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Penelope

I blew it. Please help

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Well today I attempted my first role play experience. I thought I understood what was going on and had talked to the leader beforehand. Apparently there were certain nuances I was unaware of and I think I came off very rude and uncouth. I’m very embarrassed and discouraged and unsure how to recover from this and unsure if I should try again. Any advice is welcome. Thank you. 

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Could you elaborate a bit more? What sorts of things did you do that weren't received well? While it's certainly possible you may have stepped on someone's toes, it's also just as likely that what you did was something only those specific people didn't like.

 

I can't really provide any specific advice but in general, there are any number of reasons one RPer may not mesh well with another. I wouldn't call it off after a single bad experience as it could just be the case you haven't found a group that fits well.

 

My first RP, I ended up power gaming and wasn't even aware I'd done something wrong until another person pointed it out. From there, I was able to make adjustments and things went well! Some advice from a person from way back was "remember that you're the side character in someone else's main character." It's important to keep in mind that while you should have jurisdiction over your character's actions, that you also leave room for someone to have the same for theirs. Most other things come down to preferences and opinions and there are SO MANY people RPing in this game that you're likely to find a bunch with a similar mindset.

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11 hours ago, Unnamed Mercenary said:

Could you elaborate a bit more? What sorts of things did you do that weren't received well? While it's certainly possible you may have stepped on someone's toes, it's also just as likely that what you did was something only those specific people didn't like.

 

I can't really provide any specific advice but in general, there are any number of reasons one RPer may not mesh well with another. I wouldn't call it off after a single bad experience as it could just be the case you haven't found a group that fits well.

 

My first RP, I ended up power gaming and wasn't even aware I'd done something wrong until another person pointed it out. From there, I was able to make adjustments and things went well! Some advice from a person from way back was "remember that you're the side character in someone else's main character." It's important to keep in mind that while you should have jurisdiction over your character's actions, that you also leave room for someone to have the same for theirs. Most other things come down to preferences and opinions and there are SO MANY people RPing in this game that you're likely to find a bunch with a similar mindset.


Thank you very much for your comment. Basically I was told that I “strolled in and acted like the house was my own.” It was not my intention at all. I thought that it was agreed upon from the night before that it was cool for me to would preform on the stage at the establishment. I went inside and waved said that I had prepared a dance if anyone wanted to watch. Evidently this pissed people off bc I didn’t properly coordinate with them. I was never told that I needed to do that, my mistake. Once I saw that someone was already on the stage I went and sat down, I never tried to get on stage with them or anything. I was basically told that I lacked common courtesy and I felt really embarrassed and after sitting for a few minutes I logged out. I was just really excited to do my first rp, had made a special outfit and dancing macro and now I feel like a complete idiot and I feel really bad that I acted like it was all about me. I should’ve went about it much differently but didn’t really know what I was doing. I don’t know if I should apologize again to the leader or just not talk to them and not visit that establishment again. 

Edited by Penelope
Forgot a word

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Performance RP's a bit outside of what i'm familiar with, but that sounds like an honest mistake. Especially if you're also getting used to the game and the RP environment as well.

 

I'd suggest apologizing again to the leader or some of the others involved and let them know you're still getting used to RP in FFXIV and that it was a mistake. If they're receptive to it, perhaps you can even work to coordinate with them and things will work out for the better? And if they brush you off or don't accept it, then move on to some other people. Perhaps attend a few events as a guest and then inquire about how they're run and how to get involved yourself. 

 

It's a common mistake to grab the spotlight out of nowhere, whether intentionally or not, and it's something that people who've gotten settled into RP often forget about. To the hosters, it probably did come off as rude and jarring because it wasn't something they had planned for, but I'd be willing to bet they've all done the same at some point. People just tend to forget about their first few scenes or what they were like when they started out. 

 

I'm not sure if you're used to RP in another MMO, or perhaps another format like forum, tabletop, etc, but FFXIV's tends to be a bit different from the others, although with people playing multiple games, MMO RP tends to be pretty similar to an extent. Going forwards, if you're unsure about something, I'd just ask the coordinators! The majority of people RPing in FFXIV have been really friendly and helpful in my experiences, and I'm sure they could help give some pointers or tips that they've found that work well for them. Don't get iscouraged after a single try!

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Thanks :) all helpful suggestions. I feel a little better about the whole ordeal. I appreciate you listening and helping. 

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Were you scolded out of character or in character?

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7 hours ago, Valence said:

Were you scolded out of character or in character?

Out of character, in a tell 

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As long as they understood it was a misunderstanding...

 

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It's always a good idea to hammer out all the details beforehand and ask if there's anything you need to know or ask any specific questions you might have. You never know what a host/venue owner might have planned, so it's important to ask them when they'd like you to go on stage. All in all, though, it's a pretty harmless mistake and an understandable one, especially if you're new. I don't see why a simple apology and explanation wouldn't suffice.

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Let me get this straight. You were told in OOC but not IN CHARACTER that you were being rude by... daring to perform before someone else? It sounds like you met a guild drama queen, if I was there i'd have given her a piece of my mind. That is bullying and never mind metagaming. They should apologise to you for upsetting you so much that you logged off.  You did nothing wrong. They are more experienced in RP therefor if they have a problem with something you are doing in character, it should be expressed in character, they think they can get away with bad behaviour because you are new. 

Edited by Akiba356

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2 hours ago, Akiba356 said:

Let me get this straight. You were told in OOC but not IN CHARACTER that you were being rude by... daring to perform before someone else? It sounds like you met a guild drama queen, if I was there i'd have given her a piece of my mind. That is bullying and never mind metagaming. They should apologise to you for upsetting you so much that you logged off.  You did nothing wrong. They are more experienced in RP therefor if they have a problem with something you are doing in character, it should be expressed in character, they think they can get away with bad behaviour because you are new. 


While how the event leaders handled things wasn't great, I don't think they were necessarily in the wrong for telling OP that trying to perform unexpectedly wasn't cool. In the same way that if a random person came onto a stage in a public setting that already had a schedule, people would be confused. Moreso if the person wasn't just cutting in line, but wasn't planned for to begin with. Had it been an open stage or something, then I could see your point more. Except unlike in real life, we do have a method to privately tell someone if they're doing something out of the norm. 

 

It's also entirely possible the event people are also not particularly experienced and while we've heard one side of the story and can provide feedback based on that, I find it a bit harsh to immediately brand the event people as rude for handling what they perceived as an issue or unexpected occurance OOC instead of IC. Could it have been handled better? More politely? Of course. Personally, I wouldn't even consider it metagaming considering how people can and do coordinate some of these events heavily off-screen or in dedicated discords/linkshells to keep an event running smoothly. Just like any live venue would have staff who all need to be on the same page in order to provide a functional service. 

 

In the future, I'd definitely hope the event leaders will/would be more understanding instead of immediately going off at someone who may not know they've even done something "wrong," but we also don't know if this was perhaps a case of OP asking one person and then it not being relayed to the reset of the people running the event.

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What you did seems an honest mistake.

Because it works a lot with timing of songs and is scheduled in a way so it doesn't go over a lot of performance rp is heavily scheduled so they may have been taken off guard if they did not receive a lot of ooc coordination beforehand. It is generally considered polite to check in icly and oocly with the people running the venue if you are planning to perform. I don't think the person was trying to be rude to you but rather was trying to politely inform you in a tell what was not acceptable to avoid any embaressment on your part.

That's my theory anyway, it's really surprising how many people assume the worst without talking and getting clarification, usually it's just a lost in translation issue.

You're okay, being excited to rp is good, let me tell you a lot of our first forays into RP have been much worse (my first experience I  jumped into a tavern and started Godmoding/powerplaying like I was hot shit).

 

I encourage you not to give up, i know you might be nervous but once you find your footing role play  can be a really enjoyable experience.

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On 11/13/2019 at 11:01 PM, Akiba356 said:

Let me get this straight. You were told in OOC but not IN CHARACTER that you were being rude by... daring to perform before someone else? It sounds like you met a guild drama queen, if I was there i'd have given her a piece of my mind. That is bullying and never mind metagaming. They should apologise to you for upsetting you so much that you logged off.  You did nothing wrong. They are more experienced in RP therefor if they have a problem with something you are doing in character, it should be expressed in character, they think they can get away with bad behaviour because you are new. 


A great deal of OOC planning can go into RP events. As someone who hosts performance RP events, I usually have a schedule for my performers that is pre-planned and they know when they are going on stage and we can keep the performances from running on too long, my performers sometimes have time constraints and may have to leave by a certain time, there's usually an IC introduction of each performer before they go on stage, etc. Someone taking the stage when they aren't supposed to can be recovered from, sure, but it's cause for some extra stress for everyone and may mess up some things that were planned. And while choosing to go on stage and perform may be an IC action, it's also something someone OOC decided to have their character do, and can throw a wrench into OOC plans. While it sounds like they didn't handle it the best way, it's not metagaming or bullying to be upset about that. While I'm all for organic RP and IC surprises, you do also have to take into consideration that events like that are often planned in advance and have a particular goal in mind, and disrupting that without getting OOC consent from the hosts is very rude to them, and the fault is not on them for "metagaming."

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A lot of points are being made and it's good to be aware of, but just don't let this experience get you down. You're new to the scene and regardless of how rude you may have come across, or what plans they had, they still didn't handle it in a respectful or proactive manner, from your statement anyway. Keep trying and don't let it phase you. If instances like this continue to happen with your company and they don't show the will or effort to help teach you then you should probably find an FC that is more helpful to your play level. It's nothing bad on those types of FCs but some are more tolerant and helpful to new RPers than others. Keep your chin up and you'll be fine.

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