Suicide is always unfortunate... my best to your friend and guildmates.
Going to link these...
Adventures in Depression
Depression, Part Two
Yes, these are written/drawn by the same woman who gave us the "Do all the things!" meme, but it's still a fairly accurate retelling of what depression and those moments of contemplating suicide is like for a lot of people. If you know someone who's depressed, read it because it gives some good insights into a depressed person's mind. Maybe have the person who's depressed read it too, cause the ending sentiments can be pretty strong to someone who's struggling to find hope in all the "hopeless bullshit".
Something else I'd like to bring up is... a misconception that a lot of us are told, even from some doctors/psychiatrists, that suicide is the result of approaching or hitting the absolute bottom of depression. But for a lot of people (I've heard that it could possibly be up to half the cases), it's not.
Absolute bottom for many with depression is the phase where nothing matters. On the trip down, they still have a bit of hope and coping skills buried somewhere in them, letting them consider that things will maybe still get better and maybe they're not as badly depressed as they think they are, but their time at the bottom leeches that out completely. It leeches all feeling out, a lot of the time. Down there, things like living and dying doesn't matter. Everything is the same, and they don't care anymore to put the -effort- into considering (nevermind attempting) suicide.Â
So, when they finally start climbing back up, they eventually hit a point where they feel and care again, and they're suddenly EXCRUCIATINGLY aware of how miserable they had been, and now the rest of the climb just looks utterly hopeless*. They lack the coping skills they once had, so everything is just so overwhelming and they're suddenly very painfully aware that they've lost control of their lives.
Is it selfish that they contemplate, attempt, or commit suicide at this point? Maybe some are, but I think for most of them it's not selfish. They're scared, terrified, and in pain. A lot of them probably aren't reading the situations around them properly. Their fight or flight reflex has kicked in, and they're not processing things rationally. They honestly believe that fighting for their life, for control of their life, is utterly futile and impossible (and perhaps, like in some cases of domestic abuse and severe/prolonged bullying, attempts to fight back only caused more fear, terror, and pain). So they choose flight. They choose to run from life... and perhaps for some of them, it's a case where their death is the one thing they felt they could still control.
And it's unfortunate. Because that fear and pain was a sign that they were getting better. Depression is -sneaky- like that. When they start to get used to the numbness and disinterest, it's not uncommon for them to convince themselves that it's better this way. They're not crying and sad all the time. Sure, people look at them a bit weird sometimes, but at least it's not with pity. Maybe it's a sign that they're getting better, and this numbness is just reasonable exhaustion. So when they DO start to get better, not only are they unprepared for the upwards swing and the sudden realization of how depressed they really were, they misinterpret it.
The hotlines are wonderful, but sometimes you do need to call a few times before you get someone who you really feels "understands you" and can really help. Some people benefit from the "lets find something worth living for" angle. Some people need a "I'm here. If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. Or we can just talk together for a bit about whatever until you don't feel so alone" approach. I worked with a lady who volunteered for a hotline, and she had a couple 'regular callers', and we could always tell when one of them didn't call because the next day she'd be twitchy and anxious. So for anyone who is or is trying to urge someone to call a hotline... the people on the other end DO care. Working the hotlines is not something they entrust to people who are assigned to community service or needs a credit for a class, the person on the other end is someone who genuinely cares.
Also, one last thing... while the sentiment of "drag them out of the darkness" is well-meaning, I would like to suggest that it's not always the best idea. For people who have already lost control of their lives, "dragging" them is very likely to reinforce that feeling, and they might slide back as soon as you let go of them. As someone who's been there, I have to say that those who "came to sit with me in the darkness and waited until I felt comfortable enough to ask them to turn on the flashlight they brought" got through to me a million times better than those who "tried to drag me out into the bright light".
*Ever wonder why anti-depressant medications warn/list suicidal thoughts as a side-effect? This is why.
Going to link these...
Adventures in Depression
Depression, Part Two
Yes, these are written/drawn by the same woman who gave us the "Do all the things!" meme, but it's still a fairly accurate retelling of what depression and those moments of contemplating suicide is like for a lot of people. If you know someone who's depressed, read it because it gives some good insights into a depressed person's mind. Maybe have the person who's depressed read it too, cause the ending sentiments can be pretty strong to someone who's struggling to find hope in all the "hopeless bullshit".
Something else I'd like to bring up is... a misconception that a lot of us are told, even from some doctors/psychiatrists, that suicide is the result of approaching or hitting the absolute bottom of depression. But for a lot of people (I've heard that it could possibly be up to half the cases), it's not.
Absolute bottom for many with depression is the phase where nothing matters. On the trip down, they still have a bit of hope and coping skills buried somewhere in them, letting them consider that things will maybe still get better and maybe they're not as badly depressed as they think they are, but their time at the bottom leeches that out completely. It leeches all feeling out, a lot of the time. Down there, things like living and dying doesn't matter. Everything is the same, and they don't care anymore to put the -effort- into considering (nevermind attempting) suicide.Â
So, when they finally start climbing back up, they eventually hit a point where they feel and care again, and they're suddenly EXCRUCIATINGLY aware of how miserable they had been, and now the rest of the climb just looks utterly hopeless*. They lack the coping skills they once had, so everything is just so overwhelming and they're suddenly very painfully aware that they've lost control of their lives.
Is it selfish that they contemplate, attempt, or commit suicide at this point? Maybe some are, but I think for most of them it's not selfish. They're scared, terrified, and in pain. A lot of them probably aren't reading the situations around them properly. Their fight or flight reflex has kicked in, and they're not processing things rationally. They honestly believe that fighting for their life, for control of their life, is utterly futile and impossible (and perhaps, like in some cases of domestic abuse and severe/prolonged bullying, attempts to fight back only caused more fear, terror, and pain). So they choose flight. They choose to run from life... and perhaps for some of them, it's a case where their death is the one thing they felt they could still control.
And it's unfortunate. Because that fear and pain was a sign that they were getting better. Depression is -sneaky- like that. When they start to get used to the numbness and disinterest, it's not uncommon for them to convince themselves that it's better this way. They're not crying and sad all the time. Sure, people look at them a bit weird sometimes, but at least it's not with pity. Maybe it's a sign that they're getting better, and this numbness is just reasonable exhaustion. So when they DO start to get better, not only are they unprepared for the upwards swing and the sudden realization of how depressed they really were, they misinterpret it.
The hotlines are wonderful, but sometimes you do need to call a few times before you get someone who you really feels "understands you" and can really help. Some people benefit from the "lets find something worth living for" angle. Some people need a "I'm here. If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. Or we can just talk together for a bit about whatever until you don't feel so alone" approach. I worked with a lady who volunteered for a hotline, and she had a couple 'regular callers', and we could always tell when one of them didn't call because the next day she'd be twitchy and anxious. So for anyone who is or is trying to urge someone to call a hotline... the people on the other end DO care. Working the hotlines is not something they entrust to people who are assigned to community service or needs a credit for a class, the person on the other end is someone who genuinely cares.
Also, one last thing... while the sentiment of "drag them out of the darkness" is well-meaning, I would like to suggest that it's not always the best idea. For people who have already lost control of their lives, "dragging" them is very likely to reinforce that feeling, and they might slide back as soon as you let go of them. As someone who's been there, I have to say that those who "came to sit with me in the darkness and waited until I felt comfortable enough to ask them to turn on the flashlight they brought" got through to me a million times better than those who "tried to drag me out into the bright light".
*Ever wonder why anti-depressant medications warn/list suicidal thoughts as a side-effect? This is why.
![[Image: 8wQ4Jkf.png?2]](http://i.imgur.com/8wQ4Jkf.png?2)
![[Image: orVQTe3.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/orVQTe3.png?1)
