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Flickering Ember · **12-07-2014, 01:04 PM**

I would like to note that there is a difference between an introvert and someone who is shy. A shy individual is also an introvert but an introvert is not necessarily shy. Meaning, an introverted character does not need to break out of her shell as character development. It might be about one half of all people in real life are introverted.Â

Being introverted doesn't mean that you can't have conversations with strangers. It just means that you're not as high energy around other people and social situations may not be as easy for you compared to someone who is extroverted. Remember, there are varying levels of introverts.

For example, I have played and met a number of characters who were reserved. In groups they may have taken a backseat in conversation. However, they would still contribute. Additionally, I reserved individual could likely carry a conversation one on one.

I would ask yourself:" what kind of introvert is my character?" Is she shy? Is she aloof? Is she reserved? Is she antisocial? Is she quiet? Does she keep to herself but opens up when approached by others? Is she cold or taciturn? Again, just because you're an introvert does not mean you have an actual problem talking to people.

I feel a part of the problem too is that a lot of roleplay is centered around simply conversing. Look at any fantasy or adventure story and you see that people are there to get a quest done, not talk about in what terrible way their friends broke up. It is just the sad fact that social role play is easier to put together. If your character is really the sort who can't or won't talk to others then I recommend putting together a small-scale story. That way your role play can be focused on events and missions instead of conversation. The best way you could do this is to talk to others in your free company or to make some character connections.

Blue · **12-07-2014, 03:24 PM**

(12-07-2014, 09:07 AM)Ritual Wrote: I also want to point out introverts aren't necessarily people that don't talk, I'm introverted and if you get me hooked on a subject I can talk for hours, it's just we don't like small talk too much, the "formalities". As an ISTP, I'm very non-communicative, unless you require my knowledge, I just HAVE to tell you something or again we get on an interesting subject, I speak more through actions than words and I choose my words very carefully. Introversion and Extroversion have nothing to do with if you're social or not, the man who came up with them himself said this, Carl C. Jung, they're just how your first function is orientated.

That line really stroke a chord to me because it's exactly how I feel.

However, as much as I want to thank everyone for the kind advice, I feel I was a little misunderstood. I am aware that people will not RP with me if I end conversations or don't talk back in general, but that is certainly not my case. I always try to find ways to open topics with strangers and involve them in my own plots (Aya should remember this in particular from the one RP we had together during one of my rare visits at the Quicksand). What I'd like to know is how to avoid occurrences such as the cases I have displayed, in which people either won't even give me a chance upon learning that I am introvert (1) or discovering that I am not an e-dater RPer (2).

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that if people don't get back to me to RP it's just something I have to accept. Not every fish will bait and my lure is very small. But when people walk off from me for purely OOC reasons, I do not know.. is that something I must come to accept as common behavior as well? I am introvert in real life too but this kind of stuff has never happened to me, because again, in-game it seems to be much easier to walk off from someone. Or this is how I feel.

Ritual · **12-07-2014, 03:49 PM**

(12-07-2014, 03:24 PM)Blue Wrote:
(12-07-2014, 09:07 AM)Ritual Wrote: I also want to point out introverts aren't necessarily people that don't talk, I'm introverted and if you get me hooked on a subject I can talk for hours, it's just we don't like small talk too much, the "formalities". As an ISTP, I'm very non-communicative, unless you require my knowledge, I just HAVE to tell you something or again we get on an interesting subject, I speak more through actions than words and I choose my words very carefully. Introversion and Extroversion have nothing to do with if you're social or not, the man who came up with them himself said this, Carl C. Jung, they're just how your first function is orientated.

That line really stroke a chord to me because it's exactly how I feel.

However, as much as I want to thank everyone for the kind advice, I feel I was a little misunderstood. I am aware that people will not RP with me if I end conversations or don't talk back in general, but that is certainly not my case. I always try to find ways to open topics with strangers and involve them in my own plots (Aya should remember this in particular from the one RP we had together during one of my rare visits at the Quicksand). What I'd like to know is how to avoid occurrences such as the cases I have displayed, in which people either won't even give me a chance upon learning that I am introvert (1) or discovering that I am not an e-dater RPer (2).

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that if people don't get back to me to RP it's just something I have to accept. Not every fish will bait and my lure is very small. But when people walk off from me for purely OOC reasons, I do not know.. is that something I must come to accept as common behavior as well? I am introvert in real life too but this kind of stuff has never happened to me, because again, in-game it seems to be much easier to walk off from someone. Or this is how I feel.

There's only a few options, the introversion problem is something that'll last, people have an idea of what an introvert is and if they don't want to RP with that kind of person then it's just something you'll have to get used too. One option is not telling people you or you're characters are introverts, let them pick it up in subtle ques, things you say to hint at it will add a layer of mystery in a way which can be compelling for some people.

The problem about not being a romance RPer is that, it's just a different style of RP to your own, nothing to be done about it tbh, if they leave they leave because they want a different RP experiance to you, that is just something that can't and won't change.

My friends are all introverts and I've gone months before seeing them again, in-game is different ofc, I have had issues with people not liking that I barely speak or see them and honestly, it's who I am it's who you are, it's not a bad thing to be an introvert. I can understand the other persons perspective but they must understand mine too, if people don't like you for who you are even after you explain your behaviour then you guys just aren't compatible.

Flickering Ember · **12-07-2014, 03:58 PM**

As long as people aren't constantly walking away from you, I think it is pretty normal to have negative or rude experiences like the examples you listed. I had someone ask about my character once so I told her what she was like and we met up for roleplay. Ember isn't the best at speech so the way she talks can be strange. It stung a little when the roleplay ended right after she started talking.

I have also had people end RP with me abruptly when I made it clear I wasn't looking for erp or romance. You aren't the only one who has gone through these. A lot of us go through it. Just keep trying and you'll find Rpers who meet your interests.

Ritual · **12-07-2014, 04:03 PM**

(12-07-2014, 03:58 PM)Flickering Ember Wrote: Â Just keep trying and you'll find Rpers who meet your interests.

This is good advice.

Kyatai · **12-07-2014, 05:45 PM**

(12-06-2014, 06:13 PM)Dasair Wrote: I have a rather introverted character myself, and while he has reasons to be social in his 'purpose' for being about in the first place (he'll awkwardly approach people who catch his interest, or seem to have interest in him), I've still gotten some.. off-reactions from people too, all OOCly. Â My character explicitly does not care for loud places, crowds, nor big cities (as per most Duskwights, I'd imagine), and I often tell people about this before I start RPing with them. Â Not only is it considered a 'general lore thing', but it's also a notable part of my character's personality. Â Because of this, and my own preferences in RP, he rarely hangs around in bars (which is where a lot of RP happens, it seems). Â And even if I make it clear that he wouldn't stick around in such a place long if he had a choice, I've still gotten.. weird OOC reactions to this, about how I should 'change my character to be more suitable for RP', even though bar and city RP is definitely not the end-all-be-all of interaction, nevermind all that is possible for RP in this game. Â

That aside though, I have had some pretty nice RPs outside the city walls (or even in them, on rare occasion) with different people, so there's that.

But I know what you mean, when you say some people have some strange thing against characters that don't necessarily want to hang out in the most social of places, or are on the more introverted side.

All that said, I'd be quite willing to play with one of yours to see if our characters might get along if you're having a hard time finding anyone to play with. Â :> Â My nerd does much better with one-on-one conversations than group gatherings anyhow, and I know how it can be difficult to find people to RP with at times, especially given a tendency to shy away from crowded places.

Basically this.
Chiane is a Dusky. She detests loud places and only, ONLY goes there to handle business. Extended time there will make her rub her ears and become very blunt and irritable (even to the point of suddenly excusing herself to leave). She also gets irritable with 'small talk.'
She is very private and reserved/wary of basically any that are not Duskwight as well- but that does not mean she will refuse to speak or make life uncomfortable for folks. It just means she prefers the 'watch and wait' vs the 'jump right in and chatter on.' She does not trust those not of 'Blood'.... UNTIL she gets to know them better. Her fiance was a Hyur. Nuff said.
Miqo'te, in general, make her VERY wary, as nearly every Miqo that she's met has either tried to hug her, get in her personal space, or seduce her. IC-ly... it is a funny thing b/c she is blunt about it ("Since you have not tried to either hug or seduce me, we should get along fine.")
Yes, her closest friends are Duskwight. Jaques (her adopted brother) and Yssen. She is carries a Linkpearl to the Duskwight Sanctuary to help other Duskies get 'support' (IC) if needed.
Yes, she has risked her life to save a Miqo (who DOES like to hug on her, which annoys her, but she is also a friend), yes she goes out and fights/adventures, etc. She is reckless, self-less, and loyal to those she considers friends or family.
Yes, I prefer 'active' RP- in the field, in a home, in intimate settings (not necessarily romantic, just not a mass of bodies where I have to chase down a scrolling chat page), in small groups, and do not jump right into the romance thing. I'm here to RP... there is SO MUCH MORE to RP than romance/ERP/whatever. Yes, it can give it spice, but it is not the End All, Be All and Only Reason To RP.
She is also a natural leader and if things need to be said, or done, she will speak up (I will not confirm that there is some DW arrogance in play... *coughs*).

I illustrate all that to say: Yes. She is an Introvert.

But on her terms. She is far from a 'shrinking flower' that folks would have issues RPing with or fine 'boring' I think (I hope?). Still... I am not sought out to RP. I have my small group, but am open to expanding my RP circle. It just has to 'make sense' for my character. I can't torque her to be something she is not. I have tried that in the past, to force a character to be something they are not... and it ended miserably for me. As another poster said, I am who I am, she is who she is and though there could be growth her and there (growth is good... Dynamic characters are good), it is perfectly OK to be Introverted (just not a complete antisocial, if you hope to get RP).
Armi's suggestion is a very good one.
Ritual also has great insights. (I'm a warring INFJ/INFP myself.)

NOW!
As far as the situations you mentioned, Blue... I've not had #1 happen, but I have had #2. "Hi.. you're the hottest looking Duskwight I've seen. Wanna hook up?"
I don't know how to avoid this, or what advice to give. It is oddly complimentary (I'm glad someone likes how I made Chi) and simultaneously annoying (do you think that all RPers do is ERP all day? What about a story?). The best I can suggest is what you did: just politely say 'no' and move on. If they can't take it, or keep pushing, then you didn't need to be hanging out with them anyway. (the RP/interaction would be awful).

Regarding #1 though?
I put in my search "Duskwight RPer"... a my subtle way of saying her interactions would be based on her being a Dusky, so if you get ticked she is lore based and isn't a happy-unicorn-dancing-bunnies chatterbox character... well, that's on you. Tongue

You could do similar- "Introverted character, but open to RP. PST." Or something.

Sorry so long... just wanted to give examples, since some posters seemed to think all introverts/shy characters were hermit recluses that speak in monosyllables and interaction is like pulling teeth. *grins* (I have interacted with such a person IRL and ... omg... I totally understand. I -hated- interacting with her... but thankfully most introverts are NOT like that...)
If you want to meet up sometime *grins* I'm sure we could find a way to meet w/o being contrived too much. Wink

Naunet · **12-07-2014, 06:33 PM**

There was a piece on NPR the other day about introverts that was... very accurate.

Most of the time when you're interacting with another person, it will be almost impossible to tell whether or not they are introverts or extroverts, unless you spend great lengths of time with them. Why? Because society demands that introverts behave in an extroverted fashion in order to progress in life. We are good at pretend. It can be exhausting pretend, though, and introverts generally need "re-charge time" before we can go back out and put on the dog and pony show again. As a teacher, this is an every day struggle for me, but I force myself to do it because the purpose is worthwhile.

I think it's a little one-dimensional to think that if your character is introverted, that means they are always going to behave in a reticent/reserved/shy/whatever way. Society typically demands otherwise.

Blue · **12-07-2014, 10:08 PM**

EDIT-UPDATE:

I'd like to inform everyone that this person has actually found this thread and has gotten back to me. After talking a bit, it came out that she hadn't intentionally avoided me, but that in a moment of distraction she forgot to get back to me to talk more about our characters and RP possibilities. I have now roleplayed with this person and it went very well! Even had a discussion that linked to my personal plot and could possibly open a branch from it.

So, mishaps sometimes happen, and they're not a reason to stop hoping, clearly! I'm glad this sorted out.

Yaaris · **12-08-2014, 12:39 AM**

Personally speaking, I've never had a good experience with an introverted RP character. Mostly because I've never been able to tell an introverted character from a lazily played one who has nothing to say, or has some kind of agenda or something they are waiting to happen (erp).

It gets awkward because I want to include them in the RP, and I go into this mode where I try to socialize them more than they try to do it themselves.

I remember trying to RP with someone in the Quicksand, and they seemed completely uninterested in socializing at all...yet they were in the Quicksand, which is a social RP setting. It dragged on and on and I felt so drained, like I had to FORCE them to RP, and my partner who was with me eventually dragged in one of their more social friends and we hit it off. I felt kind of bad because the introvert we were RPing with was being ignored, then I thought to myself, "I can't keep carrying them around forever" and so I stopped trying to bring them into the conversation.

Then they just left, and whispered me OOC telling me how they were depressed because no one wanted to RP with them.

So yeah...sorry, but introverts are a type I actively try to avoid.

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