the (probably) silly idea that changing the gender of a stereotype makes it less cliché and more interesting. For example, I had a character who was pretty much the usual "damsel in distress" (insecure, naive, kind, prone to worrying and physically weak) except that the character was male. It feels strange to think in hindsight that I used to claim that characters' gender didn't matter... while still subconsciously believing that insecure and vulnerable men and badass women were more interesting than their other gender counterparts. >.>'

 

I suppose aesthetics play a large part in my character creation. I like the way male Midlanders look, so my main is one, but I feel both his gender and my own gender are largely irrelevant in my interactions online. I've received some flak and questions in the past when people have found out that my gender doesn't correspond to my character's gender, so nowadays I don't tend to mention it unless I am friends with the other person or the person is having gross misconceptions.

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I used to RP male characters, but then it turns out many times that I am simply not good at it.:chocobo: My guys seemed a bit too emotional for a male's perspective. So from that point,  I went to RP females only. The only reason is that I can empathise with my own gender most, creating memorable stories and situations with different characters such as in stern environments or lesbian romance. At the end it did involve realistic intentions. Thanks to my other friend whos a lesbian in real life, her thoughts and advice made up RP that is completely different from when men RP female gay characters. It is a completely different world, I tell ya!

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I used to RP male characters, but then it turns out many times that I am simply not good at it.:chocobo: My guys seemed a bit too emotional for a male's perspective. So from that point,  I went to RP females only. The only reason is that I can empathise with my own gender most, creating memorable stories and situations with different characters such as in stern environments or lesbian romance. At the end it did involve realistic intentions. Thanks to my other friend whos a lesbian in real life, her thoughts and advice made up RP that is completely different from when men RP female gay characters. It is a completely different world, I tell ya!

That's very interesting! O.o... Do you think it's more that guys who play lesbian female characters do it more for OOC purposes, like are the characters more smutty - or what did you notice the differences were?

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There's a difference though (I may be biased) between men who RP a female who happens to be a lesbian, then a male who plays a female just to be lesbian?

 

I'll use my own personal example: I play Savona Drake, technically a bi-sexual female, who I will admit, can be rather smutty at times. Granted all my characters are, even the males. But you won't catch her out sleeping with anything that walks. That being said, she's open to either genders, but so far all that has really shown interest in her are female characters. Had they been male would of made no difference. On the other hand, you see males playing females just to be lesbian and fulfill some fantasy/fetish with it and seldom partake in any RP that does not center around it.

 

Long story short, please don't lump all of us males roleplaying as lesbian females into one basket. We are not all out to get just the fantasy from it. We are character first, orientation second.

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Long story short, please don't lump all of us males roleplaying as lesbian females into one basket. We are not all out to get just the fantasy from it. We are character first, orientation second.

 

Sorry, Six. Of course I didn't mean to insinuate that every male played like that. I should have put in a 'some' there somewhere. :sleepy:

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Long story short, please don't lump all of us males roleplaying as lesbian females into one basket. We are not all out to get just the fantasy from it. We are character first, orientation second.

 

Sorry, Six. Of course I didn't mean to insinuate that every male played like that. I should have put in a 'some' there somewhere. :sleepy:

 

That was more of a "in general" reply, not directly linked to anything you specifically said, so you are all good!:thumbsup:

 

Besides, I've choosen to RP a character type that does have a stigma about them, so it would be hard for me to be offended when fantasy thrills is the majority if the reason males RP as lesbians. So I expect it now and then:)

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I mostly stick to RPing female characters which happen to match my gender, but I've RPed male characters and ones where their gender isn't clear to most people I've RPed with. I think most of my deal is that I really like drawing ladies. I've never really had problems RPing the opposite gender believably - maybe it's because I don't go for hyper-masculine characters or maybe I have a gender neutral way of typing. lolidk

 

Anecdotally, I've found that I don't really get too many creeps trying to fish for ERP or ship RP that they think applies OOCly too. I don't know if it's because my characters tend to be boring or not conventionally attractive but I'm happy to be free of the horror stories many people have.

 

Along with everyone else I don't really care who RPs what. I ain't gonna yell at people for what they do in their free time. Honestly, it annoys me more when people don't own their stuff. If you find girl on girl/guy on guy hot, that's fine. Be respectful in your portrayals and if you're gonna ERP all day just don't make me bear witness with my unconsenting eyes. >:C

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That's very interesting! O.o... Do you think it's more that guys who play lesbian female characters do it more for OOC purposes, like are the characters more smutty - or what did you notice the differences were?

 

 

From what I have experienced, I can always tell if it is a male player because of their RP body language and what they intend in terms of developing a relationship. Men tend to RP lesbians a lot smuttier and are very flirtatious (not generalising! Just from the demographics I have experienced! I have encountered men who RP lesbians a lot less than that but the numbers are very few). 

 

Meanwhile, a female playing a lesbian character almost always wants to develop a platonic relationship. And later escalate to a "sisterhood" kind of relationship which later develops in to romantic. Lesbian characters who are played by females almost always focus on the emotional side of the relationship, being smutty is just a cherry on top.

 

In the meanwhile, finding a female player who RPs a lesbian is such a rarity It's better to be done with your friends for such RP encounters.

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im a gay girl irl so why not play a gay guy in game?

I always have played male characters, dunno why, I just like to go opposite of myself kind of? In the 10+ years I've been rping I've mostly RPed as men.

Of course I play some girls too, but mostly I just play men.

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I'm a girl IRL but I tend to RP only men since years by now. :) 

More specifically, I like to get into the role of a muscular, stubborn and dominant type - with my Mi'qote I'm definitely going for the aggressive and brawny nunh type, even though the origins of my character are very detached from typical mi'qote tribal culture.

A background that I'm not going to mention because it's unrelated to this thread's main topic, but anyway!

 

I defininely love RPing men. I can relate to their mentality a lot and I absolutely find it entertaining to portray testosterone and pride, with all of its negative implications. ;)

 

 

Nevermind the fact that I find men generally more visually appealing to have on my screen all the time, I'm actually very into the psychological aspect of it all. I think I understand men fairly well, the way they work, what brings them to say/do certain things and to "re-create them" into RP is a huge source of entertainment.

It takes me far away from who I am IRL, it forces me to 'swap' my brain for another, to revolution my personality and my way of thinking, and that is as challenging as it is intriguing. 

 

Women can be fun and everything, but it bores me to death to play one. I really don't find it stimulating, more often than not it feels like a lukewarm waste of time and I don't even know why. Maybe because I'm already one and it just feels like a repeat of what it already is, more or less? I don't know.

 

I just know that I love my IC men, with all their perks and flaws, just as long as their psychology-structure stays realistic and deep, I'm always happy.

 

I also find that men played by women tend to turn out extremely interesting, they have an 'added flavour' sometimes that I can't quite explain. More often than not, they are very motley personality-wise, very intriguing.

 

It happened several times that one of my characters got into a gay romance with a male played by another girl, and the quality of the writing, of the feelings and everything that orbited around it was pretty much excellent. Not once have I thought that they didn't pull off a man exceedingly well. (Yes, I'm one of those 'females playing men-loving men'! :P Although my guys tend to be always bisexual, just with a light penchant towards their own gender.)

But, ah, that's beside the point. :D

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I'm a girl IRL but I tend to RP only men since years by now. :) 

More specifically, I like to get into the role of a muscular, stubborn and dominant type - with my Mi'qote I'm definitely going for the aggressive and brawny nunh type, even though the origins of my character are very detached from typical mi'qote tribal culture.

A background that I'm not going to mention because it's unrelated to this thread's main topic, but anyway!

 

I defininely love RPing men. I can relate to their mentality a lot and I absolutely find it entertaining to portray testosterone and pride, with all of its negative implications. ;)

 

 

Nevermind the fact that I find men generally more visually appealing to have on my screen all the time, I'm actually very into the psychological aspect of it all. I think I understand men fairly well, the way they work, what brings them to say/do certain things and to "re-create them" into RP is a huge source of entertainment.

It takes me far away from who I am IRL, it forces me to 'swap' my brain for another, to revolution my personality and my way of thinking, and that is as challenging as it is intriguing. 

 

Women can be fun and everything, but it bores me to death to play one. I really don't find it stimulating, more often than not it feels like a lukewarm waste of time and I don't even know why. Maybe because I'm already one and it just feels like a repeat of what it already is, more or less? I don't know.

 

I just know that I love my IC men, with all their perks and flaws, just as long as their psychology-structure stays realistic and deep, I'm always happy.

 

I also find that men played by women tend to turn out extremely interesting, they have an 'added flavour' sometimes that I can't quite explain. More often than not, they are very motley personality-wise, very intriguing.

 

It happened several times that one of my characters got into a gay romance with a male played by another girl, and the quality of the writing, of the feelings and everything that orbited around it was pretty much excellent. Not once have I thought that they didn't pull off a man exceedingly well. (Yes, I'm one of those 'females playing men-loving men'! :P Although my guys tend to be always bisexual, just with a light penchant towards their own gender.)

But, ah, that's beside the point. :D

That's great. What a wonderful answer to read. And actually, I'm the same with all of that EXCEPT - my guys are always straight. Nothing wrong with bisexual or any of that, it's just how I play them. :P

 

But yeah - women for me are terribly boring to play. I'm not inspired to create female characters as I am to create male ones, and they don't hold my interest. I love READING a well-written female character, played by a man or woman (doesn't matter to me), but just... no interest to do it, myself. xD

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Women can be fun and everything, but it bores me to death to play one. I really don't find it stimulating, more often than not it feels like a lukewarm waste of time and I don't even know why. Maybe because I'm already one and it just feels like a repeat of what it already is, more or less? I don't know.

 

This bit really is how I feel. I'm a guy, but I tend to RP females. Why? Because honestly, I'm a guy 24/7. It's something new. 

 

Glad to know the other side of the fence feels the same way!

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I've always seen this question pop up and I hear answers from alllllllll different sides and different types of people. Personally, I am a woman and I write for women more than I do for men, but I never really gave it any thought. I know aesthetically I find women more pleasing and if I'm going to be sitting in a game to RP, I want something nice to look at - so I'm sure that's a good chunk of the reasoning, at least for me.

 

An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

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I've always seen this question pop up and I hear answers from alllllllll different sides and different types of people. Personally, I am a woman and I write for women more than I do for men, but I never really gave it any thought. I know aesthetically I find women more pleasing and if I'm going to be sitting in a game to RP, I want something nice to look at - so I'm sure that's a good chunk of the reasoning, at least for me.

 

An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

If you're a woman playing a man (especially a hot woman) the guys that are hostile are usually interested in you OOC but can't progress it through IC bleed because they don't play gay characters.

 

Cause I know several girls who play guys and I haven't had any reason to hate them for it. Cause it doesn't bother me. Lol

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I've always seen this question pop up and I hear answers from alllllllll different sides and different types of people. Personally, I am a woman and I write for women more than I do for men, but I never really gave it any thought. I know aesthetically I find women more pleasing and if I'm going to be sitting in a game to RP, I want something nice to look at - so I'm sure that's a good chunk of the reasoning, at least for me.

 

An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

If you're a woman playing a man (especially a hot woman) the guys that are hostile are usually interested in you OOC but can't progress it through IC bleed because they don't play gay characters.

 

Cause I know several girls who play guys and I haven't had any reason to hate them for it. Cause it doesn't bother me. Lol

 

I know in her case she is very attractive and plays a very attractive mostly-straight male character. We ASSUME that it's jealousy on the male player parts, but I never really considered the OOC interest not being able to be progressed IC. That's an interesting (and creepo) thought. Huh!

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An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

 

What I also find interesting here is, if you play a male miqo'te with the last name "Nunh", the harrassment seems to be able to rival what female ooc/ic players can experience in the shape of nasty tells. My general opinion is that Balmung used to be way worse than it is, presently - You can go into the Quicksand on a female character without getting a single creepy tell, these days. 

 

As for OOC aggression from men, I've seen the people who have strong opinions about it but haven't has the (dis)pleasure of interacting with them more than once. As I see it, they are a minority - that can just be a bit vocal. It's nothing I'd compare to ending up with a stalker-type that is out to manipulate you ooc for various reasons, including the standard guy-wants-gamer-girl. So I think if girls want to play guys to get away from that kind of harassment it's still a fairly effective shield.

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An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

 

What I also find interesting here is, if you play a male miqo'te with the last name "Nunh", the harrassment seems to be able to rival what female ooc/ic players can experience in the shape of nasty tells. My general opinion is that Balmung used to be way worse than it is, presently - You can go into the Quicksand on a female character without getting a single creepy tell, these days. 

 

As for OOC aggression from men, I've seen the people who have strong opinions about it but haven't has the (dis)pleasure of interacting with them more than once. As I see it, they are a minority - that can just be a bit vocal. It's nothing I'd compare to ending up with a stalker-type that is out to manipulate you ooc for various reasons, including the standard guy-wants-gamer-girl. So I think if girls want to play guys to get away from that kind of harassment it's still a fairly effective shield.

 

What the heck, are you serious? Lmao, WHY? Do people get weirdly defensive of others writing as a literal 'alpha' male type of character? That is such a strange thing - being more defensive of Nunh as opposed to Tia. They're all dude characters in the end.

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An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

 

I received poor treatment on my female characters from other female characters, but it always felt like it was more OOC crap THROUGH their characters than the characters, themselves.

 

Playing male characters, almost all of the attention I get is positive. My male characters are generally widely liked - which is a relief because I do prefer to play them. >.>

 

So far, every interaction I've had with OOC men due to RP has been pleasant. I have a couple of close friends who are males, and who know I play a male character (and one of them actually has a female who is in love with one of my male characters, ha). It's all about maturity in the end. Everyone I'm surrounded by is pretty mature, so the drama of old is thankfully very rare.

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An interesting note is that I have friends that are women that play men due to poor treatment they received on their female characters. Though they also say as a woman playing a man (a very well liked one), they get a lot of hostility OOC from men. Anyone else experience this?

 

What I also find interesting here is, if you play a male miqo'te with the last name "Nunh", the harrassment seems to be able to rival what female ooc/ic players can experience in the shape of nasty tells. My general opinion is that Balmung used to be way worse than it is, presently - You can go into the Quicksand on a female character without getting a single creepy tell, these days. 

 

As for OOC aggression from men, I've seen the people who have strong opinions about it but haven't has the (dis)pleasure of interacting with them more than once. As I see it, they are a minority - that can just be a bit vocal. It's nothing I'd compare to ending up with a stalker-type that is out to manipulate you ooc for various reasons, including the standard guy-wants-gamer-girl. So I think if girls want to play guys to get away from that kind of harassment it's still a fairly effective shield.

 

What the heck, are you serious? Lmao, WHY? Do people get weirdly defensive of others writing as a literal 'alpha' male type of character? That is such a strange thing - being more defensive of Nunh as opposed to Tia. They're all dude characters in the end.

i think it's primarily a combination of power dynamics in the rp community and the presumption that someone who would choose to play a nunh would do so with the express intent of pursuing ERP.

 

re: the power dynamics, a nunh is a character with some degree of power in the lore & characters that are powerful are held to higher standards than characters that aren't powerful. e.g. if your character is super powerful but you aren't a top notch grade A roleplayer people will hate you, but they'll forgive a non-powerful character played by a lower quality RPer.

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I am a woman and a vast majority of my characters are as well. I'm not exactly bad at writing men, but I'm not as good at it. Not that my characters' genders are all that important to who they are as people, only a few would be fundamentally different if they were a different gender, but there's an intangible thing that I don't seem to get right with my couple of male characters. I don't know what it is that I don't get right, but Lhusi'ir hadn't ever felt quite real.

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i think it's primarily a combination of power dynamics in the rp community and the presumption that someone who would choose to play a nunh would do so with the express intent of pursuing ERP.

 

re: the power dynamics, a nunh is a character with some degree of power in the lore & characters that are powerful are held to higher standards than characters that aren't powerful. e.g. if your character is super powerful but you aren't a top notch grade A roleplayer people will hate you, but they'll forgive a non-powerful character played by a lower quality RPer.

 

That's always struck me as so silly, personally - the writing/RP experience/ability equating to how accepting people will be of you, but alas~

 

I guess being relatively new to FFXIV RP, even though I know the cultural implications of what a Nunh is, I don't really consider them to have a lot of power. But then again, I do play a character that kinda threw up the middle finger to all of that, so that probably has a bit to do with it! So I see and understand your point!

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