(12-18-2016, 04:13 PM)RavieRaptor Wrote: See, unlike you, I actually have to approach people to let them know I exist. I've made all different types of characters over 20+, just trying to get people to notice me and accept me into their rp groups. I probably have spent over 100 dollars on fantasias and name changes alone. It's always different reasons: If you play a miqo'te you're a slut, if you play an Au Ra you're weeb trash. If you play an lalafell, you're not taken seriously. If you play a midlander, you're boring and unoriginal. These are the many conflicts I have that I've heard from others when I make my characters. I can't find that niche.

(12-18-2016, 05:22 PM)RavieRaptor Wrote: Yeah, that seems to sum it up. I'm always scared people won't like me. I've had past issues where I hung out with one person and lost a whole group of friends and got kicked from my FC cause of it. I didn't realize till later how right the group was about said person. Ever since I haven't really found a character niche to make for RP, as mentioned in my previous comment.

(12-18-2016, 04:13 PM)RavieRaptor Wrote: See, unlike you, I actually have to approach people to let them know I exist.

(12-18-2016, 07:25 PM)Faye Wrote:

(12-18-2016, 07:00 PM)T Wrote: That's top of the line BS. If you go to a public event, then proceed to use a private channel at it, why are you even there? Yes, the scroll does get real, but that's a piss poor excuse to completely ignore /s and /em when you knowingly went to a public event. Hell, it's a piss poor excuse when you watch someone walk up to you and target you.

Because people want to RP the theme/atmosphere of the event and want to take part in it, want to support the event/hosts/community, and typically still want to keep the potential for new/unexpected interactions open, but also want to ensure they don't miss posts from the people they're RPing with and don't want to cause themselves any extra stress or pain.

(12-18-2016, 08:01 PM)Aya Wrote:

(12-18-2016, 05:01 PM)Roen Wrote: And as others have said, don't lose heart and just play what you want. Don't keep changing characters to see what sticks or who might be more popular. RP should be fun because you are playing who you want to play.

I'm still reading through this thread in more detail, and finding gems like this one. 

I know that sometimes the challenges of meeting people can feel and seem insurmountable.  Failure and the feeling of rejection (warranted or not) are terrible things, and are absolutely no fun to deal with.

Its also not the same for everyone. Some people face greater challenges than others (though I would urge no one to take the struggles faced by anyone else, even those they may imagine as being effortlessly popular, for granted).  And the community, in whatever form it takes for that individual, can feel vastly more antagonistic than helpful which is truly unfortunate. 

But there's some great advice in here (like Roen's), and so many well-intentioned people (my suspicion is that everyone posting is well-intentioned, even if the content of their posts isn't what everyone wants to see).

(12-18-2016, 07:25 PM)Faye Wrote: Because people want to RP the theme/atmosphere of the event and want to take part in it, want to support the event/hosts/community, and typically still want to keep the potential for new/unexpected interactions open, but also want to ensure they don't miss posts from the people they're RPing with and don't want to cause themselves any extra stress or pain. It's not a piss poor excuse, but a valid option for people who find large events difficult to stomach, which you will find there are a lot of in this community. Given that some of these people have very real problems (anxiety, reading comprehension problems, poor eyesight, migraines, difficulty focusing, overstimulation, etc.) often linked to medical issues and disabilities, I think it's pretty rude and downright offensive to demonize them when all they're trying to do is make the RP easier for themselves and/or their friends and just have a good time.

Hell, a lot of these people go to events, meet someone new, and then form a party with that new connection so they can RP without any strain. I won't say that no one in the history of XIV has gone to an event with a pre-established group and ignored everyone else there, but these people are a vast minority and not typical. Folks are not ignoring /say and /em out of spite and may not even be meaning to ignore them at all. They could be trying their best to read /say and /em, but tab to a different chat window to reply to their current RP and miss a post from a stranger. They could just not see the character walk up to them, if they are busy reading/typing in chat, or if their camera is not angled just the right way, if they went afk for a moment, or if the person doesn't actually target their character or only stands next to them for five seconds.

(12-18-2016, 07:26 PM)Kilieit Wrote: Please read the reasoning people have stated for why they "ignore" people (this word suggests intent, which is a false assumption) at big events. It was stated quite clearly and repeatedly, by multiple posters.

Why do people go to big events instead of staying home, and then RP privately? Simple: change of scenery. It provides a backdrop for something a little different. And as Faye described, it allows the culmination of OOC connections into IC ones (different from cold-call walkups!) that won't occur if you just stay in your FC room and pretend you're at a gala.

The "just get out there" advice was qualified every single time I read it in this thread with to make OOC connections, to attend smaller events, and so forth.

You're jumping to conclusions in your anger. Please re-read the thread and try to understand where we're coming from.

At the end of the day, NO ONE SPECIFIC PERSON IS OBLIGATED TO ROLEPLAY WITH ANY OTHER ONE SPECIFIC PERSON. There are people who aren't going to be wanting to meet new folks on any given day. That is their prerogative. Like I said in my post explaining that thoughts like this are maladaptive, I gave a few examples of why someone could be closed off from meeting new people - sick, tired, distracted, or anxious in their own right. Yes, even if they've shown up to a big event.

I don't think it's fair to call people stupid, say they aren't allowed to go into a certain area to RP (remember the Gala was an open-world event, not located in an FC premises...), or suggest they're being malicious because they aren't up for talking to you on that day or in that place.

(12-18-2016, 07:29 PM)Aya Wrote: If you cannot understand why people would move to a private chat channel during an event with immense chatscroll, I don't really know what to say.  I wasn't at the event, but I have attended similar ones in the past, and am a veteran of some very high-chat-scroll evenings at the Quick Sand.  I do not join private chats at these events (unless they are explicitly preferred by the organizers to keep public chat down, which I have seen before), but I completely understand why people would: the chat scroll is the sort of thing that cannot only detract from your enjoyment, but can be downright headache causing.  In the end people attend public events for the same reason that they attend any event: to have fun.  Whether or not that means being terribly outgoing, social, and friendly really depends on the individual and the circumstances. 

If people want to slip into private chat in order to be able to take a break from trying to scan the scroll, by all means they should not feel bad about doing so.  Its so easy to miss things during these events (not to mention how easy it is for characters to actually fail to load, or become unloaded even when targeted).  You simply cannot rely on either public chat, or visual recognition to actually get someone's attention.  Whispers are your friend.

I try to go out of my way to meet people I haven't before, and to try to involve those who seem to be off on their own.  That's just part of what I try to do as a role-player, and as a member of the community.  But, not everyone is the same way. Some are shy, some are tired, some aren't feeling very social.  They're not under any obligation, and if you approach them with a presumption that they owe you a connection, you're both being unfair and setting yourself up for disappointment.

The only real reliable ways to meet people and make friends is to both energetically put yourself out there, and to be persistent. This isn't fair.  Life isn't fair. Its hard, and its hard to make friends in an on-line community just as it is in reality.  Some people have an easier time with it, some have a harder time with it, and that unfortunately is the way it is.  We can screw up our eyes, and ball up our fists, and cry to the high-heavens about the unfairness of it all, but it will not change.

(12-18-2016, 07:39 PM)Virella Wrote:

(12-18-2016, 07:00 PM)T Wrote: <Snip>

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay. If you can't find it, it's your problem, no one else's. Maybe just, you know, step up instead of whine.

(12-18-2016, 08:59 PM)Terrin Wrote:

(12-18-2016, 07:39 PM)Virella Wrote:

(12-18-2016, 07:00 PM)T Wrote: <Snip>

If you can't find RP? That's a YOU problem. Not another person's problem. Stop being so entitled that people owe you roleplay. If you can't find it, it's your problem, no one else's. Maybe just, you know, step up instead of whine.

You know, I don't recall stating that anyone should be entitled to RP. Instead, I've been saying that you're a giant turd if you go to a public event to not publicly RP, then proceed to tell people that's their fault they can't find RP.

I understand that Ala Mhigans are probably incapable of reading in the game, but you can drop character in the real world, you know.

(12-18-2016, 08:39 PM)Max Wrote: This is purely anecdotal, but I've never ever had trouble finding roleplay -- the community is just massive on Balmung. A lot of people are shy so are hesitant to engage others, but are ecstatic whenever you give their character the time of day.

Join a FC, go to the Quicksand, go to (smaller) events. Actually have a character that goes up to people and engages conversation.

What especially annoys me is when a shy person roleplays an equally shy character and ends up feeling left out because they're overly reliant upon others approaching them instead of the other way around. Not saying you're like this OP, it's just behavior I've noted from people with similar complaints.

And of course it isn't just shy characters who have this problem. Some people play uninteresting characters. Or maybe their writing is horrendous. Or maybe their gimmick ruins your immersion. Or maybe something something something.

But that's the great thing about Balmung. IMHO our roleplay population is very diverse, and there's at least someone for everyone. So I simply find it hard to believe that it's THAT difficult for someone to find roleplay unless they're inhibiting themselves in some shape or form (knowingly or unknowingly).

I won't be as... uh, harsh as the Angry Ala Mhigan Grandma, but I share her assessment that sometimes we must look at ourselves to discover the problem.

(12-18-2016, 08:53 PM)Terrin Wrote: Saying something multiple times doesn't magically make it okay. Simply saying "I didn't mean to ignore /s and /em" doesn't magically mean they didn't do it.

If they're looking for a change of scenery or special backdrop, there are hundreds of places to go. If someone goes to a public event, they should be prepared to publicly RP with others, or accept that what they are doing is pretty messed up for those who came to a public event to try to make connections, and not try to defend their actions.

You are correct, no one is obligated to RP with anyone. That doesn't make them immune to criticism though, and if they're not in the mood to RP with strangers, they shouldn't go to an event where there will be a lot of strangers then try to defend their actions when someone finally says "wtf?".

I think its extremely unfair that people tell new people that they should be expected to be ignored at large public events, then say it was their own fault because they don't know anyone. Why do they need to set something up OOCly, or stick to smaller events to try to get RP? I never said that groups shouldn't be allowed at public events, but question why they are there if they're just gonna privately RP anyway.

(12-18-2016, 08:59 PM)Terrin Wrote: You know, I don't recall stating that anyone should be entitled to RP. Instead, I've been saying that you're a giant turd if you go to a public event to not publicly RP, then proceed to tell people that's their fault they can't find RP.