I love it, great story! Your description of the fight seen came of fairly smooth, which is saying a lot. Most people, in my opinion, can't write action scenes well.
The only issues I could see offhand were a few minor grammatical errors, and I don't really care about those as I make them all the time myself so can't truely hold them over anyone else's head.
The only issues I could see offhand were a few minor grammatical errors, and I don't really care about those as I make them all the time myself so can't truely hold them over anyone else's head.
If you have a story for the paper, feel free to send me a message on the forums...