Hydaelyn Role-Players

Call me old, but I remember when RP was about immersion and "living" in the world you play in. ERP was looked down upon because roleplayers didn't want to come off as creeps just looking to cyber. Now it seems to have flipped and RP is just a way for people to hook up. Everywhere I look, especially on Balmung, it seem to be full of Miqo and now Au Ra that are just looking for a "good time." Look on the connections section and it's a lot of people looking for "romance" or flat out state they are prostitutes. I know this was always around (Goldshire), but it seems to be much more prevalent and out in the open these days than it's ever been.

It honestly makes me not want to RP anymore. I'm not looking for a date or ERP... Maybe I just don't fit with the "new" RP crowd.

It's really pretty sad. I'm really curious what your take is on this. Is this just me or do others see this too?

For the sake of avoiding sweeping generalisations, the RP crowd is exactly the same now as it was "back then", ERP and cybering included. The only difference is that RP as a hobby is now bigger, and therefore finding whatever you're interested in through random chance is statistically less likely.

Bear in mind that where you're looking for RP is just as important as what kind of RP you're looking for. Join an FC, or read some people's IC posts and reach out to them OOCly if they interest you. It's easy to wallflower around RP hubs and shake one's walking stick at all those damn kids who seem to be having so much fun, but what you're looking for is really not as out of reach as it may seem to be.

Everyone has their own facet of RP that works for them. That includes the narrative equivalents of the folk at bars prowling for a good time. Some characters are floosies. It happens and it's ok.

In the end everyone is doing their own thing and none if it is wrong. The best thing you can do is find a likeminded group of folk and RP with them. FFXIV's RP community is huge they ARE out there I promise. If you'd like we could even meet up for some RP later in the week if you'd like. I can recommend some communities as well.

Everyone has what they like and what they prefer to do and coexisting is much more enjoyable.

Uldah? Uldah.*







(I'm joking before people get their panties in a twist about how Ul'dah really does have good rp)

First things first, know that you're not alone! I've been on Balmung for a few years now and it has most definitely been a culture shock in regards to how blatant many people are about their desire to pursue erotic and romance based role-play. Back on the WoW server I played on in the European servers it was much less common to see it given such a heavy focus.

Some people do it well, of course, but you're not wrong in believing that it can be excessive. I've been burned quite a few times due to people approaching me with an offer for role-play only to then abandon me once they realise my character isn't going to sleep with them within a matter of hours - or even minutes of meeting them.

In other cases, weeks or even months of role-play have been rendered meaningless due to contacts suddenly deciding that established connections and plot points are to be ignored in favour of prioritising their character's romantic and/or sexual exploits above all else.

Yet don't be discouraged - there's still those of us who are more interested in long term, character driven role-play that doesn't lead into rolling around in the bedroom. My advice would be to specifically keep an eye out for role-players who are eager to head out into the game world over attending 'tavern nights' or 'date auctions'.

Just prepare yourself for disappointments - and then dust yourself and renew your efforts. If the idea of heading out into the game world on some sort of adventure appeals to you, feel free to hit me up because there's a good chance that we may be able to work something out!

(05-23-2017, 09:06 PM)Graeham Wrote: [ -> ]In other cases, weeks or even months of role-play have been rendered meaningless due to established contacts deciding that established connections and plot points are to be ignored in favour of prioritising their character's romantic and/or sexual exploits above all else.

Can I say that was something I didn't see coming? My character got married and after that she was far less sought after for RP. It was actually a little shocking.

A cold truth of RP is that for a substantial chunk of the crowd, they struggle with real-world social anxiety or other situations which make establishing in-person friendships and relationships challenging for them. In the world of our imagination, however, such a person can be whomever they wish, and can do what they wish they might be able to do in real life, if only they were able. For many, that's finding acceptance and love. The pursuit of romantic RP (and even sexual RP) isn't inherently creepy, it's just a coping mechanism for a lot of people.

For others, it's just one element of a fully-realized story arc. Our literature and media are replete with tales in which, even if the overall story has nothing to do with the pursuit of romance, nevertheless include characters who fall in love and deal with relationship turmoil (even if they really ought to be waiting for all of that until they've finished impeding the imminent resurrection of Carnage Emperor Zoglorth). 

Your mileage may vary, but my experience has been that I get out of RP more-or-less what I put into it. That means if I want long-term character friendships and story arcs wherein the acquisition of love is but an aspect rather than a priority, I must be prepared to take it upon myself to provide that story arc, to seek out others who are of a like mind, and to keep at arm's length those who too readily seem willing to try and attach their character to mine in a manner which as her storyteller I'm not yet prepared to accept. I can't expect that others will change their behavior based on my own interests and expectations - we don't lack for roleplayers, so let them find their needs met with someone else, as I will.

I certainly don't mind if that's what people are interested in. And I'm no prude by any stretch. I love a cute and sexy character as much as anyone.  My only point is how upfront people just seems to be about ERP in our community as a whole. I think it has a lot to do with how MMOs and gaming have become much more accepted than when it was mostly a niche.

As Graeham stated, it seems like many RP opportunities turn into that more often than it used to. For many that's a bit... intimidating and awkward. I guess it used to seem more obvious if that's what you were getting into than it does now. If that makes sense.

There is obviously no easy solution, but I do wish we had a better means to advertise what we're looking for in game like you can in, say, WoW with its RP add-ons. That would likely lessen some of these things for everyone involved.

(05-23-2017, 09:27 PM)Averis Wrote: [ -> ]<le snip> As Graeham stated, it seems like many RP opportunities turn into that more often than it used to. For many that's a bit... intimidating and awkward. I guess it used to seem more obvious if that's what you were getting into than it does now. If that makes sense.

There is obviously no easy solution, but I do wish we had a better means to advertise what we're looking for in game like you can in, say, WoW with its RP add-ons. That would likely lessen some of these things for everyone involved.

It's just my opinion, but, I think part of the reason a lot of people sort of... "hide" what their real goal is, is due to the general stigma in Western society which surrounds the promiscuous. We're a society which sells products by means of sex appeal (e.g. look at the pretty girl laying on this car, maybe if you get this car yours will also get a pretty girl laying on it sometime), yet chastises our youth for contemplating sex and sexuality, and so a lot of people feel uncomfortable being direct.

That might be why we have a lot of players who craft complicated stories and plot concepts, and then all but abandon the pursuit of them once they find somebody who will write about butts. Were they comfortable in their own skin, and felt like they wouldn't be judged for it, they may very well just forego the complexity and fill their Search Info with "pls butts? thx" and we'd all know exactly what they want from RP. Plain, simple, honest. But we know they'd be judged for that, they might even be scorned for it, so they conceal it.

I just pray Balmung's populated enough and stays friendly enough not to become what Tera's RP community was... which is x100 more than anything people stereotype or see on Balmung.

(05-23-2017, 08:58 PM)Nero Wrote: [ -> ]For the sake of avoiding sweeping generalisations, the RP crowd is exactly the same now as it was "back then", ERP and cybering included. The only difference is that RP as a hobby is now bigger, and therefore finding whatever you're interested in through random chance is statistically less likely.

Bear in mind that where you're looking for RP is just as important as what kind of RP you're looking for. Join an FC, or read some people's IC posts and reach out to them OOCly if they interest you. It's easy to wallflower around RP hubs and shake one's walking stick at all those damn kids who seem to be having so much fun, but what you're looking for is really not as out of reach as it may seem to be.

Quoted for emphasis. This is pretty much what I would've said.

99% of the "ERP escapades" I've heard about have been just that... things I've heard about second, third, fourth-hand. Maybe every now and again I stumble across a steamy makeout session or something resembling lead up to foreplay or w/e. But for the most part, I don't really encounter that stuff in person because the places and people I go to for my RP are heavily aligned with my interests.

That's not to say anyone's claiming the OP or anyone else is deliberately seeking these things out. I'm well-aware that I could just have fantastic luck. But if you surround yourself with what and whom you are comfortable with and do want to see, anything else you stumble across should be kind of a non-issue. There's little to no reason to care, honestly.

I come at this from a different direction - as someone who doesn't partake in ERP, I'm happy that those who are seeking it are comfortable saying as much so I don't inadvertently lead them on.  I don't want to waste their time anymore than I'd want them to waste mine, you know?

Your mileage varies.

I think that maybe a part of it is that most people who like to roleplay for writing and aren't just looking for ERP tend to keep connections longer and are less prone to actively advertise that they're looking to meet new people to RP with. It could be that they're more likely to be comfortable and established in a group of friends already.

On the flip side, people who are just looking for ERP and romance may be presumed to burn through RP partners quickly, so they may be more prone to making new connections. Or maybe they feel the need to advertise themselves more so that people who want to RP with their character know what they're getting?

Though this is just speculation.

It may also be that an experience meeting an RPer that sticks negatively with you stands out more in your mind. I think I've personally encountered way more people who were interested to RP just to play a character, rather than ERP or look for someone to have a romance with.

But yeah, online RP communities have definitely always been like this.

I'd argue that most hobbies include people who are either actively trying to hook up or wouldn't be opposed to trying should the opportunity arise.

RP just adds the extra layer of make believe where you don't have to worry about physical attraction or stds. It's magic!

....but as others have said, when I first started over a decade ago, in muds and irc, people were tryna smash. And other people were trying to shame them into stopping. And still others were just on the sidelines shaking their head and bemoaning the state of the world.

Robe and wizard hat, anyone?

Roleplay is ultimately going to be what you want it to be - no one is going to force you into ERP or push boundaries you aren't comfortable with (luckily you can blacklist if they try). In that same vein, you have to be respectful about what others want to play since it's a hobby and people will generally play what they want to play. So you don't want to cultivate that sort of dynamic in your storyline - don't! However, I wouldn't place a sweeping generalization on a hobby that has always, and will always, have the opportunity to fall into ERP territory, much like a story line can fall into aspects of horror, painful emotional confict, romance, comedy, etc, etc, etc.. 

RP is what you make it depending on your preferences, chosen partners, and what themes/plot points you choose to implement, and it shouldn't matter what the community as a whole plays because it's an aspect that will always be there, and prominently. If you feel awkward, do not participate in it! However, a character being sexually active doesn't make them any less interesting or relevant - they're just small parts to a whole, nuances that shouldn't matter in the long run, and judging characters based on whether they're looking for a partner or not might lead you to missing out on great interactions.