RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes

Colyer · **08-10-2013, 11:57 PM**

I'm including both in this post since I don't want to clutter up the forum with two thread so I hope that is ok.

I would like people's opinion on three hairstyles for my Lalafell. At the moment his basic premise is a slightly insufferable academic type. An egghead who can be apologetically blunt and clueless when dealing with other people.

[Image: Hair_zps0dd46e98.jpg]

Show Content

Tomas Colyer background
[Image: Tomas3_zpsff2e0418.jpg]

Â Tomas seemed to of had a typical average childhood, because well, it was. He was the second of two sons born to Edmynd and Teressa Colyer. Growing up he spent his days playing with the neighborhood boys in between his schooling, until after his tenth birthday when he started to help him mother tend to the family store. He eventually moved to the back workroom to help his father and to start his apprenticeship in carpentry after his older brother, Pryce decided to join up as a deckhand on a local ship, much to his father displeasure.

Â Tomas' life remained pretty standard until getting news from his brother, whom got tired of being on a ship and traveled to Ul'Dhan and got a job as a guardsman. there it seemed he meet and fell in love with Lilwen, a local midlander. After returning from Ul'Dhan for the wedding, Tomas' father became sick, and disregarding his illness he continued to work to the point of exhaustion, and shortly before Tomas' 18th birthday his father succumbed to the illness and passed on.Â

Â The next two years were rough for Tomas and his mother. Because his training was so incomplete, Tomas was unable to pick after his father, though luckily there was enough back stock to keep the store open for a few more months. Unable toÂ
afford hiring a full time carpenter to produce more stock, Tomas 's mother decided to sell off their store and retire. Tomas for his part decided to get a job in the ship yards, but before that happened a letter arrived baring good news, Lilwen was pregnant.Â

Â Arriving at Ul'Dhan Tomas and his mother was meet by Lilwen with heart breaking news. There was a skirmish outside the city with a group of guards, Pryce was among them and did not make it back. Due to the situation, Teressa decided to stay and in Ul'Dhan to help Lilwen. Tomas no longer having to worry about helping to support his mother, decided to travel to Girdanian and join the Carpentry Guild.Â

Â While he did show promise, he was not initially accepted into the guild, but was given a job with them.He spent the next few years he worked for the guild, learning what he could as he waited till he reach the point where he would be accepted into the guild as an apprentice.Â

Â Tomas was out in the Twelvewoods returning from making a deliver when Bahamut made his appearance. A small piece of the now shattered moon landed nearby, the force of the impact tossed the wooden wagon Tomas was on, onto it's side throwing Tomas off where he landed hard onto the ground. Laying face down and completely winded, Tomas could only lay there listening to the sound of screaming as pieces of Dalamund streaked across the sky. Eventually he manage to turn himself onto his back, there he laid warm blood on his face and pain radiating throughout his body as he listen to the crackle of the nearby fire and the mournful cry of one of the Chocobo's that was bulling the wagon. There he closed his eyes and waited to die.

Â Tomas awoke within the city walls, being tended by some local conjurers. And during his recuperation Tomas decided to join the Lancers guild and to learn how to fight if only for self protection.Â
Â

Teardrop · **08-11-2013, 08:46 AM**

(08-10-2013, 11:57 PM)Colyer Wrote: I'm including both in this post since I don't want to clutter up the forum with two thread so I hope that is ok.

I would like people's opinion on three hairstyles for my Lalafell. At the moment his basic premise is a slightly insufferable academic type. An egghead who can be apologetically blunt and clueless when dealing with other people.

That type of personality is best displayed by choice "B", in my opinion Big Grin

FreelanceWizard · **08-11-2013, 11:11 AM**

For the lalafell, option B all the way. Smile

The facial expression really gets that across.

For the character background, it looks good. I'd consider a couple of things, though.

First, it seems to revolve a lot around Tomas's family. We don't get to see a lot of his perspective on things -- what does he want to do? Did it bother him being put in the position of taking over the family business? Why didn't he start a family -- did his mother oppose it, or was the work too occupying for him? I think the backstory would be more powerful if we could see more of what was going on in Tomas's head.

Second, from a lore perspective, one thing I'd consider is that the Black Shroud was exceedingly dangerous to outsiders before the Calamity; it was extremely easy to anger the elementals as non-Gridanian, resulting in the accumulation of "woodsin" and ultimately the forest itself attempting to kill you. Since the Calamity, however, this effect seems to have been largely written out of the plot (the why is still undisclosed). So, you might want to consider how your character got around that. The easiest approach is that you were traveling to Gridania when Bahamut attacked, which neatly solves the issue and would put you in Gridania for 5 years prior to the start of the game. However, there's other alternatives: Tomas's family knew a Gridanian of the guild, and they were able to guide you into the city; Tomas has an affinity for the elementals (perhaps a talent for Conjury?); Tomas sneaked into Gridania with some less-than-legal assistance that knew a secret path or other means through the Shroud; Tomas fell victim to the forest, but a kindly Gridanian took pity on him and saved him; as above, but moogles saved him (mirroring the 1.0 Gridania intro sequence); etc. I'm not saying you have to change your background, just that you need to have an explanation for why the usual "outsiders get killed by the forest due to woodwrath" element of Gridania pre-Calamity didn't apply in his case.

LeCard · **08-11-2013, 11:45 AM**

(08-10-2013, 11:57 PM)Colyer Wrote:

Show Content

Tomas Colyer background

Â Tomas seemed to of had a typical average childhood, because well, it was. He was the second of two sons born to Edmynd and Teressa Colyer. Growing up he spent his days playing with the neighborhood boys in between his schooling, until after his tenth birthday when he started to help hims mother tend to the family store. He eventually moved to the back workroom to help his father and to start his apprenticeship in carpentry after his older brother, Pryce decided to join up as a deckhand on a local ship, much to his father displeasure.

Â Tomas' life remained pretty standard until getting news from his brother, whom got tired of being on a ship and traveled to Ul'Dhan and got a job as a guardsman. there it seemed he meet and fell in love with Lilwen, a local midlander. After returning from Ul'Dhan for the wedding, Tomas' father became sick, and disregarding his illness he continued to work to the point of exhaustion, and shortly before Tomas' 18th birthday his father succumbed to the illness and passed on.Â

Â The next two years were rough for Tomas and his mother. Because his training was so incomplete, Tomas was unable to pick up after his father, though luckily there was enough back stock to keep the store open for a few more months.

Unable to afford hiring a full time carpenter to produce more stock, Tomas 's mother decided to sell off their store and retire. Tomas for his part decided to get a job in the ship yards, but before that happened a letter arrived bearing good news, Lilwen was pregnant.Â

Â Arriving at Ul'Dhan Tomas and his mother was meet were met by Lilwen with heart breaking news. There was a skirmish outside the city with a group of guards, Pryce was among them and did not make it back. Due to the situation, Teressa decided to stay and in Ul'Dhan to help Lilwen. Tomas no longer having to worry about helping to support his mother, decided to travel to Girdanian and join the Carpentry Guild.Â

Â While he did show promise, he was not initially accepted into the guild, but was given a job with them.He spent the next few years he worked working for the guild, learning what he could as he waited till he reached the point where he would be accepted into the guild as an apprentice.Â

Â Tomas was out in the Twelvewoods returning from making a deliver when Bahamut made his appearance. A small piece of the now shattered moon landed nearby, the force of the impact tossed the wooden wagon Tomas was on, onto it's side throwing Tomas off where he landed hard onto the ground. Laying face down and completely winded, Tomas could only lay there listening to the sound of screaming as pieces of Dalamund streaked across the sky. Eventually he manage to turn himself onto his back, there he laid warm blood on his face and pain radiating throughout his body as he listen to the crackle of the nearby fire and the mournful cry of one of the Chocobo's that was bpulling the wagon. There he closed his eyes and waited to die.

Â Tomas awoke within the city walls, being tended by some local conjurers. And during his recuperation Tomas decided to join the Lancers guild and to learn how to fight if only for self protection.Â
Â

I have done some minor copy editing on your background. items marked as such have been edited within the post for simple grammatical errors. However, there were a few spots that I think could use better wording/explanation, those have been marked in a unique color to indicated that they will be discussed below.

Tomas seemed to of had a typical, average childhood, because well, it was
Tomas seemed to of had a typically, average childhood, because well, it was
Tomas seemed to of had an average childhood, because well, it was

After returning from Ul'Dah for the wedding, Tomas' father became sick. Disregarding his illness he continued to work to the point of exhaustion, and shortly before Tomas' 18th birthday his father succumbed to the illness and passed on.

Tomas no longer having to worry about helping to support his mother
Please explain why he no longer has to worry about his mother. She is staying with(from what I gather a recently widowed soon to be mother) and that isn't generally thought of as someone with a stable income. Did she receive some sort of pension or widows fund type of deal?

Still reading? well I went with option C for the Lala, the hair just says egghead to me.

Ildur · **08-11-2013, 01:27 PM**

I'm going to leave a small acknowledgment that my opinions on the backstory mirrors what FreelanceWizard said. Yay for others thinking and writting for me!

B obviously looks better, but that has little to do with the hair and all to do with the emote. I think you should have provided screens of the three alternatives during the same animation. Otherwise, option B ends up despicting a much more interesting personality than the other two.
With that said, I'll go with hair A.

Colyer · **08-12-2013, 09:56 AM**

I changed out the photo as some suggested,

And thanks for in feedback, will change up certain aspects of my Hyur's backstory and expand on other parts as suggested.

FreelanceWizard · **08-12-2013, 11:21 AM**

With them in the same pose, I like C, but A is also good.

Teardrop · **08-12-2013, 11:37 AM**

My choice has changed to C as well, now that all things are even Smile

Falkner · **08-12-2013, 12:35 PM**

I vote for the C!
When you put some round glasses on him, it'll be awww, what a cute academic egghead~

Colyer · **08-13-2013, 01:26 PM**

Ok, here's an updated back story. Changed up some stuff, not that happy with the end of it, but putting it up as I mulled over it.

As apologize for any words butting up against each other - for some reason pasting it in does that to random words. Tried to get them all but may of missed a few.

Show Content

Also quick question is there a town or village in the Mor Dhona region? Been trying to find info but the wikis are pretty sparse on details of what is in the region.

Poll: Which hairstyle do you think I should go with? You do not have permission to vote in this poll.
A	21.05%	4	21.05%
B	31.58%	6	31.58%
C	47.37%	9	47.37%
Total		19 vote(s)	100%

Character opinion/Feedback

RPC has moved! These pages have been kept for historical purposes