Jump to content

No Love for Straight Women


Recommended Posts

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Replies 59
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Just my speculation and two cents here... Nerdy communities are often a gathering place for people who are oppressed or otherwise don't fit in IRL. RP communities are even nerdier communities within a

If a player is 'offended' that your character won't hook up with theirs, for whatever reason, then eject. Immediately. As with pretty much any rp scenario, if players start treating you awkwardly or b

Here's my bluntly stated take on it, as someone who does and has played all the things, but has RPed more straight men than anything in total:  In my experience, which is of course just my experien

Currently, I'm having this issue right now. I'm a Man who RP's Male characters. So far? I feel like I'm entirely ignored in RP. Ironically I just made a post about this and stumbled on yours.

I'm not even trying to initiate in ERP. I just want genuine RP and to get a good group of people I can RP with and build a fun story. But even saying hello to someone, I am ignored entirely, even when I see that player is active.

BUT THE SECOND I RP a Female character, suddenly everyone responds. Amazing.

I never have this issue in WoW, RP is very open and available to everyone. No one gets isolated because they RP a Straight Male Character. The community doesn't alienate each other with the exception of maybe a small few.

It's lonely and isolating. I don't RP a Female Character because I don't connect with that. It feels weird for me to do so, So I don't do it.

Anyway, I feel your pain. It's no fun.

Link to post
  • 1 year later...

I totally get this. It seems just as hard to find a straight woman that's into a more het rp. Even straight players I have ran into have bi characters for the rp. I also feel a lot like some of the posts made by straight rpers that I'm kind of being isolated and left out just because I prefer to play a straight character and also prefer to rp intimate or romantic situations with a female player. Someone commented and said that it seems to rude to just ask and it might seem rude, but honestly I'm at the point where I don't really care about sounding rude. Responding with "it's just RP" or "Well have you ever tried being gay" is just as rude. I don't mind rping with someone that's rping a character who is the opposite gender or gay or whatever they want to be. But when it comes to certain situations like the OP mentioned when it comes to romance or even intimate situations. I would prefer that RP be with an actual female on the other side. I don't care if it's "just RP" I don't want to have intimate situations with another guy. Sorry, not sorry. 

But back to the feeling isolated and left out part just for being straight. It doesn't make much sense to me. I am super happy that LGBTQ players have a place they can come to and feel like they can be themselves. That's fantastic, but it shouldn't come at the price of pushing out straight players either. Especially after how hard the LGBTQ community has fought over the years to be accepted and respected for their preferences. Well us straight people deserve for our preferences to be respected and accepted too. Either everyone's preferences deserve respect, or nobody's deserve respect. 

I've also had moments where I would just bite the bullet and RP at a club that had all female dancers, played by gay or bi male players. I eventually left because they kept harassing me and not respecting my boundaries that I wasn't into doing things like that with another dude. "Have you ever tried being gay?" I thought the whole argument was that they were born like that in the first place. I agree with that sentiment because I know I was born straight. 

Link to post

That's just how it is in mmos.   The spread is usually LGBTQ leaning because it's the only place we can truly be accepted.  Thing is, there's plenty of straight women rping.  Though, I hardly pry into people's IRL lives, I've met plenty of rpers comfortable to tell me as such.

Link to post
13 hours ago, Killpond said:

I totally get this. It seems just as hard to find a straight woman that's into a more het rp. Even straight players I have ran into have bi characters for the rp. I also feel a lot like some of the posts made by straight rpers that I'm kind of being isolated and left out just because I prefer to play a straight character and also prefer to rp intimate or romantic situations with a female player. Someone commented and said that it seems to rude to just ask and it might seem rude, but honestly I'm at the point where I don't really care about sounding rude. Responding with "it's just RP" or "Well have you ever tried being gay" is just as rude. I don't mind rping with someone that's rping a character who is the opposite gender or gay or whatever they want to be. But when it comes to certain situations like the OP mentioned when it comes to romance or even intimate situations. I would prefer that RP be with an actual female on the other side. I don't care if it's "just RP" I don't want to have intimate situations with another guy. Sorry, not sorry. 

But back to the feeling isolated and left out part just for being straight. It doesn't make much sense to me. I am super happy that LGBTQ players have a place they can come to and feel like they can be themselves. That's fantastic, but it shouldn't come at the price of pushing out straight players either. Especially after how hard the LGBTQ community has fought over the years to be accepted and respected for their preferences. Well us straight people deserve for our preferences to be respected and accepted too. Either everyone's preferences deserve respect, or nobody's deserve respect. 

I've also had moments where I would just bite the bullet and RP at a club that had all female dancers, played by gay or bi male players. I eventually left because they kept harassing me and not respecting my boundaries that I wasn't into doing things like that with another dude. "Have you ever tried being gay?" I thought the whole argument was that they were born like that in the first place. I agree with that sentiment because I know I was born straight. 


You are 100% not being oppressed by LGBT+ people because you can't find RL women to RP het ships with, nor is your "suffering" over your pretendy-times at all comparable to the things they face. Get that outta here. (Also, sorry to say but for that matter, a good portion of wlw characters are played by cishet men, so it seems like some weird projection to blame your issues on the RL LGBT+ community). As a RL woman who RP's primarily m/f ships, I would never be comfortable RPing with anyone who hinges our RP on me being female. I hard avoid that sort of attitude, and that's not even touching on all the homophobic undertones here. You're really just hurting your own chances by driving people away from you. I recommend looking at what you could do to make your role-play more appealing and accessible to others rather than pointing the finger at other people to blame them for your lack of success in finding the RP you're looking for.

Link to post
7 hours ago, Faye said:


You are 100% not being oppressed by LGBT+ people because you can't find RL women to RP het ships with, nor is your "suffering" over your pretendy-times at all comparable to the things they face. Get that outta here. (Also, sorry to say but for that matter, a good portion of wlw characters are played by cishet men, so it seems like some weird projection to blame your issues on the RL LGBT+ community). As a RL woman who RP's primarily m/f ships, I would never be comfortable RPing with anyone who hinges our RP on me being female. I hard avoid that sort of attitude, and that's not even touching on all the homophobic undertones here. You're really just hurting your own chances by driving people away from you. I recommend looking at what you could do to make your role-play more appealing and accessible to others rather than pointing the finger at other people to blame them for your lack of success in finding the RP you're looking for.


And here is part of the issue. No where in my post did I say anything homophobic. I actually said I was happy for LGBTQ players to have a place they feel they can be themselves. I also didn't blame the RL LGBTQ community. I was just recounting my own personal experiences like every other straight person in this thread that said they felt ignored. However, because I elaborated a little bit on how it made me feel and my thoughts on it. Someone took offense and automatically I'm some kind of homophobe cause I don't want to RP with someone who is gay. Which isn't what I said at all. I just don't want to get into a romance or intimate RP with another guy. I don't mind RPing stories, friendships or whatever else with anyone who is gay or anyone who RPs as the opposite gender. Which I already said. But the reaction to it all also touches upon something else that goes beyond RP that I won't go into here. I'll just conclude with what I've already said. Either everyone's preferences deserves respect, or nobody's does.

PS. I have had a lot of RPs with a lot of people. It is the romance and intimate moments (which the thread was originally about) that I'm speaking on. But you are also free to interpret whatever you read however you want. However, just because that's what you think I was saying doesn't mean that's what I was actually saying if you actually read my post. 

Link to post
9 hours ago, Killpond said:


And here is part of the issue. No where in my post did I say anything homophobic. I actually said I was happy for LGBTQ players to have a place they feel they can be themselves. I also didn't blame the RL LGBTQ community. I was just recounting my own personal experiences like every other straight person in this thread that said they felt ignored. However, because I elaborated a little bit on how it made me feel and my thoughts on it. Someone took offense and automatically I'm some kind of homophobe cause I don't want to RP with someone who is gay. Which isn't what I said at all. I just don't want to get into a romance or intimate RP with another guy. I don't mind RPing stories, friendships or whatever else with anyone who is gay or anyone who RPs as the opposite gender. Which I already said. But the reaction to it all also touches upon something else that goes beyond RP that I won't go into here. I'll just conclude with what I've already said. Either everyone's preferences deserves respect, or nobody's does.

PS. I have had a lot of RPs with a lot of people. It is the romance and intimate moments (which the thread was originally about) that I'm speaking on. But you are also free to interpret whatever you read however you want. However, just because that's what you think I was saying doesn't mean that's what I was actually saying if you actually read my post. 


You can say homophobic things without straight up saying "I hate gay people" or anything ridiculous like that, or even necessarily feeling like you have any dislike toward LGBT+ people. That is why said "undertones," because it's nothing so overt. We all have internalized biases sometimes that even we are blind to that we have to unlearn, ignorant and uneducated opinions, etc. Part of being a responsible adult is examining and unlearning all that. If you frequently have this issue of people jumping on you for homophobia, I've got to say I don't feel that's a common problem for well-meaning people with no sort of underlying issues there. I'd recommend examining your own words and attitudes, as I said in my first post. Assuming I'm the "someone" you're talking about, at no point did I say you don't want to RP with gay people. Your post is messed up for entirely different reasons. But as, again, I said in my initial post, it seems like you want to find blame for your problems somewhere external rather than do any sort of reflection.

I suppose I can't technically refute how "every other straight person" in this thread feels, being bisexual, but that feels like splitting hairs when my main RP character is a straight woman, therefore for the most past, I face the same RP difficulties or lack thereof. But I did chime in here ages and ages ago when this thread was still fresh and talk about my experiences, where I've found no shortage of male characters (even and especially played by RL men) who are interested in RPing with me. And I'll say now, as I didn't in my first post here, that I've also seen no shortage of female characters (even and especially played by RL women) trying to pursue them ahaha. I really don't feel like this is a universal problem for every RPer here wanting to RP m/f ships.

I did read your post and at no point did I assume or infer your requirements about anyone's RL gender pertain to all RP, only romantic relationships and ERP, as that is, yes, what you said. Again, you are accusing me of assuming while you're the one assuming things about my words. My point is that as a RL woman, with the sort of harassment and unwanted attention I already face, especially in these sort of communities, that is the last sort of person I'd feel comfortable RPing any romantically intimate or sexual RP with. I explicitly don't RP relationships with anyone who holds these viewpoints, because the likelihood of it to lead to drama or bad times for me is so, so much higher.
 

I'm here to write and play my character. If my RL gender matters to you, I don't feel like you're here for the same reasons. Which, on paper, is okay. We don't have to RP for the same reasons or get the same thing out of it. Like you said, and the one point I entirely agree with, is that everyone's preferences and boundaries should be respected. My point is only that I believe you've limited yourself more than anyone else has limited you. There are already so many factors in determining compatibility between people. RPing superheroes from another universe is already a pretty niche concept that goes against the grain of what most people here would like to RP, and you are stacking more and more hurdles on top of that. If you want to be picky or off-putting, you have to accept you're limiting yourself by doing these things, rather than blaming others for falling short of your standards.

I'm not getting into it any further, because I don't want to further derail this already necro'd thread or cause too much trouble here, not to mention I feel I've already said all I have to say and it would just become a circular conversation from here, so that's the last I'll say on it.

Edited by Faye
Link to post

Dealing with the same thing when it comes to my character's i play males tho i like to play female characters, trying to find someone long term is harder than it looks "for me" can't speak for anyone else. I have a few characters on different servers which i don't need, but more of a checking a server's community and what its like and how i feel about it. 

 

For instance I mostly moved from IMVU where i RP as an Alpha Wolf Male, and for a while wanted to make my pack on ffxiv for a while now, just not sure what rp is best and what's worst. For example people say Balmung #1 and Mateus being a close 2nd? but i see that they lock up the servers a lot so no sure about making a RP fc on it let alone finding a straight female to rp long term with.

Hade an rp "mate" once on ffxiv a long time ago, was great, ewe where matching clothes and such. But when i couldn't get on for a month came back to find out she left the fc we worked on on, changed her name, and look. I found her again after help from people on the server. But told me some stuff that i was doing that she did not like (mind you she never told me anything before or during our time together) and so on. Which was annoying, but got over it and moved on. Finding someone new since has been the ultimate struggle lolz. Since everyone is lv 80 already and too busy doing other stuff to be bothered with me lol.

But sorry if i did not make any sense but feel free to correct me if i'm wrong or to ask what i mean. :P or DM me whichever works best.

Link to post

As a straight female RPer, who came into RP not looking for romantic plot threads and feel into SEVERAL by accident, I can tell you that the stories and the players are out there. You may just need to look outside certain circles to find it. A lot of it is networking with players, meeting their connections and sometimes just walking up and interacting with folk in game. I had my character literally fall over someone in game and it led to a long term plotline. Mind you, I usually get "Wow I don't usually get such great response from walkups!" but .. heh.

 

Read people's cards, send them a tell and have your character run into them. Same as in real life. Just put yourself out there and you never know.

 

That being said I KNOW LGBTQ+ characters are overrepresented and that it's hard for male characters to get attention. I've seen it and heard it from so many players. So it can be tough, for both sides. You just gotta just keep at it. It helps to RP publicly. One of my current RP friends stalked my RP and now we type at each other a lot. Find those weird connections. 

Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...